So, if you've watched tonight's Inappropriate Character's show, we made a meme... a giant, transdimensional spider jacking-off and then jacking-off the wizard who blew his arachnid mind with power and sorcery.
Anyway, I want folks to participate in a d100 random table called Spider-Jack. No pics, BTW! But put in whatever erotic, sexy, or pornographic spider-related table results as you want! Bonus points if it's Cha'alt related!!!
I'll go first...
1) The dimensional spider-woman hybrid jacks you off into her 8 tiny mouths, each wanting a drop of anti-hero juice.
2) A spider sorcerer casts wizard mark, creating an arachnoid tramp stamp on whatever THOT happens to catch the spider sorcerer's fancy.
3) An inter-dimensional spider teaches you the 8-legged jack technique.
4) The RPG Pundit regrets ever meeting Venger Satanis.
69) That's a spider-jack critical... everyone in the area gets a surprise, non-consensual robot-spider orgasm!
________
After Valentine's Day (when this group project will conclude), I'll send it to my layout guy and self-publish it for free on DTRPG and whatever platform will have it.
Thank you,
VS
(5) "The spider slowly and cautiously makes its way toward you. With one appendage it hands you a clown mask, another appendage gently places itself on your lips. You hear "shush. Put this on and I'll honk your horn."
(6) As you wrap your arms around the prostitute, desire and excitement overload your senses, and the wall of the 60-minute Motel on the outer ring of Alpha Blue explodes. A Chartreuse-colored spider bursts through with a camera and a sound crew. It shouts "Surprise Mother Fucker! You're our next contestant on Zorn Chub!"
Quote from: lordmatteus on February 11, 2024, 10:13:58 PM
(5) "The spider slowly and cautiously makes its way toward you. With one appendage it hands you a clown mask, another appendage gently places itself on your lips. You hear "shush. Put this on and I'll honk your horn."
(6) As you wrap your arms around the prostitute, desire and excitement overload your senses, and the wall of the 60-minute Motel on the outer ring of Alpha Blue explodes. A Chartreuse-colored spider bursts through with a camera and a sound crew. It shouts "Surprise Mother Fucker! You're our next contestant on Zorn Chub!"
Holy fuck! This whole thing just may be a better idea than
Crimson Escalation...
7) Ziggy plays it left-hand, and the sex spiders from Mars devour the band... sexually. Oh yeah, there was a dirty glam-rock musical group hanging about in the alcove. You must've missed them due to the spider-jacking all over the place.
8 ) The sexy woman slides up to you, whispering quietly in your ear "So, you've watched Wicked City....?"
Quote from: aganauton on February 12, 2024, 10:41:03 AM
8 ) The sexy woman slides up to you, whispering quietly in your ear "So, you've watched Wicked City....?"
Does Wicked City have spiders in it? What is Wicked City? Is that a D&D thing, TV show, movie, or what?
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 10:57:22 AM
Quote from: aganauton on February 12, 2024, 10:41:03 AM
8 ) The sexy woman slides up to you, whispering quietly in your ear "So, you've watched Wicked City....?"
Does Wicked City have spiders in it? What is Wicked City? Is that a D&D thing, TV show, movie, or what?
I thought that you smoking pot and watching Wicked City is how you came up with Cha'alt.
https://gogoanime.dev/wicked-city-dub-episode-1
You walk into the room, your footsteps slosh and slip. You can feel your socks moisten as the liquid seeps in. In the ceiling are d10+3 Spider-Jack Gooners, edging each other. They're making fun of one of the one that blew his load. They end their chortle when noticing you and request that you join or they'll kill you witnessing them.
You are contacted by a Spider Lawyer, who is requesting that you pay your child support for your 258 children. It is revealed to you that one night, during a wet dream, you fertilized the eggs of Ms. Ronna MacDa'anies. She is a first time mother who is just trying to make ends meet, and her boyfriend, Kirk La'ard, is pushing for her to take you to court.
Quote from: BadApple on February 12, 2024, 02:47:34 PM
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 10:57:22 AM
Quote from: aganauton on February 12, 2024, 10:41:03 AM
8 ) The sexy woman slides up to you, whispering quietly in your ear "So, you've watched Wicked City....?"
