That you ever saw, or came up with... what was it?
RPGPundit
One interesting one was a sentient telepathic bronze skull that would accept fingers as offerings and bestow power.
So as a player there have been many sometimes the simplest are the most extraordianry. So in D&D.
We once found a mirror. If you stared into it you made a Will save (in our game it was roll under Wisdom) or you fell in love with your image and stood there staring at it until someone stopped you. You would age just reglarly and couldn;t perform any other action. It seems strange because in D&D most items come with a load of meta rules. If you take those away and make them more like the items you find in myth that makes them seem strange. So for x rounds or take y damage etc etc ....
That I created was a Mundane Egg. Inside it contained a as yet unrealised plane of existence. Crack it open and a dimension comes into being over which you have demiurgical power.
"Created"? Others have also read "The Books of Magic", you know... :P
Quote from: Premier;590577"Created"? Others have also read "The Books of Magic", you know... :P
true .. :) but created as a d&d item
But good call.
From the Novel "The Misenchanted Sword". It kept you alive forever, but let you age. It would take you over to kill, but only so many times until it turned on you. It would be bound to you, and would move heaven and earth to return (as in bury it and here come a 10.0 to bring it back). And only fought demons, never human or demi humans. Also, once drawn, it couldn't leave your hand until it killed something, but only one thing and you were on your own.
It played havoc with a Paladin in a 2e game once it was converted to D&D rules.
Our setting much set up for low level enchantment to be merely uncommon.
One of the most fun recently was a green velvel beret of Chance Meeting. Dark Green, with Gold trim in the shape of an eye and a hand.
Had Probablity Strike (http://celtricia.pbworks.com/w/page/14955977/Probability%20Strike%2C%20Minor), Chance meeting (http://celtricia.pbworks.com/w/page/14955397/Chance%20Meeting), Chaotic Encounters (http://celtricia.pbworks.com/w/page/14955404/Chaotic%20Encounters), and Sophist (http://celtricia.pbworks.com/w/page/14955404/Chaotic%20Encounters) , all once per day.
One of the bards made the mosty out of this, sowing mischief all around.
Chicken-shaped magical helmet which is actually a cursed chicken princess from another world. That counts as weird, right?
There were some weird ones in the Dragon Magazine's Bazaar of the Bizarre. I seem to recall the Cupid's Sword, which made the person you just stabbed fall in love with you if they failed a save. That was odd.
Quote from: VectorSigma;590666Chicken-shaped magical helmet which is actually a cursed chicken princess from another world. That counts as weird, right?
Yep, nice and weird
Quote from: LordVreeg;590686Yep, nice and weird
Everything's relative. ;)
Apparatus of Kwalish in the DMG. A magical submarine that looked like a big lobster....
Chalk of Fire Wall - Draw a line on the ground, get a fire wall.
The Scrotum of Vecna.
It appeared to be a powerful artifact, similar to the Eye or Hand of Vecna, but actually it only had one power: it compelled power-hungry munchkins to castrate themselves for no good reason.
"Dude... what were you thinking? Vecna was a lich. His junk didn't work any more."
As long as we're ripping...err...inspiring magic items off media, I've used this one from the film Your Highness (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1240982/):
Miscellaneous Item: Cauldron of Hydras (aka Marteetee's Cauldron)
XP ???
This item looks like an ordinary (20 lb.) iron cauldron. A thick, mustard-colored, alchemical brew in the Cauldron allows the user to summon a five-headed (5HD) hydra by placing a hand inside. The hydra springs up from the ground, and the user can control it by moving his hand while it is inside the alchemical brew. The user cannot engage in any actions, other than speaking, while controlling the hydra. The user can "move" the hydra by removing his hand and plunging it back into the brew (use the hydra's movement rate to determine where the user can place it).
