The Fuckwaldostiltskin Rebecca Borgstrom Theory

[RPGPundit]

Let us consider a new theory, and since this theory is about Rebecca Borgstrom, I thought it ought to have some kind of a ridiculous name, in honour of how she endlessly invents ridiculous titles for "laws" that are really gaming terms commonly recognized by other names, or that are just gamer common sense, or that are utter nonsense.

This is the new "Fuckwaldostiltskin Rebecca Borgstrom" theory, just in time for christmas.

The theory is based on the following postulates:

A. Rebecca Borgstrom is a Swine.
B. The Swine generally want to put an emphasis on "story" and "roleplaying", and tend to see rules as unimportant or at least secondary in a "storytelling game".
C. However, Borgstrom's games are always hugely heavy on gaming terminology, special rules, sets and subsets.
D. But: these rules don't actually create a game.  In Borgstrom's books, the end result of her mechanic is always an unplayable morass of junk topping up a fundamentally boring mechanic.  Anyone who tried to play it straight would either go mad or die from boredom, or is already not mentally well.

Which leads me to the theory:

R. Borgstrom's RPGs are actually a very clever effort on the part of the Swine to try to convince the gaming world that rules are stupid and useless and should not be paid attention to in RPGs.
She achieves this by creating a game so unusuable and unwieldly that people foolish and stupid enough to try to play one of her games are bound to ignore or bend the vast majority of the game's rules.  Borgstrom's hope is that in this way, people will get more used to bending or ignoring rules in ALL RPGs, thus creating a "victory" for the Swine.
At the same time there is a vast conspiracy of Swine who are intentionally posting on message boards about how wonderful and brilliant and straightforward her systems are, specifically to encourage people to pick up and read the game, but to at the same time frustrate and discourage people into thinking that the game would require too much work or brains to "play right" and to thus just house-rule and wing it all.


Sounds kind of nuts, right? I mean, really, a vast conspiracy of Borgstrom-toadies in a plot?  Well, maybe, but consider the only possible alternative:  that Borgstrom is just the worst game designer currently in the market, who hides her incompetence behind flashy words and presentation (and even those are more quantity than quality), and a top-level Swine-attitude that suggests that her games are for the artists and intellectuals, and that if you don't see how brilliant she is its just your fault and it obviously means you are neither artistic nor smart.  And all the reams of people on RPG.net who sing her praises and claim that the system is "brilliant" are really just complete idiots who are lying to everyone's face about "getting" the system in order to appear to be one of the "cognoscenti".
It would be the one of the most glaring cases of the "Emperor having no clothes" in gaming history. I mean, really, a game designer that has absolutely no redeeming qualities or talent, being held up by a vast gang of morons each of whom thinks they are the only one who secretly didn't "get" how "smart" the game is, but carry on so as not to look stupid.

Frankly, the "vast conspiracy" thing seems almost believable in comparison.

RPGPundit Dec 24 2005

[Blackleaf]

Oh no.

[The Yann Waters]

Oh no.

Getting that familiar sinking feeling again, eh?

[Settembrini]

It´s the Christmas Borgstrom!
Eeek!

[beejazz]

Yeah. Just lame. All around.

And if I can see that, you've got problems.

[rcsample]

It´s the Christmas Borgstrom!
Eeek!

I think we are being visited by "The Ghost of Borgstrom Past".

Someone please perform an exorcism:  "MAY THE POWER OF PONCH COMPEL YOU!!!!!


I think my next character is going to be called "Fuckwaldostilskin".

[The Yann Waters]

It´s the Christmas Borgstrom!
Eeek!

[RedFox]

Feh, she's not swine.

You just have to reach some sort of higher plane of consciousness before you can understand the Fair Folk shaping combat system.

At which point, it's child's play.  Supposedly it's just like regular combat, despite how unwieldy and nonsensical it looks to the unenlightened masses!

(See?  I have a Borgstrom pet peeve too.)

[Spike]

Feh, she's not swine.

You just have to reach some sort of higher plane of consciousness before you can understand the Fair Folk shaping combat system.

At which point, it's child's play.  Supposedly it's just like regular combat, despite how unwieldy and nonsensical it looks to the unenlightened masses!

(See?  I have a Borgstrom pet peeve too.)

Actually, I never got that deep into Fair Folk. When the shapeless formless chaos turned out all along to be bound by the rules of literature, I put the book down in disgust and moved on.  Call me crazy but to me formless chaos from outside creation is... well, out fucking side creation, not 'a story being told' or some nonsense like that.

Feh.

[laffingboy]

But is she hot?

'Cause I can forgive any failing of an attractive woman.

[Settembrini]

But is she hot?

That my friend, is in the eye of the beholder.
Actually, I´d say beholders might find her attractive.

[Sosthenes]

Dear Asia Carrera,

remember when in the early days of Slashdot the whole geek "community" was up in flames because you posted on your website that you tried out Linux? I have a new business proposition for you...