One of the guys on the Evil Avatar IRC runs a user-submitted game review site. He just linked us to this rather incoherent review of Killer7 (http://www.playitreviewit.com/reviews/gamecube/action/killer7/YisgyQDP/1), partly because he didn't know what to make of it.
QuoteRook.
Killer7 is a great step forward for games. This is not to say Killer7 is a great game. Comparative analysis gives little traction. The metrics are broken. The technology producing the experience is nothing special. The controls providing entry into the experience is nothing special. The game at the core of the experience is nothing special. But the experience is special. Like being strapped down and having your eyeballs tickled with feathers.
Vision.
Equivalent to the sin of forgetting the past is that of being too dependent on it. The possible sources for reviews is insanely large. There is print, both magazines and newspapers. Go online and you can find a fountain of contradictory opinions of varying quality and sanity. Even television and podcasts are dumping verdicts into our laps. The one thing all these sources have in common? They have no idea what to do with a game like Killer7. The critical apparatus isn't there. The comparisons to previous games become so convoluted and obscure as to be useless. Attempts at quantification are kneecapped by the game's gleeful violence towards convention. In the end, it comes down to the reviewers who hated it trying not to be overly harsh and the reviewers who loved it trying not to oversell it. Both know their failure and both attempt to ignore it, like a man in a public bathroom ashamedly slinking away from a clogged toilet.
France.
Systems are a key. Isolations mean nothing. A lightgun game without the gun. Enemies without intelligence, artificial or not. Trivial and unbalanced character leveling. Nonsensical and simplistic puzzles. Jagged and stark graphics, without even an attempt at beauty. Incoherent and crude dialogue and storytelling. Outside of its context it means nothing. Within its context it means little. Within the context created by the systems and the player it can be assembled into nearly anything. Like a judgment on a man in Texas callously using the lives of others but afraid of pilgrims armed with freedom and vision.
Kyushu.
Should Killer7 be reduced to political allegory? Freedom allows advocacy of whatever you can make persuasive, but a smile doesn't show if teeth are sharp and stars should not be handled by their edges. Control requires a delicate grasp and sometimes a balletic adaptation to momentum, just surfing chaos and falling sideways. Crowns can be constructed from any pointed object, even of roses with or without petals, but blood must go into the ground before it comes out, and fire can take the good with the bad. Post reactionary rejection of the ending, it is clear neither path is desirable, however bright, and no one seems to learn from the shadows burned on the wall. It is easy to forget how sensitive we can become in certain areas, like a hooker after a long night's work.
Kikuchiyo.
How do you characterize a man? Choices taken, traits acquired, assassinations completed? Skills integrated, souls collected, personas assumed? Ways of avoiding barriers, be it going over, going under, blowing through, or spinning into a Piledriver? As the blood accumulates and you carve out your tactics and methods, the choice between finesse and brutality emerges through the tools you use. Mind, the grave judges not the means of candle trimming, whatever the use the grave sees. Embrace all killers, shield some from the consequences of amorality, as you wish. While obstacles may frown, the inevitable mechanisms of humanity will continue to arm themselves for futility and shrug aside redirection. An antitank shell doesn't care if your hand is blocking the way, or rather, if something that was formerly a hand was blocking the way.
Ryu.
When Nintendo talks of their next console, the Revolution, they approach it from the perspective of the interface. They consider it important because of the way it opens up and changes interaction. While this is not the place to speculate on the nature of Nintendo's 'revolution', or how successful it will be, it is worth noting that even the last few years have seen major steps in interface, despite no major technological changes. The analog stick has been present for quite some time, yet only recently have we seen it used as Tiger Woods or Fight Night does. We have had dual analogs for quite some time, yet we rarely see an analogy as intuitive as Katamari Damacy. Meanwhile, the reaction to the controls of Killer7 demonstrates how rigid thinking has become. Let me be clear: the controls to Killer7 will take getting used to. They are constructed on a fundamentally different paradigm and rooted more in early dungeon crawls than modern 3D games. However, while strange, the controls accomplish their aims quite elegantly. Parts of the game would not be feasible with typical third-person controls. In most games it is obvious the experience was built around the level design. Killer7 architects the world around the experience, and the method of movement gives them almost unlimited freedom to do so. The controls for the first-person shooting elements is acceptable. There is nothing new or remarkable, but they are responsive and accurate and the differences between the characters are effectively conveyed. The hallucinatory collision of Resident Evil and Metroid Prime.
Uzume.
Marcel Proust built a massive work from his memories. An entire cycle filled with minute details, quarried from his past, with elements repeated, inverted, reinterpreted, a life as Bach fugue. Proust was a freak. Very few people can bring back the quantity of minutiae and barely-consequential tidbits necessary for ego-run-amok work. Even ego-fueled reconstruction and reinterpretation would be sorely tried, even when fortified with amphetamines. Most will be lucky to remember the key events and most important lessons of their lives, like a butterfly in a jar or a horse on the run. As individuals turn to groups then to societies and to nations lessons become more and more fluid and diffuse, like tears in rain. Messages from angels somehow become more important than the events of thirty, or even ten, years ago, and the toys go marching on. Once our constructs return to haunt us and we are forced to dispose of the products of our arrogance and greed, we find ourselves unexpectedly trapped in the roles we have created, like an origami puppet toppled and abandoned.
