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Author Topic: DCC Campaign Log  (Read 5154 times)

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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #15 on: June 02, 2015, 01:21:06 AM »
DCC Campaign Update: Now With More Gender-Indeterminate Wizards!


In this weekend's camping expedition/adventure the PCs were:

-lost in the Tanglewood forest

-drawn to the conclusion that it was better just to wander around looking for things to kill rather than trying to spend hours crafting some elaborate plan to take out the Smug Elves.

-ambushed by a force of Evil Forest Centaurs

-informed that forest centaurs are dicks.

-reminded with lethal force that 0-level characters shouldn't act like heroes.

-made aware that like in most of the Last World, actual humans are a rarity; however, in this region of the world there is a particular superabundance of mutants.

-surprised by the fact that apparently Shaggy-Red Caveman Mutants are often also Psychics.

-sent the message that their attempt to stop the Eco-Ogre attack on Arkhome had failed.

-not surprised by how little they cared, now that they were safely a half-continent away from the Eco-ogres and their Eye-tyrant overlords.

-warmly greeted by Bolt-O, the conversation-starved production robot.

-able to recruit Bolt-O to their group, by engaging in such diverse topics like "do you think that there is a practical difference between alligators and crocodiles" and "what is your favorite letter of the alphabet, and why?"

-confronted by three of the gender-variant-and-indeterminate archwizards of the Grand Inclusive & Non-Hierarchical Azure Order.

-only slightly less surprised than the Azure Wizards when the PCs' own gender-indeterminate wizard politely declined joining them, since he doesn't actually feel oppressed or set apart at all for being "trigendered" (as the wizard's 10-year old Player called it...)!

-warned about Cannibal Vines.

-nevertheless taken totally by surprise by Cannibal Vines, at the cost of Marak the Wizard's life.

-witnesses to a cannibal-vine-planting operation undertaken by a trio of easily-spooked Furry Mutants.

-able to reach the Azure Tower, only to be sent off immediately to deal with the Furry Mutants and the Toad Wizard of Bobgobdobulz (who as usual want to bury the whole world in mud and swamp).

-forced to face the fact that Bill the Elf is in serious repressed grief for his brother Ted's death, and looking for substitute-Teds in all the wrong places.

-unexpectedly drawn into a drumming competition with the Furry Mutant Tribe.

-clever enough to discover that Bolt-o can double as an excellent steel drum.

-able to win over the Furry Mutants against the Toad Wizard through the power of aggressive drumming alone.

-quick to learn that having 50 Furry Mutant 'braves' at your command is not nearly as useful as it sounds.

-successful at blowing both the Toad Wizard and his Toad Fiend to little bits, with relatively little help from the cowardly and largely useless Furry Mutants.

-determined to settle down for a good long time in the village of the Azure Order tower, to spend a year's sabbatical for relaxation and self-improvement.

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(May 28, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2015, 01:50:55 PM »
DCC Campaign Update



In this weekend's adventure, the PC party came to the conclusion that:

-The village of outcasts under the Azure Tower was a fairly good place to spend a gap year.

-Unicorns are actually assholes; especially Lightning Unicorns.

-The Red Mutants don't mess around.

-The fundamental curse of the Brassiere of Femininity is that the clasp is really really difficult to get off.

-The Azure Order's Transmutation Lab facilities are second-to-none.

-It was a tough year to be a Cleric back in Arkhome.

-If you're a cleric who gets tortured by people everywhere you go, after a while you just start to assume its going to happen.

-The Eye Tyrants must be stopped.

-Only Grenoble the Pious, the greatest Cleric who ever lived, might be able to stop them.  Unfortunately he's lost somewhere in the outer dimensions, and would first need to be found, and possibly rescued, before he can call down divine aid against the Eye Tyrants.

-To do this, the team would need to find Anthraz the Destroyer, the greatest adventurer of all time, according to his reputation.

-Red Mutants may not mess around, but they're also definitely not fireproof.

-The Orc Hills are conspicuously absent of Orcs; it remains to be seen whether the Limitless Mountains have any limits.

-When you're facing down 90 Black Mutant Dervishes, its time to call for Divine Aid.

-When that Divine Aid takes the form of a Hologram of Anthraz, it means he probably does live up to his reputation.

-When Tiamat, who usually promises her faithful she'll send a dragon to help, makes it explicitly clear she will not be sending any dragons, that makes you pay attention.

-Even if your campaign-long wish is to grow dragon-wings, doing it when you're about to meet the human who single-handedly slaughtered more dragons in his life than you've eaten cheetohs is probably the worst possible time.

-No matter how much you might want to own Caliburn, the deadliest magical sword in the world; or a suit of Quantum Knight Plate Armor; it's probably not worth having to fight the guy who won them in the first place, no matter how wizened and decrepit he might appear.