Does Wicked City have spiders in it? What is Wicked City? Is that a D&D thing, TV show, movie, or what?
I thought that you smoking pot and watching Wicked City is how you came up with Cha'alt.
https://gogoanime.dev/wicked-city-dub-episode-1
At the time that I thought up, wrote, and self-published the first
Cha'alt book, I hadn't smoked pot for about 20 years. And I've never seen Wicked City.
Quote from: PaddysParlorGames on February 12, 2024, 03:42:45 PM
You walk into the room, your footsteps slosh and slip. You can feel your socks moisten as the liquid seeps in. In the ceiling are d10+3 Spider-Jack Gooners, edging each other. They're making fun of one of the one that blew his load. They end their chortle when noticing you and request that you join or they'll kill you witnessing them.
You are contacted by a Spider Lawyer, who is requesting that you pay your child support for your 258 children. It is revealed to you that one night, during a wet dream, you fertilized the eggs of Ms. Ronna MacDa'anies. She is a first time mother who is just trying to make ends meet, and her boyfriend, Kirk La'ard, is pushing for her to take you to court.
Yes!
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 05:14:31 PM
Quote from: BadApple on February 12, 2024, 02:47:34 PM
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 10:57:22 AM
Quote from: aganauton on February 12, 2024, 10:41:03 AM
8 ) The sexy woman slides up to you, whispering quietly in your ear "So, you've watched Wicked City....?"
Does Wicked City have spiders in it? What is Wicked City? Is that a D&D thing, TV show, movie, or what?
I thought that you smoking pot and watching Wicked City is how you came up with Cha'alt.
https://gogoanime.dev/wicked-city-dub-episode-1
At the time that I thought up, wrote, and self-published the first Cha'alt book, I hadn't smoked pot for about 20 years. And I've never seen Wicked City.
Dude, it was a joke.
That said, Wicked City is a Japanese horror story that has at least three different media releases. The opening scene of the anime movie is very famous as the lead ends in bed with a woman that turns into spider lady, goes out the window, and crawls down the side of the apartment building. It's one part horror, one part detective story, and one part psychedelic fantasy trip. If you watch either the anime movie or the live action movie, I think you'll see how there's more than a passing similarity between it and your own published works.
Quote from: BadApple on February 12, 2024, 05:42:18 PM
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 05:14:31 PM
Quote from: BadApple on February 12, 2024, 02:47:34 PM
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 10:57:22 AM
Quote from: aganauton on February 12, 2024, 10:41:03 AM
8 ) The sexy woman slides up to you, whispering quietly in your ear "So, you've watched Wicked City....?"
Does Wicked City have spiders in it? What is Wicked City? Is that a D&D thing, TV show, movie, or what?
I thought that you smoking pot and watching Wicked City is how you came up with Cha'alt.
https://gogoanime.dev/wicked-city-dub-episode-1
At the time that I thought up, wrote, and self-published the first Cha'alt book, I hadn't smoked pot for about 20 years. And I've never seen Wicked City.
Dude, it was a joke.
That said, Wicked City is a Japanese horror story that has at least three different media releases. The opening scene of the anime movie is very famous as the lead ends in bed with a woman that turns into spider lady, goes out the window, and crawls down the side of the apartment building. It's one part horror, one part detective story, and one part psychedelic fantasy trip. If you watch either the anime movie or the live action movie, I think you'll see how there's more than a passing similarity between it and your own published works.
Cool. I'll add it to the list. I was 50/50 on whether you were joking or not. I read a brief summary online and it said something about her being a demon woman, but if she'd kind of a spider, then that works!
Thank you, hoss.
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 06:49:47 PM
Quote from: BadApple on February 12, 2024, 05:42:18 PM
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 05:14:31 PM
Quote from: BadApple on February 12, 2024, 02:47:34 PM
Quote from: VengerSatanis on February 12, 2024, 10:57:22 AM
Quote from: aganauton on February 12, 2024, 10:41:03 AM
8 ) The sexy woman slides up to you, whispering quietly in your ear "So, you've watched Wicked City....?"
Does Wicked City have spiders in it? What is Wicked City? Is that a D&D thing, TV show, movie, or what?