Rectitude.
Couldn't this be reduced to just a few words? Should you buy this game or not? Reduced to simplest form, all nuance and richness boiled away, if you want me to tell you the answers to those questions, you probably shouldn't buy the game. To enlighten, a final analogy: Killer7 is like a transsexual. Imagine a man coming home from a bar with a beautiful woman. She gives him the best head of his life. He fondles her fake tits. As he pulls down her panties he finds this model of woman comes with a bonus accessory. Some guys will just toss the bitch out right away. And some will think 'hey, two out of three holes is plenty.' Post booze-and-bacchanal some will think 'That was interesting. Let's stay away from that bar from now on.' And some will think 'That was interesting. Where can I find some more of that?'
I'm just sorry for his parents. They paid thirty thousand dollars p.a. for his college education, and that's what they ended up with.
And wahat does this have in common with Forge...?
Quote from: Fritzs;217378And wahat does this have in common with Forge...?
Overblown jargon? Personal opinions and unsubstantiated judgements dressed up in pseudo-academese and presented as fact? Deliberate obscurationism? Not making any real cohesive sense in the end? Being the mental equivalent of masturbation with sandpaper and habanero peppers?
Take your pick...
I can only pray the author was mentally handicapped, or that the author's first language was not English. That's some painful, and amusing, reading. "Systems are a key. Isolations mean nothing." Uh, right.
Quote from: Engine;217585...or that the author's first language was not English.
I'd guess this.
Seanchai
It does read rather like highly-educated Engrish.
Quote from: Engine;217595It does read rather like highly-educated Engrish.
My advice to the site host was to create a free email account, and email it to himself to see if it got blocked by the spam filter.
Sadly, as much as I've like to believe this is the result of one of those heuristic text generators, I've seen the guy posting the EvAv forum, so unless this is an elaborate prank, he's all real . . .
File under: "When Humans Fail the Turing Test."
Timecube guy turns his hand to reviews, perhaps?
An important point. We've had Ken Whitman post here, Roger Sanger, and some legendary rpg.net trolls. But not Mr. Timecube.
He does frequent forums, you know. He posted on rpg.net once, in a Timecube thread. It was spooky, man.
Wow, I missed Timecube guy actually posting on rpg.net.
I do remember the other guy who would post convoluted formulae to show how his RPG modeled reality...and he always referenced Marvel comics, too, for some reason. Gah, what was the name of that...one of the guys from rpg.net hosts his ramblings, too.
Quote from: KenHR;217626Wow, I missed Timecube guy actually posting on rpg.net.
I do remember the other guy who would post convoluted formulae to show how his RPG modeled reality...and he always referenced Marvel comics, too, for some reason. Gah, what was the name of that...one of the guys from rpg.net hosts his ramblings, too.
Hybrid guy. Oi. IIRC, RPGnet eventually instituted a ban on discussion of Hybrid, simply because discussing it invariably seemed to summon him from the internet, and the mods weren't comfortable with enabling the mentally deranged, or the mockery of such.
Hybrid guy, yes! He used to clog up Usenet with his posts, too...
That's him! Hybrid Guy!
Sorry for the confusion, Mr. Timecube.
I don't mean to summon anybody....
but I do wonder what Hybrid Guy's thoughts on 4E are.
You mean the whole Hybrid RPG thing isn't a joke?
No, he was deadly serious. I never had the perseverance to read an entire post of his, but I gathered he was convinced he had discovered a formula to model anything in reality or imagination. It was all bound up with some super secret that Stan Lee & co were putting into their comics.
...
I never quite understood what he was going for, either.
Not a joke, no--the guy is seriously mentally ill. Also, Hybrid is not *just* gibberish. People have argued that some kind of 80s-style crunchy superheroes RPG is embedded in the ramblings. IIRC he himself compared it (favorably) with Champions or Hero.
Hybrid (http://philippe.tromeur.free.fr/hybrid.htm) is awesome!