There is a significant risk in using the Cauldron. Every time one of the hydra's heads is cut off, the user will suffer one hit point of damage and lose a finger from the hand inside the cauldron (roll 1d6):
1. Pinikie
2. Ring
3. Middle
4. Index
5. Thumb
6. DM's choice
The hydra disappears when all of the heads are cut off, and the user has no fingers left on his hand. Although the damage can be healed normally, the fingers can only be regenerated by a heal, regenerate, or wish spell. Natural or magical regeneration can also bring back lost fingers.
The recipe for the alchemical brew is sometimes etched in magical runes upon the Cauldron (35% chance). Otherwise, anyone who wishes to use the Cauldron must research the brew's recipe.
In Nomine SJG is a veritable smörgåsborg of this stuff. Liber Reliquarum is particularly chock full of awesome in this regard. Here, I'll just give you two:
Forty Slices of Cheese
"Compacted through the forces of time into a hard block of dark orange resin, the Forth Slices of Cheese are darkly malevolent. They were once given to a Remnant demon, homeless on the streets of America, by a government subsidy program. Indignant with the gift, she poured the last of her disdain for the human race into the slices, and an Infernal Intervention imbued them with the power to cause revulsion in anyone who holds them.
Anyone who touches the Forty Slices of Cheese must make a Will roll at -5 or become repulsed by the next thing he sees. This effect will last for a number of days equal to the check digit of the failed Will roll.
Note that, as a celestial artifact, the Forty Slices of Cheese are quite indestructible by any normal means."
"Violation"
"This aptly-named relic-weapon is nothing more than a holy parking meter. It was imbued with its special properties when the Holy Spirit intervened on behalf of a Malakite of Eli who tore it out of a sidewalk during a battle with demons. The parking meter was transformed into a celestial artifact on the spot.
Violation normally acts as a weapon with a Power of +4 and an Accuracy of -1; it requires the Large Weapon (Club) skill. It also requires a Strength of 6 to wield effectively (reduce Accuracy and Power each by 1 for every point the wielder's Strength falls below this minimum) because it's so heavy and unwieldy. However, when someone puts a coin in its slot (it takes nickels, dimes, and quarters), the Strength minimum disappears for the duration of the time on the meter, and it gains an additional 1 die Power!"
Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity
Who would make such an item, and why? Why does it only work once, and why does it inhibit changing back?
If you take the metagame factors into account it works, but as a real thing commonly encountered as a part of a treasure hoard, it's really damn weird.
Quote from: mcbobbo;590795Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity
Who would make such an item, and why? Why does it only work once, and why does it inhibit changing back?
If you take the metagame factors into account it works, but as a real thing commonly encountered as a part of a treasure hoard, it's really damn weird.
The ancients were a decadent lot. In their boredom and debauchery, they created depraved magical items to inflict on slaves, or even themselves. Such cavalier use of magic was an affront to the gods, and the so the ancients were cast down.
But seriously, it was probably made up just for a gag :)
Quote from: The Were-Grognard;590882The ancients were a decadent lot. In their boredom and debauchery, they created depraved magical items to inflict on slaves, or even themselves. Such cavalier use of magic was an affront to the gods, and the so the ancients were cast down.
But seriously, it was probably made up just for a gag :)
I think it was a metagame trap, and it speaks a little to the difference in culture, too.
But as a real item, I'd expect it to be reusable at the very least...
'Head of Vecna' is pretty good.
An amulet that cured dental disease called Tserc.
My players found a creepy painting that animated dead. That was fairly normal for what it was, but then they took it back with them to their home base (a magic university) unaware of its powers. And I decided on the fly it was an artifact, not a mere magic item...and had it animate the entire cemetery. Ended up in a great pitched battle with the players fighting beside the professors. Turned into a major plot point, with people arguing to use the artifact in a war effort, others arguing it was unethical to do so, a successful attempt to steal the artifact, and other great stuff in the campaign.
Ars Magica is a great font of inspiration for me. In one campaign the players found a large mirror which showed the presence of magic in its reflection. It could even spot regio and sources of vis. One of the magi took it with him on an expedition to search for a source of vis and promptly dropped it... and it wasn't actually his mirror.