I thought that you smoking pot and watching Wicked City is how you came up with Cha'alt.
https://gogoanime.dev/wicked-city-dub-episode-1
At the time that I thought up, wrote, and self-published the first Cha'alt book, I hadn't smoked pot for about 20 years. And I've never seen Wicked City.
Dude, it was a joke.
That said, Wicked City is a Japanese horror story that has at least three different media releases. The opening scene of the anime movie is very famous as the lead ends in bed with a woman that turns into spider lady, goes out the window, and crawls down the side of the apartment building. It's one part horror, one part detective story, and one part psychedelic fantasy trip. If you watch either the anime movie or the live action movie, I think you'll see how there's more than a passing similarity between it and your own published works.
Cool. I'll add it to the list. I was 50/50 on whether you were joking or not. I read a brief summary online and it said something about her being a demon woman, but if she'd kind of a spider, then that works!
Thank you, hoss.
Sorry Venger, I should have provided a bit of context for that one. I had just got home from day 3 of a 4 day run of 12 hours shifts, wasn't exactly awake.
Thanks Bad Apple for providing the context.
(https://fantasyanime.com/anime/images/wickedcity/wickedcity_shot04.jpg)
Definitely see Wicked City! 👍🏻
#9 (What # are you up to?): A giant, robotic spider with the preserved head of Bea Arthur crashes through a wall, singing her song from the Cha'alt Yu'ul-Tithe Special. She will leap onto and try to pin one of the PCs, attempting arachnid-robotic fornication. The PC gets advantage on rolls to escape if he/she severs one of their own limbs to escape, much like a trapped animal. If unable to escape, in 1d4 days the PC will hatch 1d100 tiny robotic spiders with tiny human heads. The player must choose for their character to have either permanent arachnophobia or an arachnophilia fetish.
#10?: A humanoid NPC villain flips open a chunky wrist gadget and is immediately clothed in a spandex, vaguely spider-reminiscent costume that flies through the air and somehow dresses this person. "Supa'aidaman" has the proprtionate strength of a spider, cannot be surpised, can shoot a viscous substance (heh) that's really, REALLY sticky, climb on any surface, and can also ride a motorcycle or giant transformable mecha because.. Japan.
https://i.imgur.com/2i0YnKm.gif
11) One giant, female, fuchsia-furred spider performs a mating ritual involving eviscerated humanoids, arachnoid glyphs, and banana peels. Moments later, an even bigger, male and extremely horny, chartreuse-furred spider climbs out of an interdimensional portal. He hands out blindfolds for everyone else in the room since he doesn't want to be watched while he gets down to biz-niz.
Those banana peels could be the remants of the male spider's Banana Men fluffers. These spiders waste nothing. They are committed to sustainability and are members of the MELLVOD (Make Everything Look Like Venus Once Did) movement.
Quote from: RoJoGamer on February 15, 2024, 01:50:58 PM
Those banana peels could be the remants of the male spider's Banana Men fluffers. These spiders waste nothing. They are committed to sustainability and are members of the MELLVOD (Make Everything Look Like Venus Once Did) movement.
12) Banana-men fluffers exit their own personal transdimensional portals in order to jack-off all the giant, horny spiders hiding in the shadows with their greasy, slick, banana-peel hands and/or tentacles.
13) Banana-men slaves and even a few anti-slavery spiders are protesting, the most prominent hold-up signs with MELLNVOD on them (Make Everything Look Like New-Venus Once Did)... harkening back to when New-Venus didn't have the draconian slavery laws implemented only a decade ago.
14) A sky-elf artisan is selling custom-made worm-skin condoms to New-Venusian spiders so they don't get the female humanoid population of Cha'alt pregnant with half-spider babies. They sky-elf is wearing a t-shirt that reads, "I blast cactus-folk on sight." [cactus-folk easily poke holes in worm-skin condoms, rendering them useless]
15) What appears to be a large spider drops from the ceiling. It is actually a very lithe and athletic elf woman with Mummenschanzarachnia. She believes herself to be a spider, and performs a bizarre dance resembling the movements of a spider. She will attempt to eat any large insects or "web them," which is really just her golden showering any small target. If she can be cured of her dementia, she will make a very competent, very bendy companion.
