Here's something I get really tired of at the Store:

 People that come in and want to me to answer or decide these kinds of questions for them :

"Who would win in a fight between Batman and Spiderman?"

"Who is tougher? Batman or Wolverine?"

"Could the Enterprise beat a Star Destroyer?"

"Dude, what game is better ? Dungeons & Dragons or Warhammer Fantasy?"

I am NOT the arbiter of their Geek Fights!!

Many times I've actually said in a nice voice - when I hear voices raised : "Guys!, No Geek fights or arguments Please!!" (During this past election I might have said as well : Politics is bad enough.)

A few of these times I have been able to push a product . As in: "See this? This is HEROCLIX (or VS. the card game) Both Marvel and DC heroes are covered with the same basic rules system. Find the two characters you are worried about and fight it out."  (That would mean a purchase of course)


All of the Star Wars vs. STAR TREK (STARGATE SG-1, Farscape, FIREFLY, etc) debates?
Those are different universes with sometimes wildly divergent rules of how the rules of physics for FTL , weapons etc are handled.

Too bad I'm pretty ethical - I could make some loot charging $5.00 every time someone wanted me to settle a silly Geek sub-culture debate or argument.

 I guess because I work at a Game store/Comics store 5 days a week many of these people assume I'm at least as good an authority as Stan Lee, Gary Gygax, George Lucas, Mike Grell, Jim Shooter, D.C. Fontana, Gale Anne Hurd, Sean Punch, or Gene Rodenberry.

I'm not.....I do know who all those names are tho....


- Ed C.

Hahahaha you poor bastard!

You should reply, "I don't care about that. Now let me tell you about my 25th level drowlesbianstripperninja..."

I think the correct answer is: "Get a life."

on the batman v wolverine front i'd tell them "sorry cant answer that coz there from different comic companies and batmans dead atm so its a classic unanswerable question, now if you'd like to purchase the latest issues of they're comics on the otherhand..." that'll shut em up

Bah, the answer is simple. Have a list of pat answers to the common stupid geek questions.   It doesn't matter if they are objectively right or wrong, the geeks came to you for arbitration, if they don't like your answers, tough noogies.

So:

Bat vs spider: Bat, obviously. Bats eat bugs.

Bat vs wolverine:  Wolverine. Regeration beats batarang.

Enterprise vs star destroyer: I wear a klingon suit, what do you think dumbass?

D&D vs WHFRP:  What Editions?  Then answer with: Runequest, bitches!


The more obviously biased and off the cuff your answers, the better. Feel free to substituite answers at random.  Whenever a third option presents itself you should totally take it. For example: Battlestars beat both Star Destroyers and Enterprises.  

Eventually word will get around and either they'll stop asking you OR you'll become some sort of Guru, some Geek Messiah and lead all the unwashed masses to the promised land.

Quote from: Spike;281996OR you'll become some sort of Guru, some Geek Messiah and lead all the unwashed masses to the promised land.

This option does provide for money making opportunities...

...and Jim Jones flavored kool-aid for the really annoying ones.

Quote from: jeff37923;282001This option does provide for money making opportunities...

...and Jim Jones flavored kool-aid for the really annoying ones.

OR Orange Mt. Dew Ice Cream floats...... No poison. Followers and groupies are much more fun to be around when they're alive.


- Ed C.

I'm tellin' ya, if I could get out of the basement I'd rule the world!

I mean, y'all do know you're encouraging Koltar to become a cult leader...

That's Koltar...



You understand the consequences, right? Right?

I see "Narrativist" Game developing - the goal is to become a cult leader...

Quote from: James J Skach;282018I mean, y'all do know you're encouraging Koltar to become a cult leader...

That's Koltar...



You understand the consequences, right? Right?

I see "Narrativist" Game developing - the goal is to become a cult leader...

The only negative consequence I can think of is if he doesn't try to both make money off of his cult followers or attempt to cause the mouth-breathers to commit suicide in his honor.

(Think of it, Koltar, in klingon drag doing the Thulsa Doom scene from Conan in the center of the Mall.

 He stands with arms outstretched and beckoning from the ground floor, "Come to me, child. Jump."

And then *SPLAT*, one less mouth-breather in the world.)

Quote from: jeff37923;282037Think of it, Koltar, in klingon drag

You can't stick a fork in your mind's eye...dammit...

Now that you guys made me think of it......

 I hate to seem like a "NIce Guy" again - but thats not a bad idea to raise funds for a charity.

At a convention or similisar gathering - designate 2 or 3 people as the Arbiter Of Geek Debates!. The fee would be 4 or 5 bucks to settle a "Geek Debate" or argument.  Decisions would be considered final for the duration of the weekend.  All the money would go to the con's preferred charity.


- Ed C.

Quote from: Koltar;282042Now that you guys made me think of it......

 I hate to seem like a "NIce Guy" again - but thats not a bad idea to raise funds for a charity.

At a convention or similisar gathering - designate 2 or 3 people as the Arbiter Of Geek Debates!. The fee would be 4 or 5 bucks to settle a "Geek Debate" or argument.  Decisions would be considered final for the duration of the weekend.  All the money would go to the con's preferred charity.


- Ed C.

You could make more money for charity if you turned it into a bidding war. Whoever puts up the most money wins the decision of their choice.

But you get to use this idea if you kill at least one mouth-breathing fanboy per decision (probably the one who spent the most money to win a geek fight). Of course, if they paid you more money than they just spent on winning the geek fight, you could let them live.

I'd want a percentage of all earnings.

That's like working in a stereo store and then complaining when a couple of audiophiles walk in and ask which speakers you think sound better, Infinity or Bose.

Quote from: James J Skach;282018I mean, y'all do know you're encouraging Koltar to become a cult leader...

That's Koltar...

Kultar?

And yes, I think a Nerdfury Debate for charity is an excellent idea. Next bunch of stupid questions, "these will all be settled next Saturday. Up to three people per team, present argument and rebuttal, I'll moderate, cost of entry $10, prize to winners store voucher of $50."

This will either raise money for charity, or make the annoying little dweebs go away.