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DCC Campaign Update: Don't mess with Queen Booboo

In today's session (played outside at a private pool & BBQ, by the way!), the players were:

-Ambushed by a cape-wearing Vampire Chimp and his Merlady-Vampire girlfriend

-Charged at by a Morningstarasaurus.

-Double-crossed by a gorgeous and friendly Medusa.

-Viciously assaulted by a gang of dungeon-punk cannibal halflings and their chief, Queen Booboo.

-Ripped-off by a 5th Level Chaos-Lord/Alcoholic.

-Introduced to an Innkeeper named Osman, and another named One-eye.

-Convinced to hire a sellsword named Ralph.

-Privy to a very visible and explosive demonstration that the Daemon of Punk Chaos and Destruction and the Daemon of Heavy Metal Dragons do not like each other one bit.

-Unable to recover their miniature Elephant.

That's all for today.


(December 29, 2013)

DCC Campaign Update
In last night's adventure, which was apparently so good I crashed early and thus am writing this blog entry a day late, the players had quite a bit of fun, consisting in:

-Failing to sell your pop-singing hypno-toad

-Having to avoid the hellhounds of a sorcerous ex-wife

-Engaging in the most hilarious bazaar haggling scene ever

-Being shot at by snipers after their halfling decided to stop for tea and backgammon rather than sounding the alarm.

-Dying due to being mistaken for the wrong halfling.

-Being kidnapped by two spaniards.

-Mistakenly thinking you're naked in front of a gang leader

-Being cursed by the Snake Witch

-Hearing increasingly perturbing rumours about the mad wizard Nicodemus

-Entering into a room with too many fish-men.

-Meeting a suspiciously friendly ghost.

-Facing a horde of skeleton-ballerinas.

-Going one Thermite Grenade too far.

-Finding the room with the most important ring in the world, and then burying it under a ton of rubble.

-Flattering Queen Boo-boo to avoid being eaten by her army of feral halfling punks.

-Winning the favor of the second most powerful person in the entire city; meaning that the most powerful person in the entire city and all his minions will now be trying to kill you.

-Trying to convert the world's most infamous alcoholic to the true faith in a desperate bid to avoid getting 23 stab wounds in the back.

That is all, for today.


(January 13, 2014)

DCC Update

In the last adventure, on Sunday, the PCs learned:

-that a drunk thief shooting a hand crossbow from under a table can only ALMOST kill an ogre.

-That being the "chosen one" of the Daemon Lord of Death is not a good deal.

-That blinded barons named "Von Kraut" tend to hold grudges.

-That there are hardly any real Clerics in Arkhome.  

-On a related note, that a Cleric's life is full of disappointments and misery.

-That a cursed singing toad CAN be worth something, if you can find the right buyers.

-That even cultists of Bobugbubilz can't agree on how to pronounce his name.

-That, on the other hand, cultists of Bobugbubilz are easier to negotiate with than death cultists or
vengeful barons.

-That there is a very very slow long-term plan afoot to sink the city of Arkhome into a swamp.

-That the gender of the "lord" of Dragons is a subject somewhat up to debate.

-That someone somewhere considered halfling cannibalism a worthy subject of a work of art.

-That halflings that consider erotic human lithographs worth keeping are considered perverts.

-That you can't fool the Goblin Guard all of the time, but you can fool them some of the time.

-That the desert holds an army of the dead waiting to be raised

-That "not today" really is the best thing to say to the Lord of Death.


(January 21, 2014)

DCC Campaign Update: Jellyfishmen!

In our last adventure, the PCs discovered:

-That dark elves look totally "dark" but the effect is ruined by their squeaky little voices.

-That the Assassin King and the Assassin's Guild have a more complicated relationship than their names would suggest.

-That if a Frenchman's first words to you are "non, je ne suis pas un robot!"... he's a robot.

-That the temple of the Love-Goddess Titia is not going to be as fun a time as it sounds.

-That in the Desert of Devastation, creatures like to attack on the second watch of the night.

-That Camel Racing is a very profitable profession and respectable in certain circles.

-That the Krakenshark is not the scariest thing in the Sea of Sighs

-That the King of Elfland really, really has the universe's most awesome aquarium.

-That its a very bad idea to offer up the dragon that's currently saving your ass as a gift to the King of Elfland.

-That the Jellyfishmen of the Deep have very good manners, and a hat obsession.

-That the Assassin's Guild is not a Community College.

-That the Assassin King will go to obscene lengths to adequately nuke his pizza pockets.


(February 18, 2014)

DCC Campaign Update: Now With Gender-Indeterminate Pre-Teens

In this weekend's DCC campaign adventure, it was shockingly confirmed that:

-The assassin's guild are definitely not a community college.
-The assassin's guild are, however, the proprietors of the worst-kept "secret" hideout in all of Archome
-The assassin's guild are also mediocre-quality leather-workers.

-The Dwarves definitely know how to hold a grudge.  They also know how to air grievances, file complaints, list lamentations, and take two or three days to answer simple questions.
-The Dwarves are also absolute masters of defensive fighting, which might explain why they lost their ancient homelands.

-The Snake Witch does not like having her rumpy-bumpy interrupted with requests for snack breaks.
-The Snake Witch is also an advocate for slow and very painful capital punishment.

-Trying to Charm one of the Snake Witch's public employees is a very dangerous idea, but may just get you somewhere.

-The Desert Nomad's Camel-Milk Wine is very potent stuff; and may have you waking up next to two burly nomads, a midget, a dancing bear, three whirling dervishes, a tapestry-illustrator, and a particular smarmy alcoholic Chaos Lord.

-Putting Nitroglycerine in a flask does nothing to improve its carrying safety.

-The Desert of Destruction is not nearly as dangerous as it sounds.
-The Plain of Glass is also not nearly as dangerous as it sounds.
-The Valley of Garbage is much, much more dangerous than it sounds.

-There are good slimes and bad slimes, and ways to differentiate between the two.
-Mutagentic Goo Slime and Bleach do not mix.

-It is strategically unwise to attack your opponents from the higher ground of a hill of soiled diapers.

-Large diaper-related explosions only attract more Bugbears.

-Bugbears in the world of the Last Sun are literally crosses between bugs and bears.

-Low-intellect Chaos Swords mostly just keep trying to get you to steal stuff.

-Blasters do nothing against Gelatinous Cube Slimes; Phasers, on the other hand, are fairly effective. Magic Missiles still work best.

-The Crystal of the Tyrant did not actually belong to the Tyrant; it was meant to keep the Tyrant imprisoned.

-Dwarves built their machines big, and built them to last. Their warning messages, not so much.

-When surrounded by hundreds of Eye Tyrants and their King, the only chance you really have is to make them laugh.

-Never trust an Elf in desperate search of a potion of Intelligence.

-An ancient Dwarven Particle Beam Cannon can slice a dragon in two.

-The Snake Witch rarely forgives, and she never forgets; so you had better. Forget, that is.

Finally, in 2014, 10-year-old boys are surprisingly nonchalant about a magic missile spell turning them into a girl every time they cast it, as long as it does a lot of damage.


(February 25, 2014)


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