Great source of intra convent conflict :)
And, a timely article from Wizards of the Coast (http://www.wizards.com/DnD/Article.aspx?x=dnd/ftr/20121012).
Ok, well those are some pretty weird items, alright!
RPGPundit
A Detect Mountain Matrix with a range of 10 metres, in a boulder that was so heavy that had to be carried around in a cart.
Believe it or not, it came in useful in a scenario involving flying around a magical mountain that killed anyone who touched it in a very dense fog - the PCs flew the boulder very slowly and fired off a Detect Mountain every so often, to be GM's displeasure.
Quote from: soltakss;592798A Detect Mountain Matrix with a range of 10 metres, in a boulder that was so heavy that had to be carried around in a cart.
Believe it or not, it came in useful in a scenario involving flying around a magical mountain that killed anyone who touched it in a very dense fog - the PCs flew the boulder very slowly and fired off a Detect Mountain every so often, to be GM's displeasure.
Seriously? That one fucking takes the cake. Was there even any justification for why such an item would exist? Who the fuck would wake up one day and say "I'm going to make a huge ungainly item that can detect mountains; and only has a range so tiny that obviously anyone with the item would see the fucking mountain right in front of them in almost any circumstance"!?
RPGPundit
Surely there exists a subset of wizards to whom magic item creation is an opportunity to make 'great art' which has 'social meaning'. Perhaps the mountain-detecting boulder is a sorcerous attempt at sociopolitical commentary.
My favorite part about Detect-Mountain Boulder's story is that it came in use and garnered GM displeasure (as if he was surprised or something!). Either a GM with a wicked sense of humor and good acting skills, or a GM who is truly a scatter-brain genius like a real wizard.
I stated up a Jack Chick Tract and the Dungeons & Dragons Roller Coaster Ride for 3rd Edition D&D.
New Wondrous Item: Dungeons & Dragons Roller Coaster Ride
This magic item appears to be nothing more than a theme park amusement ride based off of the world's most popular table-top role-playing game. Anybody who sits in the cart (can hold 6 Medium-size creatures) will be transported to a specifically determined campaign setting halfway through the ride. At this time, the surrounding environment will transform into a giant swirling tunnel (like a hypno-disk) while the cart tracks are suspended in mid-air.
The cart, and its tracks, will vanish from existence once the occupants are successfully transported. The effect is one-way, and the stranded people must find an alternate means of getting back home.
Strong Conjuration and Illusion; CL 20; Gate, Hallucinatory Terrain; Price: 120,000 gp
New Wondrous Item: Chick Tract
This item appears to be a small book containing pictographs. The story is usually of an impious or "sinful" person who learns the error of his ways and accepts God, or meets a fiery fate in Hell. Anyone with an Intelligence score of 3 and can speak a language can comprehend a Chick Tract. The Tracts' definition of a sinful person is incredibly broad, and brands huge swaths of religions (both in our world and the campaign setting), sexual orientations, ideologies, and scholarly thought with this label.
After reading a Tract, the person must make a Will Save (DC 12, reader can add her highest mental ability score modifier as bonus to save) or develop a burning hatred against the "sinful" group in the Tract and a strong desire to show the Tract to others and convert people to Chick's narrow religious beliefs.
The Tract can only affect a person once, and a person who succeeds on the save thereafter finds all Tracts to be ridiculous, bigoted, tripe (or a madman who has gone too far). The Tract only works on readers who already have an unfavorable view of the group covered.
A Tract can be used an unlimited number of times. Many of Chick's followers leave the Tracts in treasure piles, public areas, or between the pages of holy texts and library books in the hopes of spreading their message to as many people as possible.
Strong Enchantment; CL 13; comprehend languages, zealot pact, suggestion; 81,000 gp.
Quote from: RPGPundit;593346Seriously? That one fucking takes the cake. Was there even any justification for why such an item would exist? Who the fuck would wake up one day and say "I'm going to make a huge ungainly item that can detect mountains; and only has a range so tiny that obviously anyone with the item would see the fucking mountain right in front of them in almost any circumstance"!?