16) A gym bag reeking of stale sweat, bleach and graham crackers is found nearby. It contains: several very dry washcloths that appear stuck together; a Spinner Video store membership card bearing the name Harry Spiedermann; a VHS copy of the X-rated feature, "Little Miss Muff-It;" a worn, dogeared copy of "Eight-Legged Show" (a stroke mag for spider leg fetishists); and a pair of steel gray Crocs of spider climbing. These allow the wearer to walk on and cling to any surface, but bestows no benefit if the wearer wears socks with their Crocs.
17) A robed priest enters the room, raises a hand to give the sign of the horns, and says... "The spider jizz must flow!" At that point, the PCs can hear the sounds of rushing water.
18) A giant new-Venusian spider exits a portal and starts jacking it in full view of the PCs.
19) A dirty and disheveled vagrant shows up and gives a chilling message in a strange, reverberating voice:
"I've got a message for you, and you're not going to like it."
The man's filthy overcoat opens to reveal many hundreds of spiders as he speaks again.
"Pray for death!"
The man's head falls off, and his body starts coming apart, as if consumed by, or composed of spiders, who eventually scuttle away. Only a pool of filthy spider ejaculate remains.
20) The PCs are instantly transported to a small pocket dimension. They see a large male drider in garish women's club clothing, twerking and reciting stories to a group of terrified children kept captive in a web. This creature is Lewdth*, Demon Drag Queen of Darkness.
* The name "Lewdth" is pronounced by making a retching sound, as if you vomited in your mouth a little bit out of pure revulsion.
Bro, I need you at this year's VENGER CON...
Thanks! I'm already booked! We need to find more demented souls. Scour the web!
21) One of the PCs can now shoot organic webbing. However, the character's new spinneret organs are located slightly above the buttocks, requiring the character to drop drawers and fire backwards. There is a bondage shop located in A'agrybah that sells assless chaps that would be ideal for this purpose.
22) The party is attacked by humanoids wearing hooded, waterproof ponchos, armed with Supersoaker rifles filled with warm spider splooge. These attacks only do 1 point of damage on a hit, but the attackers make called shots to the face and yell, "MONEY SHOT!" A successful called shot also causes disadvantage to the victim for 1d4 rounds due to sticky eyelids. There is a 50% chance someone is recording this and will upload images and video to Pa'anhub or zHamster.
23) The party discovers a wall mural or carvings similar to the Nazca line spider image on Earth. However, the image here clearly depicts the spider as having a giant dong that is being fellated by an eager stick figure person.
24) One of the PCs somehow becomes fused with four mechanical appendages that may be controlled. The character can now lift 4X as much, gets extra attacks [GM discretion] and can wipe in the bathroom while performing other tasks.
25) A pale, bald humanoid wearing a black raincoat with a sticker that reads "Property of The Spacing Guild... or The Guild" enters the room. He's offering a pair of "cumbrella" eye protectors for 1 talon. Under his breath, he keeps muttering "You're gonna need it."
26) A dimensional rift has torn through, showing an alien world saturated with deep-blue illumination where humanoids are hunted by gigantic spiders with psionic powers that can phase in and out of reality. The only safety for the poor bastards trapped on Meta'abeelis-3 are dirty puppet-shows where DIY spiders made out of puff balls, pipe-cleaners, and black paint take turns violently humping ordinary household items.
27) Spider Buka'ake! The filthiest whore of Cha'alt is surrounded by a thousand spiders of all shapes and sizes who take turns jacking on her. At this point, the woman looks like she's already gone several rounds with the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man... and lost.
28) The party burst through the door, in the room they see a bunch of big grotesque old spiders dancing in a circle holding legs, chanting: "Old Hooker Thumper, sat on her bumper, drinking her ice cold brew, up walked a spider, with a red swollen member, could I weave a pearly necklace for you."
Cumbrellas! Love it. They should be like the Blade Runner ones that light up.
29) Wherever the PCs are, walls or nearby terrain suddenly flip around to reveal a game show set with a live audience. Spotlights shine on the characters from nowhere, and jocular host Harve S. Ma'an* tells them that they are now contestants on: "SUCCESS OR SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!" They must compete along with at least one other contestant. They must answer questions to win prizes and stay in the game. Wrong answers lead to a surprise, which could be anything from a pie in the face to solo, unarmed combat with a giant, horny space-spider. [Secondary roll table encouraged.] One NPC contestant should die first in the most gruesome way imaginable, accompanied by loud applause. Attempting to flee only teleports the character back to their seat.
