I'm wondering if the other gamers here can give me some advice on getting a new gaming group going.  Here's my situation:

I'm 36 years old.  Married, with two kids.  My peer group at work isn't into it.  My FLGS is about 45 minutes away.  I'm also new to the area.

I've contemplated reaching out via message boards and/or criagslist to see if I can find other adults who might be up for attending game sessions at my place once weekly.

But this feels pretty pathetic, to be honest.

Also I feel I'd need to be pretty strict about the 'adult' only angle, as it would be at least slightly inappropriate to be bringing youngsters into the house until odd hours, etc.  Also, I'm a brew aficionado, so I'm thinking 21+.

Secretly, I'm afraid that I'm too old for games, and that such a search would prove it.

What do you guys think?

Any strategies that work well for you?

Maybe find some new people and introduce them to it. Are you part of any sports clubs or other social outlets besides work? If not can you get into some and subvert from within? Book clubs are good for that, maybe start a movie club at work, you might be surprised.

It's a good question, and I look forward to any advice you might get from people who successfully have found a new group in such circumstances.

Short answer: no you're not too old, and no it's not pathetic.  This from a well-adjusted, 35yo working adult playing with peers

I've used Gamers Seeking Gamers at EN World before with good success; met a few gamers I still play with, only one or two "duds", and no horror stories.

I highly recommend meeting in public, over lunch or coffee, before inviting anyone to your domicile, though.

I'd go for local gaming shops. Usually when I visit a new area there's a gaming shop somewhere and you can connect with the local regulars there. When I tried I found looking for players over the internet to be unreliable at best. I'd recommend playing digitally for the busy gamer now a days. I've played more games via message board and chat than live (its easier to do over multiple days while live games tend to run into grown up issues).

Hey man, I am 41 so I don't think you're too old and it's not pathetic. I play with a group slightly younger than me that I've been playing with since the late 1990s. I can imagine it could be tricky to start a new group from scratch. I'd give local game stores and internet forums a try to look for gamers in your area.

Is there a book store with a games shelf anywhere closer than the gaming store.  You can always lurk at the book store watching for victims errr gamers.

Anyhow, I'm 42 and I don't think it's pathetic.

Quote from: MGuy;589741I'd go for local gaming shops. Usually when I visit a new area there's a gaming shop somewhere and you can connect with the local regulars there. When I tried I found looking for players over the internet to be unreliable at best. I'd recommend playing digitally for the busy gamer now a days. I've played more games via message board and chat than live (its easier to do over multiple days while live games tend to run into grown up issues).

Message boards don't have the rapid speed, and can taper off. Of course in my case real life flared up, and put the kibosh on things. But it can be good at first then fade. Live is ten million times better than message board. Make that 45 minute trip and make connections. After a big lag in a steady group I fell into a group at the FLGS. It led to multiple groups, and inviting people to the house. It did eventually break up. But because of personal things. AKA real life/normal bullshit. (Long story short anyways:)) But live interaction is the way to go. It will be worth the drive. I have had ok results with finding people on the web. But live interaction is still the key. Meeting someone outside the house as someone else has said is the way. Before the formal invite to the house. If they seem a little iffy, they are. Cut your losses.

Got a local meetup.com group?  Try there, perhaps going to a couple of events or something?

I'm in a similar boat - the group has dwindled down to three total players due to people moving out of the area, or family commitments.

I've been hemming and hawing about it for a while, but I'm going to post a "lunch get-together" for some Saturday afternoon as a bit of a mixer to get to know some of the folks on the local gaming meetup group, with the understanding that we're seeking new members for our group.

Right.
46.
and not pathetic.  Done it in 4 areas when moving.
Find the local gaming stores and hangouts.  Play their games until it is obvious your games can hang with theirs, and then some.

Meetup is pretty good, but if you start a page of your own, they will eventually start charging for it.  Not terribly expensive, if I recall, but for a one-shot recruitment tool...  Signing up and browsing is free, though, and you can join other groups for free as well.

I thought NearbyGamers would have been defunct by now, but there is some activity recently.  Pretty good coverage for the larger cities, fair to middling for smaller cities.  Worth checking out.

Quote from: mcbobboI'm wondering if the other gamers here can give me some advice on getting a new gaming group going. Here's my situation:

I'm 36 years old. Married, with two kids. My peer group at work isn't into it. My FLGS is about 45 minutes away. I'm also new to the area.

I've contemplated reaching out via message boards and/or criagslist to see if I can find other adults who might be up for attending game sessions at my place once weekly.

But this feels pretty pathetic, to be honest.

Also I feel I'd need to be pretty strict about the 'adult' only angle, as it would be at least slightly inappropriate to be bringing youngsters into the house until odd hours, etc. Also, I'm a brew aficionado, so I'm thinking 21+.

Secretly, I'm afraid that I'm too old for games, and that such a search would prove it.

What do you guys think?

Any strategies that work well for you?

Never feel ashamed of enjoying your hobbies. You like what you like, and you're in good company on a site like this. Don't worry about looking "pathetic". Embrace what makes you happy, and then you'll be fine. The gamers on this site have an age range from their twenties to their fifties, so you're probably not too old to enjoy yourself. All the people in my gaming group are older than you are, and they're all responsible adults who game. Why should kids have all the fun?

There are sites with other people looking to game:

http://www.penandpapergames.com/

http://www.meetup.com/ (look for games/roleplaying games)

I don't know much about meetup, but my group found some gamers via penandpapergames a few years ago, and it went pretty well. It never hurts to try....

Seriously, don't think "pathetic," think "my hobby." I mean, my daughter likes taking all sorts of photographs with weird lighting and, eventually, photoshop effects. I think it's silly a bit, but, she's happy, so why annoy her about it? Helps her relax and concentrate on her university studies.

I'm 37 (soon 38!), and I've used message boards or mailing lists to gather groups in all three countries I've lived in (US, Japan, Hungary, for the record). So, I don't think this is a bad way to get folks' attention. You've got to vet them of course, but once you meet and like, say, 2-3, they'll inevitably suggest other friends they have (either new to gaming or veterans) who might want to join, and you'll easily get your 4-5 players.

It does help if you're the primary GM (so, I pitch games and folks want to join), but I don't see why you couldn't do it as a player (on the main rpg message board here in Hungary, I often see adds for groups of players looking for a GM).

Quote from: kythri;589765Got a local meetup.com group?  Try there, perhaps going to a couple of events or something?

I'm in a similar boat - the group has dwindled down to three total players due to people moving out of the area, or family commitments.

I've been hemming and hawing about it for a while, but I'm going to post a "lunch get-together" for some Saturday afternoon as a bit of a mixer to get to know some of the folks on the local gaming meetup group, with the understanding that we're seeking new members for our group.

The Boston meet up has both an RPG and a d&d chapter.   They do ok.  This one is a good idea.

Oh, and you never know what you'll fond on the rpgsite.  If you end up near Boston, you can probably work your way into Bedrocks, sac lambs, or even my games.  I know there were a few more....