SPECIAL NOTICE
Malicious code was found on the site, which has been removed, but would have been able to access files and the database, revealing email addresses, posts, and encoded passwords (which would need to be decoded). However, there is no direct evidence that any such activity occurred. REGARDLESS, BE SURE TO CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS. And as is good practice, remember to never use the same password on more than one site. While performing housekeeping, we also decided to upgrade the forums.
This is a site for discussing roleplaying games. Have fun doing so, but there is one major rule: do not discuss political issues that aren't directly and uniquely related to the subject of the thread and about gaming. While this site is dedicated to free speech, the following will not be tolerated: devolving a thread into unrelated political discussion, sockpuppeting (using multiple and/or bogus accounts), disrupting topics without contributing to them, and posting images that could get someone fired in the workplace (an external link is OK, but clearly mark it as Not Safe For Work, or NSFW). If you receive a warning, please take it seriously and either move on to another topic or steer the discussion back to its original RPG-related theme.

Who's the Asshole of the Monster Manual?

Started by RPGPundit, December 27, 2015, 11:20:44 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1 2
User actions

RPGPundit

December 27, 2015, 11:20:44 PM
The monster that none of the other monsters can stand?
LION & DRAGON: Medieval-Authentic OSR Roleplaying is available now! You only THINK you\'ve played \'medieval fantasy\' until you play L&D.


My Blog:  http://therpgpundit.blogspot.com/
The most famous uruguayan gaming blog on the planet!

NEW!
Check out my short OSR supplements series; The RPGPundit Presents!


Dark Albion: The Rose War! The OSR fantasy setting of the history that inspired Shakespeare and Martin alike.
Also available in Variant Cover form!
Also, now with the CULTS OF CHAOS cult-generation sourcebook

ARROWS OF INDRA
Arrows of Indra: The Old-School Epic Indian RPG!
NOW AVAILABLE: AoI in print form

LORDS OF OLYMPUS
The new Diceless RPG of multiversal power, adventure and intrigue, now available.

Willie the Duck

#1
December 28, 2015, 12:48:23 PM
Otyugh? Or is that too obvious?

Baulderstone

#2
December 28, 2015, 01:20:58 PM
You just know the dragon has to be hard to work with. He has to get his name in the title of the game, and he gets paid a higher treasure rating. All the warning signs of a diva are there.

Simlasa

#3
December 28, 2015, 02:21:00 PM
Quote from: Baulderstone;870875You just know the dragon has to be hard to work with. He has to get his name in the title of the game, and he gets paid a higher treasure rating. All the warning signs of a diva are there.
That'd make a fun reveal... when the party finally makes their way to the dragon's lair, only to find it long dead. Captive orc says, "Yeah, we killed that fucker years ago... really prissy shit trying to boss us around all the time. Killed it and then used some of its treasure to install this really nice permanent dragon illusion, to keep out the riff raff."

Willie the Duck

#4
December 28, 2015, 02:46:29 PM
Maybe whichever cthuloid or other monster is your campaign's stereotypical "monster from beyond mortal understanding." I can see the holiday party--the orc chieftain, beholder, and yuan-ti are meeting around the punch bowl:
Orc- "Y'know, I can handle the demons telling me he'll take my soul, and the angels telling me that their god's gift to the world, and even the dragon just telling me to give them my gold and serve them or die. But what do you do when some half-aquatic weirdo walks up and says, "Kdssuuufarrgh! Obfuscate the fidelity of the nerrmo valences, puny orc!?"

Alzrius

#6
December 28, 2015, 03:13:00 PM
Quote from: Willie the Duck;870871Otyugh? Or is that too obvious?

I'd say it's the neo-otyugh. This guy is a monster that's literally shitty yet is trying to pass himself off as new and avante-garde. Pretentious hipster.
"...player narration and DM fiat fall apart whenever there's anything less than an incredibly high level of trust for the DM. The general trend of D&D's design up through the end of 4e is to erase dependence on player-DM trust as much as possible, not to create antagonism, but to insulate both sides from it when it appears." - Brandes Stoddard

David Johansen

#7
December 28, 2015, 04:08:13 PM
Brownies, annoying little assholes stole my socks!
Fantasy Adventure Comic, games, and more http://www.uncouthsavage.com

Christopher Brady

#8
December 28, 2015, 09:33:26 PM
The Tarrasque.  You can't have a conversation with the guy, all he does is eat and eat, with no consideration of the chaos or people he's eating.  Total jerkbag.
"And now, my friends, a Dragon\'s toast!  To life\'s little blessings:  wars, plagues and all forms of evil.  Their presence keeps us alert --- and their absence makes us grateful." -T.A. Barron[/SIZE]

Cave Bear

#9
December 28, 2015, 10:13:30 PM
Quote from: RPGPundit;870789The monster that none of the other monsters can stand?

Man.

David Johansen

#10
December 28, 2015, 10:44:44 PM
The Tarasque isn't even in the AD&D Monster Manual!

Anyhow, easily defeated by a decanter of endless water and a cornucopia.

Even Thor couldn't drink the entire ocean.
Fantasy Adventure Comic, games, and more http://www.uncouthsavage.com

Xavier Onassiss

#11
December 29, 2015, 02:51:08 AM
Beholder gets all shitty with anyone who doesn't have exactly the right number of eye-stalks. Or even if you do, they find out one of your eye rays casts Haste instead of Slow and suddenly you're back on their shit list.

Impossible creatures, really.

Opaopajr

#12
December 29, 2015, 07:27:22 AM
Humans! They're up in everybody's business, pokin' around, lootin' 'n shit. Damn, just scandalous it is.
Just make your fuckin\' guy and roll the dice, you pricks. Focus on what\'s interesting, not what gives you the biggest randomly generated virtual penis.  -- J Arcane
 
You know, people keep comparing non-TSR D&D to deck-building in Magic: the Gathering. But maybe it\'s more like Katamari Damacy. You keep sticking shit on your characters until they are big enough to be a star.
-- talysman

YourSwordisMine

#13
December 29, 2015, 01:05:12 PM
Humans have the greatest potential for evil.

Evil Deities are evil by nature.

Humans are evil by choice.
Quote from: ExploderwizardStarting out as fully formed awesome and riding the awesome train across a flat plane to awesome town just doesn\'t feel like D&D. :)

Quote from: ExploderwizardThe interwebs are like Tahiti - its a magical place.

Christopher Brady

#14
December 29, 2015, 05:53:41 PM
Quote from: Opaopajr;871020Humans! They're up in everybody's business, pokin' around, lootin' 'n shit. Damn, just scandalous it is.

RACIST!  What, you think Dwarves, Elves and Halflings smell any better? (OK, Elves probably smell like flowers, I'll give ya that one) they often join the Humans with their lootin' 'n' pillagin' 'n' shit!
"And now, my friends, a Dragon\'s toast!  To life\'s little blessings:  wars, plagues and all forms of evil.  Their presence keeps us alert --- and their absence makes us grateful." -T.A. Barron[/SIZE]
Print
Go Up Pages1 2
User actions