*Harve S. Ma'an is in reality a powerful, sadistic extradimensional being. Audience members are humanoids from various worlds who just signed up to be in a gameshow audience.
30) A long-haired man in a skintight black costume is seen flying and battling a giant mechanical spider. He rips it apart with his bare hands, proceeds to rub one out while hovering over the wreckage and then flies away.
31) "Pimpdaddy Longlegs," purveyor of prostitutes arrives and offers to hook the PCs up with some "..Grade A-A Spider-Poon. That's TWO A's.. for Arachnid Ass!" He will not accept money directly, and says to pay "The Girls" because he's an "independent contractor."
32) Lieutenant John Rashsack of the Federation "Ribnecks Squad" arrives with a contingent of soldiers. He extends his prosthetic arm in friendship and asks if you want to join up to end the Arachnid Menace. He says they approached another group, but they said they didnt want to ally themselves with "a bunch of fascists who murder migrant extraterrestrials."
"It's a call to arms! We need all hands on deck! I'm not going out on a limb by saying we have to amputate this force and sever them from any reinforcements!:
Quote from: RoJoGamer on February 19, 2024, 01:21:54 PM
29) Wherever the PCs are, walls or nearby terrain suddenly flip around to reveal a game show set with a live audience. Spotlights shine on the characters from nowhere, and jocular host Harve S. Ma'an* tells them that they are now contestants on: "SUCCESS OR SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!" They must compete along with at least one other contestant. They must answer questions to win prizes and stay in the game. Wrong answers lead to a surprise, which could be anything from a pie in the face to solo, unarmed combat with a giant, horny space-spider. [Secondary roll table encouraged.] One NPC contestant should die first in the most gruesome way imaginable, accompanied by loud applause. Attempting to flee only teleports the character back to their seat.
*Harve S. Ma'an is in reality a powerful, sadistic extradimensional being. Audience members are humanoids from various worlds who just signed up to be in a gameshow audience.
Lol, that should happen pretty much every session. I love it, hoss!
The whole Squid Games/Running Man/Total Carnage/Most Dangerous Game (maybe not as many people know that last one nowadays) thing is big now. Maybe it can go in that direction too. Squirting Man Game? You have to run a gauntlet pursued by people with bad haircuts who want to nut on you. I'd run! This would be HUGE in Japan.
Quote from: RoJoGamer on February 20, 2024, 01:11:53 AM
The whole Squid Games/Running Man/Total Carnage/Most Dangerous Game (maybe not as many people know that last one nowadays) thing is big now. Maybe it can go in that direction too. Squirting Man Game? You have to run a gauntlet pursued by people with bad haircuts who want to nut on you. I'd run! This would be HUGE in Japan.
That's giving me ideas... I might be able to turn that into 2 or 3 results. I've started the process of writing it up and editing as I go. By the time I hit 100, I should also be done with
The Cha'alt Experience, so thinking of including it in that. And everyone who contributed will get a free PDF, and if they already helped fund it via the Kickstarter, they can get another PDF for free.
How does that sound?
Sounds super awesome.
33) A fine, hooded cloak is found, woven of New-Venusian space-spider silk. It provides the benefit of light armor, but is as supple as a young* porn starlet's bottom.
*Whose age record is kept on file along with photos of politicans seen with this woman before her age record was kept on file.
34) An unopened bag of Cummy Spiders is found. No, not gummy spiders.
35) In the distance, a giant gorilla is having a fierce battle with a giant space-spider. Just when the ape is pinned and all seems lost, it slides out from underneath the huge arachnid, jumps onto it and proceeds to go to town on it, right in the no-no spot. You didn't know spiders could scream. That terrifying sound* will haunt you.. forever.
*The GM should attempt to make the sound, a combination of clearing your throat and the high-pitched wail of a very upset infant.
I think I'm going to cap this random table at a d30, then take the best results, and include it in my upcoming PDF, The Cha'alt Experience... probably my blog, as well.
Thanks for participating, everyone!
VS