Complete side track story to follow:
Ok talking about Israel here has stirred some memories, and especially the night we (me and 4-5 other guys in my department from the Ship) were in the bar by the docks in Israel. The story I will attempt to tell here to maybe lighten the mood/sidetrack/allow me to wallow in memory.
First, why were were in a dockside dive bar on the bad side of Haifa, Israel. A couple friends and I had watched a movie at a mall (Mask, with Carrey, it was turrible) and we were walking along the road to see what we ran across. As mentioned Israel has some narrow spots and as I remember Haifa seemed fairly small in a square mileage sense, and we figured sooner or later we would end up at some bar or place to hang out and maybe get a bite to eat. It was night and we walked along the road and saw a couple guys we knew on a patio at a bar having a beer. We also noticed we were by the water and these were the bars that were explicitly mentioned in the POD (plan of the day) for us to avoid. We decide what harm can a couple beers on the patio do? So we walked over and had a few beers and moved inside the bar. The place was a dive, big time. It actually had a trio of house prostitutes working there, one with the body of a 20 year old and the face of a 50 year old, another who was....a bit heavy for my taste, and another who looked to be about 8 months pregnant. I remember talking a bit to one of the ladies (hardbody with old lady face) and she was pleasant, but I already knew the price tag for the ladies' time (about 8 bucks, as then the shekel was 3 to a dollar) and I have never cared for prostitution. Now, I can not say I have some high minded moral objection, but we had been to Turkey a week or so before this and they have brothels (Israel does as well, more on that later) and many of the women working in the brothels in Turkey are working off an imprisoned husbands sentence or debt (not paying a debt lands you in prison over there back then) and to me it is a sad situation.
Any way, the lady who was talking to us ends up keeping company with another fellow who is in the bar. He is a merchant marine and 100 percent the image that would taint all Americans if anyone came into contact with him. He constantly bragged loudly about how much money he made, how much money he had while very drunk, quite fat, and all the things we was going to do to the working lady (for simplicity sake I will call her Disa). Here again, I say do as you will, but the level of disrespect this guy was putting on a prostitute was IMO out of line. In any event some fellow comes into the Bar. I do not know his nationality (Israel is diverse, and lots of people are blonde and blue eyed), but he spoke hebrew and russian and we were guessing he might be an immigrant from russia. He was taking the loudmouthed merchant Marine's comments (I will call him dipshit from here on out) extremely personally. I do not know if he new Disa or not, he looked to be around 20, was tall and thin and blonde haired and blue eyed. She was much darker complexion, do not know if she was Arabic or Sephardic Jewish but I felt pretty sure they were not related.
So this goes on for a bit with dipshit trying to humiliate disa, and the blonde kid (I will call him ruskie from here on out) getting very agitated. Finally, disa basically tells dipshit there will be no pay for play; we step forward and calm dipshit down and he sits and drinks his beer and disa goes over to the bar talking to ruskie. I decide I am hungry, so i go out to the gyro guy who is set up near the bar patio. Well I am lost in my thin sliced lamb and tazeeki (bad spelling I know) sauce and just as I finish, disa come running out to the gyro trailer and snatches a carving knife off the rack, a knife with a 20" blade. She is screaming in what I guess was Hebrew and swinging side to side like she plans to kill someone. I was a few feet away, so i get the fuck out of her reach wondering WTF is going on. Well dipshit is coming toward the door shouting something. Ruskie decides he has had enough and he and dipshit start to fight. As all these drunken things look, it was a mess. We are enjoying the spectacle while making sure to stay clear of the shortsword wielding hooker. Then, probably one of the most humorous things I have ever seen happens. Ruskie drops a bit and throws a straight cross at dipshit's midsection. He hits him right on the belly button and dipshit's pants immediately pop open and the pressure of holding back his flabalanche cause his pants to unzip and fall to his ankles all in what looked like one motion. He is standing in the door of the bar, chasing ruskie out the door with the baby steps caused by his current condition in his whitie tighties. The sight of a man with his pants around his ankles still trying to fight and pursue another dude had me in tears laughing. They engage a bit more at a crowded table (full of Russian soldiers and sailors) and dipshit lands a solid punch KTFO'ing ruskie outright. At this point I step in and restrain dipshit from doing any more damage as he is trying to both pull up his pants and hit his fallen foe. My other buds convince dipshit it might be best to leave, disa gets the wobbly russian kid up and takes him around the other side of the building. A guy at the table, his name was Sergey, I remember that because he introduced himself and asked me my name. He said I did the right thing and said I deserved a "BUTTWIDER immediately MY FRIEND", and bought be a nice $4.5 bud (insane dive bar price for an import). Before i could tell him I hate bud I had one in my hand and was drinking it. This was a serious situation, because were expressly forbidden from any interaction with Russian military or nationals for that matter under all circumstances. I will tell more later if I dont get into trouble for derailing.