I've had quite a bad experience with people meeting their commitment to be at a game session. From what I hear this is not uncommon.

Are people just as bad at other commitments, in your experience, or is it just "gaming" that doesn't seem to be important enough to show up on time for?
=

Can you give some specifics?

Quote from: Greentongue;749275I've had quite a bad experience with people meeting their commitment to be at a game session. From what I hear this is not uncommon.

Are people just as bad at other commitments, in your experience, or is it just "gaming" that doesn't seem to be important enough to show up on time for?
=

It happens if it's tolerated. Some people think it's fine to blow off a game (even some GMs!). I tend to boot players who do that, especially new players, which helps a lot.

There are reasonable and unreasonable excuses for not showing up to a game; we're all adults, we all have other responsibilities in addition to gaming. In an era of rapid communication, you probably should send a text or something to the GM, but even nowadays circumstances can make that difficult.

So... context?

I know how you feel.
I've had my heart set on playing or running Apocalypse World for a while. I have this goal of playing 100 role playing games and I've been stuck at 36% for a while. Apocalypse World would have been 37.
Everybody I invited, everybody who expressed interest, blew me off two weeks in a row.

I am sorry for every time I ever flaked out on a game. I am sorry for every time I was ever late for a game, and every time I ever called to cancel just because I "wasn't feeling well" that day.

Granted, D&D (or whatever game you play) should be pretty far down on the totem pole relative to other priorities. But as a DM, I have to say it's pretty obnoxious when you spend all kinds of time prepping for a session expecting a party of a certain size/composition, only to get "sorry guys, I can't make it tonight" a half-hour before the game.

It is what it is.

Gaming is not that important to some people. Gaming is more important to other people, but circumstances of life etc, can make scheduling an ongoing thing.

You boot the flakes and expand your circle of gamers to increase your options.  Also recognise that long games/campaigns especially can go through stages of changing enthusiasm and commitment.

I have not one, but two big circle of friends who game.

The composition of my gaming groups initially drew mostly from Circle #1, but slowly and surely shifted twoards Circle #2 as people from Circle #1 (already not terribly reliable and commited to begin with; several games fizzled out because of scheduling difficulties) started having kids and spending more time with family. Nowadays it's mostly Circle #2 that provides me with players, with Circle #1 making a tentative comeback as kids hit the 2-year-old marfk and become less demanding of their time and attention (or so I'm told).

I have always reacted unkindly to people who say "Its just a game" .

Well go fuck yourself

Its not a game its a social obligation you have agreed to. No different than a dinner party or Bowling.

I had a friend that was an dedicated Bowler, She bowled 4-5 nights/days a week with different teams. Often with people she only saw at bowling even those on her team. I treat gaming the same way. If someone doesn't show up or gets there to late for bowling the team loses and forfeits. Runing the night, but "Its just a game" right. . bullshit!!

Its a social obligation you made.

Admittedly life does happen and you just can't make it. We are adults and oh well but a casual attitude of it doesn't matter much if I show up late or not at all just because its a game is unbelievable rude in my eyes.

I have one player now who is always late. About to have a talk with her as she has no real excuse for being late, very F'in week. That is enough to be excused from the game.

I also have a player in my week night game who is an actor so he is out of game 5-8 weeks when he has a show (unless he is director then he schedules game night off) but I know this and it is understood that he has other obligations. But we all know that up front. Simple as that.

I believe in Social contracts not that it actually has to be written out but it helps if you at least discuss what you expect.

Just my thoughts

On the one hand, it isn't 'new'.  Jaquays's blue book (1990) has some excellent advice on how to cope with it for example, and I imagine there are sources older than that.

On the other hand, Merls at least thinks it's new.  They're designing 5e to be more approachable, according to the article I read.   Something like "if I can finish a Mass Effect quest in an hour, why not a D&D adventure?"

For specific help, though, we'll need to know more about the people.   There are varying degrees of what's acceptable.   The guy who just can't ever be honest about his availability is different than a parent of a special needs child is different from the roommate who blows you off to watch TV under the very same roof.

For us, it's been Monday night for the past 5 years. If you want to play in our group, you have to guarantee those Monday nights will be free. This is made clear from day one to someone wishing to join. If you can't set aside Mondays for gaming, no hard feelings... We do run one-shots occasionally and we invite those who can't make it regularly.

A guy at my local game shop has been running a table on Sunday for months. Just a week or so ago he had to cancel because not enough players showed up. I was there when he got a text message from one of the players who must have somehow suddenly realized he was too sick to attend. No "I may not be able to make it" warnings, just a single text less than a half hour before the game was supposed to begin.

If more than one person is flaking out, you may need to revise your schedule. Some people can't do once a week. It might be better to play twice a month with 5 players than once a week with 2-3.

It could also be that you're trying to turn friends into gamers. If this is your hobby, you may need to build a group of other hobbyists, rather than try to convert friends into caring about gaming as much as you do.

Quote from: BedrockBrendan;749277Can you give some specifics?

Mostly just venting. The worst is Play by Post where you get people that are all excited to play the game you describe, make characters then never continue.

The most recent table top example was people wanting to try a Savage Worlds game at the game shop but no two people showing up on the same weekend time.

Lucky that MtG only needs one other person and they don't even have to be the same person every time. Still, fond but fading memories of RPG gaming.
=

Quote from: Greentongue;749365Still, fond but fading memories of RPG gaming.
=

Amen brother. I have three gamers WHO LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS I DO and we can't get our collective shit together. We talk about it all the time but never seem to get to play.

That is one of the allures of MtG. Twenty minutes, one stranger. Done.

I don't play that anymore because it's too expensive to keep up with play sets of all the new cards. But there's a definite allure.

But more to the point: One way to change player behavior is to change the game parameters.

If you set up a sandbox, you don't need the same group to come each week. Wind up a living world and let your guys know ahead of time that their characters will only be able to participate if they make it back to town in the interim to pick up the next group that shows up.  Otherwise, they are considered to be "camping out" wherever you left them.

Then, #1, players will want to make it so they can play their mains so they will naturally wrap things up and retire at the end of the session, and #2 they will show up more because they don't want to fall behind in terms of XP, treasure and exploration rewards.