QuoteRule # 550: There are 5 parts to this rule. Based on my Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, this: {(0,0) END} is a human, usually a male human, at least in this rpg HYBRID, since women are too complicated to make in my rpg, since creating women in my rpg requires politically incorrect math, but to return to what I was saying before I digressed, is as follows: although I'm using the {(x,y) END} from Champions/Hero to illustrate a point that being {(0,0) END} ought to be for a human, usually a male human, at least in rpg HYBRID. The variable (y) which in Champions/Hero is/was meant to define LS in terms of "END" @ some fraction that of default LS, which its C# depends on the character, better to use C2, since it will give greater LS or Life Span, but less C2 PL or Power Level, if the original C# had been C1 in terms of C2 before using the ½ which will then @ C2 increase PL to 98 C2 which is NOT mutant power but what C2 value for IQ, which is NOT what IQ is @ 98, but IQ is 260 @ 98 C2, which is then reduced to get mutant power(s). If the original C# had been C1 rater than C2, #s for both being different of course, then LS @ C1 would be 10 rather than 20, if starting default LS or 0 END had been @ 20 C1, then PL would increase to 20x2 = 40 C1 rather than 49x2 = 98 C2, but LS or Life Span using C1 is ½ the C2, meaning manipulating points @ C1, gives a 10 C1 LS rather than a 49/2 = 24.5 C2, which is a 15 C1 by X^LOG10(X), where 20 C1 = 49 C2 and 15 C1 = 24 C2...
My good friend used to publish stuff like this in University. AWESOME!
Quote from: Stuart;218378Hybrid (http://philippe.tromeur.free.fr/hybrid.htm) is awesome!
All I had to do was read the quote, there isn't enough alcohol within this county to get me to read the whole set of rules if they're all like that.
Quote from: Hybrid Guywomen are too complicated to make in my rpg
That remains the best quote out of the entire mess....
Quote from: J Arcane;217597My advice to the site host was to create a free email account, and email it to himself to see if it got blocked by the spam filter.
You win a laugh point. :D
I spent a few late nights (having nothing better to do at the time) working through the Hybrid website. Not just reading it, but actually attempting to translate it... in my head at least... into something remotely useable. Like assembling a jigsaw when you KNOW there are several peices missing.
Mostly, I assume its a process of editing what he actually writes into a more coherent structure, then seeing what you've got. Its like unprocessed thought, really.
Quote from: Spike;219837I spent a few late nights (having nothing better to do at the time) working through the Hybrid website. Not just reading it, but actually attempting to translate it... in my head at least... into something remotely useable. Like assembling a jigsaw when you KNOW there are several peices missing.
Mostly, I assume its a process of editing what he actually writes into a more coherent structure, then seeing what you've got. Its like unprocessed thought, really.
With all the internal self-referencing to rules, it rather reads like a Choose Your Own Insanity book.
Holy shit it's like House of Leaves but crazier.
At least it's not as bad as the RPG whose name begins with Z. (I refuse to type it's full name, as the creator of the game regularly searches for it to defend it, PM me if you want to know)
Here's some text from it:
Quote from: ZHeal: Distribute B among T (# OF B X 4)M, and then roll B. Heal 1 damage per(# ABOVE 4) rolled on T
I can't copy and paste from the .pdf, so that's one of the simpler ability descriptions.
QuoteRule # 550: There are 5 parts to this rule. Based on my Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, this: {(0,0) END} is a human, usually a male human, at least in this rpg HYBRID, since women are too complicated to make in my rpg, since creating women in my rpg requires politically incorrect math, but to return to what I was saying before I digressed, is as follows: although I'm using the {(x,y) END} from Champions/Hero to illustrate a point that being {(0,0) END} ought to be for a human, usually a male human, at least in rpg HYBRID. The variable (y) which in Champions/Hero is/was meant to define LS in terms of "END" @ some fraction that of default LS, which its C# depends on the character, better to use C2, since it will give greater LS or Life Span, but less C2 PL or Power Level, if the original C# had been C1 in terms of C2 before using the ½ which will then @ C2 increase PL to 98 C2 which is NOT mutant power but what C2 value for IQ, which is NOT what IQ is @ 98, but IQ is 260 @ 98 C2, which is then reduced to get mutant power(s). If the original C# had been C1 rater than C2, #s for both being different of course, then LS @ C1 would be 10 rather than 20, if starting default LS or 0 END had been @ 20 C1, then PL would increase to 20x2 = 40 C1 rather than 49x2 = 98 C2, but LS or Life Span using C1 is ½ the C2, meaning manipulating points @ C1, gives a 10 C1 LS rather than a 49/2 = 24.5 C2, which is a 15 C1 by X^LOG10(X), where 20 C1 = 49 C2 and 15 C1 = 24 C2...
Nietzsche was right. God is dead.
-=Grim=-
Quote from: KrakaJak;227686At least it's not as bad as the RPG whose name begins with Z. (I refuse to type it's full name, as the creator of the game regularly searches for it to defend it, PM me if you want to know)
Zyborg Commandoes?
Zpawn of Fashan?
Z.A.T.A.L.?
ZaHoWa?
Zardoz?
Inquiring minds want to know [but fear asking].
-=Grim=-
No, I'm serious...the author is a total IP stalker.
Oh well here's a link to the file (http://zarrakan.com/FILES/ZARRAKAN.zip)
Hybrid guy is becoming a better writer (the #500 series of rules has real grammar at times) but getting crazier. I do feel bad for him, since it does appear to be a genuine mental illness.
Also, if you want to poke the anthill, ask him to explain character creation sometime.