James Desborough sounding suicidal. Can somebody that knows him find him ASAP!

[Warthur]

It's pretty clear to me that GRIM has a somewhat self-destructive personality. That's pretty much the only reason i can think of that he persists with stuff that i'm fairly sure he knows will get him into hot-water.

To a large extent, I think it's because of the sheer number of people who don't do this:

If someone's making a game you don't like, ignore them.

GRIM has always struck me, ever since I first became aware of his work, as the sort of guy who goes after controversy for controversy's sake, and his products have all reflected that one way or another. There'll always be an audience for people who are willing to do that.

At the same time, he doesn't seem to be able to turn the controversy off and step down a gear, and he's particularly prone to use a shotgun where a scalpel will do. His Privilege Check game, for instance, came across as being far too clumsy for the sort of satire he was claiming it was and crossed a whole bunch of lines for me because he failed to keep the crosshairs of his satire on the target he claimed to be aiming at.

He also doesn't seem to know when to pick his fights. This whole #GamerGate thing, for instance, is so infested to the gills with 4chan trolls with gross agendas (as the IRC logs of their internal planning sessions demonstrate) that the first thing anyone who wants to talk about gaming with any credibility should do is back the hell away from that whole cause, because saying "I'm a GamerGater" is effectively saying either "I'm a duplicitous asshole who pretends to be interested in journalistic ethics but uses this as an excuse to scream abuse at women who make games and videos I don't like" or "I'm an utter dupe who's been convinced by one of those assholes that this movement has some sort of legitimacy", and neither of those stances really suggests you're much worth listening to.

[ArrozConLeche]

Somebody randomly asked me for his contact info this morning, I was like "Fuck that guy"--had no idea it had to do with potential suicide.

I really do not like James Desborough. But if Paul Ettin and company are so worried about him here's what he could say to help Des feel like he lives in a world worth living in:

"That time Ben Lehman lied and say you were threatening to rape people? I'm sorry that I encouraged that. That was shitty, that was over the line."

I doubt any of the people involved will ever do that, though, that would be admitting that they took the wrong path.

If someone's making a game you don't like, ignore them. If you can't ignore them, talk to them about the game, if you can't talk to them, talk to other people about the game. But don't make up shit to try to ruin their lives. Because you might, y'know, ruin their lives.

Co-signed

[danbuter]

Talk about a tempest in a teacup.

[Nexus]

Well....because he loves what he's doing?

Yeah, I mean wouldn't giving up doing what you're doing or what they claim your doing be giving your attackers exactly what they want?

[Anon Adderlan]

If something i love doing ends up hurting me, i generally stop doing it.

Love doesn't work that way.

[trechriron]

James should stop worrying about the SJW/RPG.net crowd. Stop responding to it. Just focus on what you like to do, and don't worry about the haters.

This is going to end up being a "throw the baby out with the bathwater" scenario.

Don't focus on the detractors, focus on your fans. Keep making stuff you like. People who like the same stuff will like it. If you have a passion for it, then people will generally see that in your work. They become fans. The screaming detractors eventually get bored and move on to a more "responsive" target.

Right now we hate men, Christopher Columbus, imperialism, and any slight foray into a potentially oppressive situation that involves women in any capacity (BDSM, Porn, erotic fiction...) regardless of the will of the participants (you are being oppressed, brainwashed, pressured into agreeing with your marginalized and abused situation...). You are not allowed to present hypothetical or philosophical opinions as the basis of your thoughts on the subject. You can either fall into line and follow your NEW masters or be sentenced to the pyre. Like all fantastically engineered tyrannies, you will do as your told or suffer the consequences.

Fuck the Tyrants. Next year it will be about submissive and marginalized men in BDSM or gay porn, we'll be hating on Abe Lincoln for his obviously Muslim grooming standards, and pissing on Democracy because "it doesn't work". There will be a new crowd of Tyrants trying desperately to usurp the previous ones.

It's the same fucking story humanity has fought each other since the beginning of time. Someone wants to be Chief or Queen because the current one sucks, because #power. We are fighting our tribal battles in a virtual space now instead of the physical one. If some asshole can reach across the InterTubes with some mean words and make you off yourself, then #battlewon. You have a perfect defense.

Ignore them. #battleover

Peace out.

[Spinachcat]

Don't focus on the detractors, focus on your fans.

Hell yeah!

[gonster]

The problem is, as someone who is clinically depressed, thinking that GRIM can do anything about it.

That is why he has been diagnosed with depression.  He cannot do what a normal person would do. He can't do what you say.

I cannot do what you say.

And I almost always have a moment of clarity, just before diving off the deep end, where I say in my head, "This is a bad idea.  You shouldn't be doing this," just before I do THAT EXACT THING.

[GRIM]

Thank you for the words of support, from those who gave them. I'm tired of explaining myself to those who didn't. I have no idea what I did to earn Zak's wrath but I will continue to have his and Pundit's back despite whatever disagreements we might otherwise have. I have seen Zak and Mandy are under attack again, this time by Arthur Chu and I'm sure they would appreciate your support in the face of shitty lies about them, much as I have.

I did hurt myself, though fortunately not too severely - not for wont of trying. In this instance, people's panic and reaction was warranted and I think this is the only time anyone I have known has actually been happy to have the police knock on the door.

I'm trying to take a step back for a while, as much as is possible, and I'm going away next week (if I'm well) which should give me some space to recover more.

(Though I'm already bored out of my mind from not working).

Thanks again to those who have been supportive.

You can't give up what you love, even when it hurts you.

G

[JonWake]

Hey dude, I don't know you from Adam, but I lost both my parents to suicide.

You do what you have to do to reconnect to the world.

[trechriron]

The problem is, as someone who is clinically depressed, thinking that GRIM can do anything about it.

...

I also suffer from depression. I feel ya. I'm not offering support in the "just be happier" sort of way. I'm offering support in the "fuck those guys, they don't understand, just do your best" sort of way. GRIM will do something about it. Just like we have. We take our meds, we stay active, we talk, we fight our inner-demons. We keep trying.

Thank you for the words of support, from those who gave them. ...

You can't give up what you love, even when it hurts you.

G

I hope you feel better soon. I know it's a struggle. Maybe focusing on writing and creating and getting away from the Toxic Social Media landscape that the gaming industry has become would be wise. Don't let hateful people ruin you. Hang in there James.

[Just Another Snake Cult]

Machinations of the Space Princess (The SF RPG JD did) was very cool and deserved a bigger audience.

Admittedly it's my only exposure to his work, but it did not in any way seem like the work of a pervert racist sleezeball just out to shock.

[Melan]

James - I can't say I am a fan of your work, but that's just how things are. Not important. What's important is that you are well, and this shitty Internet war did not destroy you. I sincerely hope you can find a way to put things behind you, and find something to help you refocus and recover.

Stay well, and stay safe.

[One Horse Town]

You can't give up what you love, even when it hurts you.

G

First off, i'm glad you're safe.

To clarify what i meant, i wasn't suggesting you give up writing games! I meant the courting controversy aspect of your writing.

[Premier]

James, good to hear you're alive and you didn't let some lesser "men" destroy you with their malice and pettiness. Step back, take a breather, maybe do something else you enjoy for a short while. And remember that the best revenge is living a good life.