-Nor would it seem a good idea to try to steal some of his loot and run for it when he can casually dig out and freely give away a trapped Ifrit with a teleportation boon from under the nearest pile of huge diamonds.

-Anthraz sounds a little like Grandpa Simpson, if he was crossed with Dirty Harry.

-These days, Anthraz is mostly interested in playing checkers.

-When you hit level 10, there's really not much left to motivate you to go adventuring.

-While he fought back the Lord of the Dark Ones, murdered the Evil Dolphin King, defeated the Cult of Skaros, and wrestled a really large crocodile, Anthraz's greatest accomplishment may be his ability to spot a Brassiere of Femininity from a mile away.

-The temptation to have one last checkers match with his last surviving party-mate is almost enough to convince Anthraz to seek out Grenoble, but only if the PCs will first complete a quest to prove they aren't just "a bunch of dumb kids".

-If they have to fulfill a quest to satisfy Anthraz, the ultimate choice for the PCs is that while it might be easiest to slay the Peaceloving Dragon of Corannion Pass, the cost in terms of PC-dragon relations would be too high; and while stealing the Magic Wafer from the Cyborg Grandmother's Death Fortress is tempting, they already know that high-tech traps are extra-deadly. Thus, the wisest quest to embark upon will be to burn down the Bungalow of the Beach Giant Chiefs.

-When you're a Red Mutant who was charmed by someone with a Brassiere of Femininity, only to later encounter your charmer sans bra, everything you know about your life suddenly comes into question.

And the quote of the night? "DCC sure has taught us a lot about tolerance!"
There's a string of words that might never have been heard in that particular sequence before.



For the record, since some people have apparently been under the impression that the order of gender-variant wizards might be an insulting sort of mockery that's going on; its actually not. Yes, there's some funny elements to the Azure Order; if you haven't guessed already this is a campaign that is poking a bit of fun at everything.  However, the humor has never been at the expense of either gender identity or sexual orientation.  

And in fact, the Azure Order are, thus far in the campaign, the only large-scale group that have been depicted as both:
a) unquestionably the good guys (their mission being to protect the weak and outcasts and oppose evil in all its forms)
AND
b) at the same time actually both competent and powerful.  There's a reason the PCs have taken to hanging out with them; from what they've seen so far of a shitty post-apocalyptic fantasy world, the Azure Order are a shining light, even if things occasionally get a little "Portlandia" with them.

RPGPundit

(originally posted June 12, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #17 on: July 03, 2015, 02:18:09 AM »
DCC Campaign Update


In this week's adventure the PCs went on a long overland trek to:

-Find the Gemstone River, where nary a gemstone was found.

-Bypass the Smug Elves' dome.

-Burn a magical feather-boat, to magically create a boat that was slightly too large to navigate the river.

-Find that in spite of not being programmed for aquatic service, Bolt-O the robot makes a decent gondolier.

-Float past a purple-mutant barbarian village to an unfriendly reception.

-Leave the purple mutants confused as to whether a boat with a cloud of darkness was actually a demon or not.

-Discover that at least one purple mutant wanted to cast magic missile at the darkness, but could not, because he was not a wizard.

-Encounter a living tree (a "Trent"), who collected potions.

-Discover that apparently all Trents enjoy collecting curios of some sort or another.

-Realize that camping outside the boat runs the risk of Kobold marauders trying to steal your boat in the night.

-Get some serious Divine Aid overkill when G.O.D. turned a significant part of the river to a block of solid ice to "make sure the kobolds couldn't get away".

-Learn that being stuck in a block of slowly-melting ice for much of the day leaves you vulnerable to a massive orc attack.

-Note that casting darkness on your boat may confuse purple mutants, but does nothing to dissuade orcs.

-Find that at least one orc wanted to cast magic missile at the darkness, and was indeed a wizard, but could not, because he took a arrow through the heart (from Uhm, the Psychic Red Mutant Caveman) before he could pull it off.

-Nod with wisdom at how what Divine Aid causes, Divine Aid can cure.

-Realize that "scorching ray" does not do well against drenched orcs.

-Leave behind a perfectly good boat when the river turns.

-Note with confusion that the "wasted lands" are actually a fairly lush verdant plain.

-Learn that the "wasted lands" may be called that because of an overabundance of very hostile humanoids.

-Learn that on the other hand, its also possible that the "wasted lands" may be called that because of the preferred vices of the Beach Giant Chiefs.

-Take zoological record of the fact that Imp Familiars are a favored food of Giant Prarie Owls.

-Encounter a particularly tough horde of dog-faced humanoids.

-Discover that when imploring G.O.D., a "burn the heretics" mentality seems more effective than a "help me to show them the righteous path" mentality.

-Finally reach the Bungalow of the Beach Giant Chiefs, only to have to pause there, with almost a month to wait until the next session. Damn.

