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Indiana Jones and the Castration of the Lost Balls

Started by Thor's Nads, July 04, 2023, 04:55:39 AM

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Thor's Nads

July 04, 2023, 04:55:39 AM
I'll try to do this with no spoilers and keep the details vague enough.

I wish I had good news to report. I was hoping for a great, or at least good Indiana Jones movie. And for the first 15 minutes it almost seemed like it was going to be one. Great action set amid the last days of WW2. De-aged Indy that was actually pretty good FX except in a few angles and lighting situations. It sets up what might be a good story.

Then it cuts to the 1960's and falls apart. We got Lucasfilm's favorite new trope: take a beloved character and turn him into a sad, pathetic, failure of an old man. The entire middle of the film is plagued with chase scenes that don't feel fresh or exciting and go on for way too long. Oh, there are moments like Indy riding a galloping horse in the NY subway. And we get one of the worst, most unlikeable characters I've ever seen on film. She's a liar, a thief, lacking in morals, uses her body for favors and cash, and betrays Indy at every chance. I think they were trying for the "charming rogue" archetype, but the actress didn't have the charisma to pull that off, particularly next to Harrison Ford who even at 80 still has moments of that old spark.

Then the last third of the movie is dull, meanders, and is forgettable. Fortunately this is not a time travel movie per se, though a bit of that happens at the end. Our unlikeable female lead (and she is the lead) punches out Indy as he is dying from a chest wound. Yeah, really. There is a weird cut, they clearly changed the ending and reshot it, and no explanation as to what happened.

The last 5 minutes of the movie are very sweet though.

2 out of 5 stars.
Gen-Xtra

Grognard GM

#2
July 05, 2023, 08:41:55 PM Last Edit: July 05, 2023, 08:52:32 PM by Grognard GM
Quote from: Thor's Nads on July 04, 2023, 04:55:39 AM2 out of 5 stars.

The only stars any company should see for pissing on Indy's corpse, should be after they've been punched in the face.
I'm a middle aged guy with a lot of free time, looking for similar, to form a group for regular gaming. You should be chill, non-woke, and have time on your hands.

See below:

https://www.therpgsite.com/news-and-adverts/looking-to-form-a-group-of-people-with-lots-of-spare-time-for-regular-games/

Thor's Nads

#3
July 05, 2023, 10:47:22 PM
Quote from: jhkim on July 05, 2023, 01:33:53 PM
I think this belongs in the Media and Inspiration forum.

https://www.therpgsite.com/media-inspiration/

You may be right. I never noticed that forum before, and this is for game reviews not reviews in general.
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