RPGPundit
It's possible to "botch" or roll a critical failure (or whatever term they're using these days) when creating a magic item in
Ars Magica. And I could see something like this resulting from that process... it was meant to be a small stone with a really long range, but due to a miscalculation, the numbers for its range and size got switched around, with disastrous results... it instantly grew to enormous size, fell right through the laboratory floor, and three floors underneath, into the dungeon under the tower, killing nine grogs as it went, (a very inauspicious number!) and enraging the entire covenant....
(Didn't something like that happen with a botched fireball in
Order of the Stick?)
Quote from: RPGPundit;593346Seriously? That one fucking takes the cake. Was there even any justification for why such an item would exist? Who the fuck would wake up one day and say "I'm going to make a huge ungainly item that can detect mountains; and only has a range so tiny that obviously anyone with the item would see the fucking mountain right in front of them in almost any circumstance"!?
RPGPundit
Well, they wanted to MAKE mountains out of Molehills, and instead now they SEEK mountains out of Molehills. It's very important to get your runes right.
I've always been fond of the frictionless tablecloth and the clown suit that's totally immune to crushing damage from GURPS Magic Items.
Quote from: mcbobbo;590795Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity
Who would make such an item, and why? Why does it only work once, and why does it inhibit changing back?
If you take the metagame factors into account it works, but as a real thing commonly encountered as a part of a treasure hoard, it's really damn weird.
Ancient decadent total fucking asshole warlords in a past age of depravity and patriarchal societies.
Conquer a rival and literally emasculate him.
Quote from: RPGPundit;593346Seriously? That one fucking takes the cake. Was there even any justification for why such an item would exist? Who the fuck would wake up one day and say "I'm going to make a huge ungainly item that can detect mountains; and only has a range so tiny that obviously anyone with the item would see the fucking mountain right in front of them in almost any circumstance"!?
RPGPundit
I can see it mechanically occurring if one was using a system that had rules for making magic items with the possibility of random results, especially if that was tied to failure on the attempt.
A boulder that detects mountains with a range of 10 meters sounds like something spat out of procedural use of random tables.
Quote from: The Were-Grognard;590882The ancients were a decadent lot. In their boredom and debauchery, they created depraved magical items to inflict on slaves, or even themselves. Such cavalier use of magic was an affront to the gods, and the so the ancients were cast down.
But seriously, it was probably made up just for a gag :)
I had a DM who loved to put fuckover items like this in the dungeon and would literally giggle like a schoolgirl when someone got one- and while still giggling, ask why the player was so bent out of shape. He plays with us now, but that is all he gets to do is play. Really, in retrospect, the fuckover items were the least of his problems as a DM.
Quote from: David Johansen;593500I've always been fond of the frictionless tablecloth and the clown suit that's totally immune to crushing damage from GURPS Magic Items.
I recall one guy had a magic item that made him immue to anything that started with the letter "D". Dragons, dwarves, death . . .
Quote from: Gib;593506I had a DM who loved to put fuckover items like this in the dungeon and would literally giggle like a schoolgirl when someone got one- and while still giggling, ask why the player was so bent out of shape. He plays with us now, but that is all he gets to do is play. Really, in retrospect, the fuckover items were the least of his problems as a DM.
Back in our days of D&D with nearly infinite magic, we had a gift for making good use of cursed magic items, or just finding them to be . . . not really cursed (one player got a girdle that turned the character gay - except she already was).
Best one was a be that a guy got at a convention. It supposedly had some powerful good effect, too, but the curse was that anyone who sat on it was sacrificed to an unknown god. That was as far as the explanation got. The guy who got it walked away, literally giggling to himself, leaving the gamemaster very confused ("Don't you want to know what its powers are?" "No, I'm happy.")
Why? Well, this was an extremely high powered magic game, where death wasn't even always an inconvenience. One character was cut in half by a molecular wire, and didn't even break stride. Killing someone might actually make them happier. It took a lot more than that to really get rid of someone (and there was a lot of in-game conflict between characters, many of whom were powerful lords). One way was to sacrifice them to a god, at which point, someone would have to negotiate with said god to get the soul back. If the god was
defined as unknown . . .