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(June 26, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #18 on: July 22, 2015, 06:42:13 PM »
DCC Campaign Update.. Sort Of


So this is not technically an update of my DCC campaign, because we didn't play this weekend.  Instead, on Sunday I went off to a special gaming con being put together (as part of a larger series of youth events this winter vacation) by the Montevideo city government.  "2d4orcos.com", the local gaming forum, had helped co-ordinate it, and I was invited to run a game; since I always like helping 2d4orcos out, I agreed.  

I had kind of forgotten that this was going to take place the weekend after the release of 5e D&D. As it turns out, it was quite the experience; the adulation I got from some of the gamers there was pretty awesome, I have to admit.  It was also awesome that I was running DCC, and over at the table next to mine they were playing Lords of Olympus (which has become very popular in Uruguay).

But anyways, we played with a group of five: one was a gaming veteran, the other four relative newbies, a group of four friends in their late teens who had each played an RPG between 0-3 times. None had ever played an Old School RPG before (in fact, only one had ever played D&D).

In this adventure, our intrepid Substitute Heroes learned that:

-Among the mutant villages of the Tangled Forest, a Mud-raker earns more than either a baker or a gaucho, but not as much as a con artist.

-No one trusts the Transparent Mutants.

-The forest is littered with the ruins of the Great Neutral Kingdom, who were too indecisive to stop the onslaught of the forces of Law and/or Chaos.

-The Triangle Mutants are too caught up in their war with the Square mutants to give a crap about figuring out what monstrosity came out of the ancient ruins to massacre the Stick Mutants.

-Cannibal Riverweed is nothing to trifle with.

-On the other hand, cannibal riverweed looks like a walk in the park compared to a Vicious Giant Wiener Dog.

-When your best warrior has a crippling phobia of bright lights, it's not a good idea to cast spells that mercurially involve flashes of bright light; especially if said warrior is the only thing standing between you and a giant killer wiener-dog.

-When exploring the ruined metal temples of the Ancients, it's not necessarily a good idea to press a bunch of buttons on any old panel you come across.

-Killer robots come in Square and Triangular forms... coincidence? Probably not.

-When a single level-1 warrior is the last man standing against a killer robot, making use of the ruins' automated traps can be a life-saving (and adventure-defining) moment.

-Unfortunately, finding a big locker full of still-viable Ancient Tech is not worth that much when one of your mutants doesn't have the wherewithal to estimate the blast radius of an ancient incendiary grenade.



At the end of the day, the body count was 4 dead out of a total of 7 characters made.  The PCs killed a patch of killer Riverweed, a Giant Wiener Dog, and two evil Robots. The successfully avoided getting into fights with either the Triangle or the Square mutants. Everyone had a grand time.

RPGPundit

(July 9, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #19 on: July 22, 2015, 06:42:14 PM »
DCC Campaign Update.. Sort Of


So this is not technically an update of my DCC campaign, because we didn't play this weekend.  Instead, on Sunday I went off to a special gaming con being put together (as part of a larger series of youth events this winter vacation) by the Montevideo city government.  "2d4orcos.com", the local gaming forum, had helped co-ordinate it, and I was invited to run a game; since I always like helping 2d4orcos out, I agreed.  

I had kind of forgotten that this was going to take place the weekend after the release of 5e D&D. As it turns out, it was quite the experience; the adulation I got from some of the gamers there was pretty awesome, I have to admit.  It was also awesome that I was running DCC, and over at the table next to mine they were playing Lords of Olympus (which has become very popular in Uruguay).

But anyways, we played with a group of five: one was a gaming veteran, the other four relative newbies, a group of four friends in their late teens who had each played an RPG between 0-3 times. None had ever played an Old School RPG before (in fact, only one had ever played D&D).

In this adventure, our intrepid Substitute Heroes learned that:

-Among the mutant villages of the Tangled Forest, a Mud-raker earns more than either a baker or a gaucho, but not as much as a con artist.

-No one trusts the Transparent Mutants.

-The forest is littered with the ruins of the Great Neutral Kingdom, who were too indecisive to stop the onslaught of the forces of Law and/or Chaos.

-The Triangle Mutants are too caught up in their war with the Square mutants to give a crap about figuring out what monstrosity came out of the ancient ruins to massacre the Stick Mutants.

-Cannibal Riverweed is nothing to trifle with.

-On the other hand, cannibal riverweed looks like a walk in the park compared to a Vicious Giant Wiener Dog.

-When your best warrior has a crippling phobia of bright lights, it's not a good idea to cast spells that mercurially involve flashes of bright light; especially if said warrior is the only thing standing between you and a giant killer wiener-dog.

-When exploring the ruined metal temples of the Ancients, it's not necessarily a good idea to press a bunch of buttons on any old panel you come across.

-Killer robots come in Square and Triangular forms... coincidence? Probably not.

