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You're a Pussy

Started by One Horse Town, June 04, 2014, 07:43:31 PM

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One Horse Town

June 04, 2014, 07:43:31 PM
Yes, you.

You know who you are.

My Fighter does 1.5 less points of damage a round with a short sword than with a longsword. I want balance damn it!

My Wizard sucks at combat. I need compensation!

My Thief only has 75% chance of opening locks. The Wizard has taken my stuff!

I lost my special key-ring. Get another one, loser!

But, but, i haven't got all my hit points back in 30 seconds. Suck it up dick-wad!

I need to be special. Oh, but you are, cupcake.

What a load of drivel. Pick up the dice, roll up your guy and stop fucking crying. Waah, waah, waah.

That's what RPG forums look like these days.

and breathe...

David Johansen

#1
June 04, 2014, 07:49:24 PM
Can I use that as the introduction for my game, please?
Fantasy Adventure Comic, games, and more http://www.uncouthsavage.com

trechriron

#2
June 04, 2014, 07:52:37 PM
Have you played or read Hackmaster 5? Cause that crowd is 100% on board with that diatribe. The game is a hoot, lots of tactical options, and I found it really limited CharOp problems. The book has lots of colorful admonitions about pussy approaches and yellow-bellied antics. :D
Trentin C Bergeron (trechriron)
Bard, Creative & RPG Enthusiast
----------------------------------------------------------------------
D.O.N.G. Black-Belt (Thanks tenbones!)

dragoner

#3
June 04, 2014, 07:55:56 PM
What did we learn on the show tonite Craig? Meeow ...
The most beautiful peonies I ever saw ... were grown in almost pure cat excrement.
-Vonnegut

Simlasa

#4
June 04, 2014, 08:04:51 PM Last Edit: June 04, 2014, 08:09:37 PM by Simlasa
Quote from: One Horse Town;755436That's what RPG forums look like these days.
There's also a large contingent of He-Man wannabes who get off on being the internet tough guy. Thinking they're 'mature' because they say "Fuck" and toss around lots of insults.

JamesV

#5
June 04, 2014, 08:23:17 PM
TRIGGER WARNING: Hardcore gaming follows.

My game is so hardcore when wizards cast a spell the player has to give a vial of blood. For melee combat players of fighters must do 50 push ups then get stabbed in the shoulder with a serving fork.

For "balance", cure spells involve erotic massage from attractive models of the appropriate orientation.
Running: Dogs of WAR - Beer & Pretzels & Bullets
Planning to Run: Godbound or Stars Without Number
Playing: Star Wars D20 Rev.

A lack of moderation doesn\'t mean saying every asshole thing that pops into your head.

Opaopajr

#6
June 04, 2014, 08:31:59 PM
This would be a good time to link to the song, "I am a Cat" by Shonen Knife.
Just make your fuckin\' guy and roll the dice, you pricks. Focus on what\'s interesting, not what gives you the biggest randomly generated virtual penis.  -- J Arcane
 
You know, people keep comparing non-TSR D&D to deck-building in Magic: the Gathering. But maybe it\'s more like Katamari Damacy. You keep sticking shit on your characters until they are big enough to be a star.
-- talysman

JamesV

#7
June 04, 2014, 08:36:05 PM
I'll say this much, if I can play three different board games last Saturday and not win any of them, I think I can handle an RPG where I play a magic-user with 1 HP, or lose a level when a spectre touches me.
Running: Dogs of WAR - Beer & Pretzels & Bullets
Planning to Run: Godbound or Stars Without Number
Playing: Star Wars D20 Rev.

A lack of moderation doesn\'t mean saying every asshole thing that pops into your head.

Doom

#8
June 04, 2014, 08:50:46 PM
Heh, a certain forum I know actually had a regular post "wizards should get +1 per level BAB....".

There's folks like that, is all.
(taken during hurricane winds)

A nice education blog.

Marleycat

#9
June 04, 2014, 08:56:26 PM
Quote from: Doom;755466Heh, a certain forum I know actually had a regular post "wizards should get +1 per level BAB....".

There's folks like that, is all.

What game? Is that per level? Or just +1 and done? Details would be helpful.
Don\'t mess with cats we kill wizards in one blow.;)

Doom

#10
June 04, 2014, 09:00:03 PM
Quote from: Marleycat;755470What game? Is that per level? Or just +1 and done? Details would be helpful.

Pathfinder/3.5, per level. Is there another game that uses BAB?
(taken during hurricane winds)

A nice education blog.

dragoner

#11
June 04, 2014, 09:00:33 PM
Quote from: Opaopajr;755454This would be a good time to link to the song, "I am a Cat" by Shonen Knife.

... or Lords of Acid - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l435Y12jw4o
The most beautiful peonies I ever saw ... were grown in almost pure cat excrement.
-Vonnegut

Scott Anderson

#12
June 04, 2014, 09:14:02 PM
Hunh. I thought you were calling me a pussy.

Actually... We are talking about fantasy role-playing game bitch fights. Merely being knowledgable about them makes you a pussy.
With no fanfare, the stone giant turned to his son and said, "That\'s why you never build a castle in a swamp."

robiswrong

#13
June 04, 2014, 09:21:39 PM
Quote from: Marleycat;755470What game? Is that per level? Or just +1 and done? Details would be helpful.

+1 BAB per level would be fine.  So long as they didn't get any spells with their level as well ;)

Marleycat

#14
June 04, 2014, 09:22:51 PM
Quote from: Doom;755472Pathfinder/3.5, per level. Is there another game that uses BAB?

Plenty and you're right about enough said on that question. Sometimes it's hard to take anything seriously in the face of such inanity.
Don\'t mess with cats we kill wizards in one blow.;)
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