There was also a character who got a throne that made him king of all he could survey - literally. Drove him insane, though, because it also gave anyone who worshipped him as a god up to third level clerical spells.
I custom-build just about every mystical item in my stories. As such, most have unusual features, functions and story elements. I also have a penchant for designing very odd 'cursed' (joke) items. One such is the Canoe of Blinking.
The most recent bizarre item is a dress of woven paper flowers. It is a Dress of Stupidity, reducing the wearer's Intellect by 2d6,Most are unusual, f and proving the superfluous abilities of 'Air-Breathing' and 'Walk on Solid Surfaces'.
That is not the end-all, as if one plant a flower from the dress, it actually grows, and will grow in just about anything. The flowers produce music, and will hum to any melody within 100 meters; if they develop, they will grow a face, and eventually limns, walking about and absorbing the intellect of other life-forms for food.
Most of the items in my system are quite intricate, and can be read about in the Zoria sourcebook. My goal is to provide a story for them all in the end.
Quote from: Planet Algol;593505I can see it mechanically occurring if one was using a system that had rules for making magic items with the possibility of random results, especially if that was tied to failure on the attempt.
A boulder that detects mountains with a range of 10 meters sounds like something spat out of procedural use of random tables.
Yeah, that's pretty much the only way I could imagine it: really bad random tables, and an intransigent-GM who would take the literal results without modifications.
RPGPundit
Quote from: RPGPundit;593346Seriously? That one fucking takes the cake. Was there even any justification for why such an item would exist? Who the fuck would wake up one day and say "I'm going to make a huge ungainly item that can detect mountains; and only has a range so tiny that obviously anyone with the item would see the fucking mountain right in front of them in almost any circumstance"!?
RPGPundit
Sounds like Glorantha to me. The answer to that is a Gloranthan one - it appeared in a myth or a myth did it.
Quote from: Kaiu Keiichi;593927Sounds like Glorantha to me. The answer to that is a Gloranthan one - it appeared in a myth or a myth did it.
I guess that's slightly better than a "wizard did it" excuse, if only because the gods can be crazy.
RPGPundit
Quote from: RPGPundit;594383I guess that's slightly better than a "wizard did it" excuse, if only because the gods can be crazy.
If a god is responsible, it isn't inconceivable that it was made in anticipation of exactly how it ended up being used, as one god's way of just pissing off another god in their eternal struggle.
It's still a stupid magic item, but what's gaming without a little fanwank justification?
I'm hesitant to call this an item because of the scale of it and its MacGuffiny nature, but Disneyland in my game of Unknown Armies was designed as a massive engine meant to force itself and Walt into the Invisible Clergy as Utopia, only to be stifled by its historically disastrous opening day and decades of meddling by outside forces.
Edit: More directly germane to this was a mask of John Ritter that allowed the bearer to see the true nature of Three's Company as representative of the modern holy trinity. Madness and a tendency to whistle the opening bars of the theme song tended to follow shortly after.
Quote from: This Guy;594509I'm hesitant to call this an item because of the scale of it and its MacGuffiny nature, but Disneyland in my game of Unknown Armies was designed as a massive engine meant to force itself and Walt into the Invisible Clergy as Utopia, only to be stifled by its historically disastrous opening day and decades of meddling by outside forces.
Edit: More directly germane to this was a mask of John Ritter that allowed the bearer to see the true nature of Three's Company as representative of the modern holy trinity. Madness and a tendency to whistle the opening bars of the theme song tended to follow shortly after.
And there, in two paragraphs, why I love, and why I hate, Unknown Armies.
RPGPundit
Quote from: RPGPundit;594893And there, in two paragraphs, why I love, and why I hate, Unknown Armies.
RPGPundit
It is definitely that kind of game. I wish I could run it more but I'm a bit scared of what I'd do.