Fantasy Uruguay

[RPGPundit]

Well I'll be damned... not being a big fan of Steven Seagal; ok, ok, let me rephrase that: Thinking Steven Seagal to be a fucking joke, I had not been paying much attention to his latest projects.
 
But today I recieved some info about his newest film, a movie called "Submerged".  Apparently it deals with a nuclear sub and some kind of superweapon, stolen by a corrupt third world dictator in an evil terrorist-haven banana republic.
 
Only that banana republic is supposedly Uruguay!  Apparently, in Seagal-world, Uruguay is not only ruled by an evil dictator, but it also is a founding member of the "Axis of Evil", capable of holding all of america hostage!
 
Oh but that's not all. Apparently there are also Mayan ruins down here!  I must have missed them on my last trip to the countryside.
 
Not to mention all the fields full of sheep with lovely blonde milkmaids watching over them. And street signs in cyrillic alphabet.  This all seems even wierder than the Mayan ruin stuff, until you realize that the movie was filmed in Bulgaria!
 
What the fuck?! Why Bulgaria? Are you seriously telling me that these stupid fucks couldn't at least find a single latin country to film in? I'd understand why the Uruguayan government would tell them to go sodomize themselves with a spoon if they tried to film in Montevideo. But wouldn't Chile let them in?  Costa Rica? Guyana? Hell even just Mexico would have been a closer match, and believe me that Mexico doesn't have very much in common with Uruguay AT ALL. But at least, you know, they actually speak spanish and write in the latin alphabet there.
 
Alas, poor Uruguay (or as the Simpsons put it, U-R-Gay); this little country is almost always ignored, and on the rare occasions that it isn't, its grossly misrepresented.
 
In real life, its one of the most pleasant, inexpensive, safe, and modern (in the sense of having all the basic luxuries we'd be used to in the first world) of all the Latinamerican countries.  Only Argentina and parts of  Brazil might beat it out in terms of comforts, but Uruguay beats both in security by a factor of about a hundred. Its definitely the safest country in latinamerica.
 
Its also got magnificent beaches, fantastic food (especially if you're a fan of beef, which is top quality here and all organic), incredible music and night life, great little street markets, festivals, shopping, pretty much everything us rich northamericans could want in a vacation. You can buy a liter of beer for under a dollar US, ditto for a pack of cigarettes, and I just finished eating a really fantastic plate of lasagna for less than two bucks. In other words, its affordable on top of everything else.
 
And yet, in recent media Uruguay has been:
An irradiated hole in the ground, destroyed by an alien attack (DC Comics)
a country that tells you you're gay (the Simpsons)
and now apparently an evil dictatorship that threatens america, uses the cyrillic alphabet, and has mayan ruins.
 
Even in Roleplaying Uruguay gets a wierd treatment.  The only RPG reference I've ever seen for the country is actually in Palladium's Robotech, where Montevideo is the largest South American city unaffected by the zentraedi global bombardment, and subsequently Uruguay becomes a latinamerican superpower under a charismatic military dictator called "El Vencedor", conquering what's left of its neighbour argentina.
 
I don't know if anyone has any other reference to Uruguay, either in RPG or popular media, but if you do please feel free to comment and share it. And while you're at it, give me your opinion as to why the fuck it is that this country, and not, say, peru or ecuador, gets so wierdly misinterpreted by media sources?

RPGPundit July 28 2005

[JongWK]

It has to be an Unknown Armies conspiracy, right?

By the way, you forgot the Russian submarine with, uh, Italian signs.

[flyingmice]

Most Americans think New Mexico is south of the border. I wouldn't sweat it. Besides, the Simpsons thing isn't making fun of Uruguay, it making fun of idiotic Americans making fun of Uruguay.

-mice

[beejazz]

Uraguay has a crazy fucking name is all. And frankly, that's about all anyone here knows about it. Also it's not America. Scary, isn't it.

And didn't you mention it being communist? And, again, distinctly not under the thumb of America (or the whole IMF/world bank conspiracy).

None of this is a problem in my eyes. I see no problem with any form of government so long as it isn't a fear society. But you know American politics... if we can't control you, you're an enemy. More of that "with us or against us" bullshit.

[Thanatos02]

All I can say is that, for all I may agree or disagree with him (about 50-50, so far), I now realize that Uraguay isn't a total shithole.

Which, really, I should have expected. Of course, US conditioning tries to tell me that if white people don't run it, then it's a shithole. And, of course, the only good white people are Americans, and when it remembers, Austrailians and the Brits.

Man, I'm so tired of our geographical preconceptions based on utter bullshit...

[fonkaygarry]

Sounds like a fun place.  How're the firearm laws?

[RPGPundit]

All I can say is that, for all I may agree or disagree with him (about 50-50, so far), I now realize that Uraguay isn't a total shithole.

Which, really, I should have expected. Of course, US conditioning tries to tell me that if white people don't run it, then it's a shithole.

Well, um... do keep in mind that this is the guy who runs it:



And these are the kinds of people that generally live in it:









This guy is their most famous current Soccer star:



You may notice that pretty well all of these people are WHITE.
This is another bizzare misconception about southamerica.  In the "southern cone", the bulk of the population are of european descent. In Uruguay, the vast majority of the population are Europeans of Spanish, Italian, French or British descent.
Statistically, 88% of the population would be classified as "white", and only 4% as "mestizo", or part-indian.

And in case those people up there weren't white enough for you, here's a pic of the 2002 Magic:The Gathering Uruguayan national team, direct from the Wizards website:



That's pretty fucking white, dude.

RPGPundit

[RPGPundit]

Sounds like a fun place.  How're the firearm laws?

On paper, more restrictive than the United States.  In practice, extremely lax.

Most laws in Uruguay have very little relation on paper to the way things are in the country in practice.
But firearm crime is still relatively rare here. For all the local's complaints about crime, Uruguay is still the most secure country in south america and has crime rates that make it about as safe as most western european countries, and easily safer than most urban parts of the United States.

RPGPundit

[Silverlion]

Darn it and here I was hoping for a Fantasy setting inspired by Uruguayan myths/folklore.

[flyingmice]

Now that guy in the background of the Uruguayan president - the one with the moustache. THAT'S a gaucho moustache if I ever saw one! He should be on a horse.

-clash

[JongWK]

And these are the kinds of people that generally live in it:

Tripod doesn't allow hotlinking. You should link to the original website. :cool:

[cnath.rm]

Tripod doesn't allow hotlinking. You should link to the original website. :cool:

Hmmm, somehow I don't think my gf would be ok with my taking a side trip to uruguay.....

[beejazz]

All those people white?
I'll agree on the last two (that was the soccer star and the M:tG team, right?) But as for the rest: If that was white enough for America I wouldn't be subject to six "random" shoe checks every time I went to the airport. Because by that standard, Iranian=white. I'm not arguing "European descent" I'm arguing "you have no idea how xenophobic it gets here."

[flyingmice]

Huh? Iranians are white. The purest of Aryans, literally. That's where the word comes from! :O

-clash

[beejazz]

Huh? Iranians are white. The purest of Aryans, literally. That's where the word comes from! :O

-clash

Again, tell that to airport security. Maybe it's the nose that's a dead giveaway. *shrugs*