-When a single level-1 warrior is the last man standing against a killer robot, making use of the ruins' automated traps can be a life-saving (and adventure-defining) moment.

-Unfortunately, finding a big locker full of still-viable Ancient Tech is not worth that much when one of your mutants doesn't have the wherewithal to estimate the blast radius of an ancient incendiary grenade.



At the end of the day, the body count was 4 dead out of a total of 7 characters made.  The PCs killed a patch of killer Riverweed, a Giant Wiener Dog, and two evil Robots. The successfully avoided getting into fights with either the Triangle or the Square mutants. Everyone had a grand time.

RPGPundit

(July 9, 2014)
LION & DRAGON: Medieval-Authentic OSR Roleplaying is available now! You only THINK you've played 'medieval fantasy' until you play L&D.


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Also, now with the CULTS OF CHAOS cult-generation sourcebook

ARROWS OF INDRA
Arrows of Indra: The Old-School Epic Indian RPG!
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LORDS OF OLYMPUS
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #20 on: July 27, 2015, 01:57:40 AM »
DCC Campaign Archive Update


In this weekend's adventure, continuing the quest to burn down the Bungalow of the Beach Giant Chiefs, the PCs spent the night:

-Trying to answer the question "where do Beach Giants poop"?

-Playing the waiting game, when they found the answer to the above, for several hours of staking out the local shit-hole in order to ambush Beach Giants one or two at a time.

-Coming to terms with the fact that, while they always knew being a Cleric was a "dirty job", it was never quite so literal as when the group's Iron Cleric decided to hide IN the oversized latrine-hole to get maximum benefit from a surprise attack, when Beach Giants are.. shall we say, at their most vulnerable.

-Feeling a bit of an "are we the baddies?" moment about having to destroy the Beach Giants' home just to fulfill the whim of a crazy old adventurer

-Feeling quite a bit less bad when they figure out that the cause of frequent latrine-visits among the Beach Giants is due to eating poorly-cooked human.

-Eventually figuring out the latrine-goers are starting to be missed, and choosing instead to find out just how much Beach Giants value their surfboards.

-Trying to beat a hasty retreat when the entire population of the Bungalow of the Beach Giant Chiefs comes at them with a vengeance for burning down their surf-shack.

-Uncovering the interesting fact of the Beach Giants' diplomatic ties to the Stoner Giants and the Cloudy Giants. Also, apparently, to the Bears.

-Confirming that the Stoner Giants are in fact made out of stone, but that's not why they're called "Stoner" Giants.

-Further discovering that the cloud that surrounds a Cloudy Giant is not water vapour, but more of a 'purple haze'.

-Learning that if you get your patron Tiamat to summon you a local dragon, and that dragon turns out to be a Puff-magic Dragon, it's not going to be of much use to you in the mission.

-Deciding that if you want to tear the roof off a giant bungalow and set it ablaze from within, it may be best to just roll up your Draconically-transformed sleeves and do it yourself.

-Getting stuck after the mission is completed, partly due to having to rescue two of your team-mates (one the victim of underestimating the maximum possible range of a giant's boulder; the other staying up after a direct hit from a portable ballista, only to be dropped by yet another rock), but mainly because they found out that most of the Giant's treasure can be found in the cave complex under the burnt ruins of the bungalow.

-Discovering, after Charming the Orc messenger sent to discuss hostage negotiations, that the Orcs are completely sick of the Beach Giants, and there may be an entire rebel tribe of Orcs down there too.

And that was it for this session; stay tuned for the next part in a couple of weeks.

RPGPundit

(23 July 2014)
LION & DRAGON: Medieval-Authentic OSR Roleplaying is available now! You only THINK you've played 'medieval fantasy' until you play L&D.


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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #21 on: August 03, 2015, 01:56:41 AM »
DCC Campaign Update: Now With More Eye-Tyrants!


In this week's very special episode, the gang learned some important lessons:

-Large manufacturing robots who can't modulate the volume of their voice make very lousy "disguised" trees.

-There are times when you should just quit while the quitting is good; and when you've rescued your captured wizard and have dozens and dozens of Beach Giants hunting for you, that's one of those times.

-Anthraz the Destroyer did not die of old age while the PC party was away, but it really could have gone either way.

-Before you get to go on a trans-dimensional adventure with Anthraz the Destroyer, you have to repair his fence.  In exchange, you will get a shiny gold piece and a rambling grandpa-lecture about thrift.

-Pretty well all portals to the 9th dimensional "Grey Realms" are really odd, but entering the side of a cow to cross over takes it to a whole new level.

-You never know when, while in the 9th dimension, a serious knowledge of "Glee" trivia might come in handy.

-Queen Priscilla of the Grey Realms tries to act like a high-school teenie-bopper (inasmuch as a huge grey blob-creature can do so), but she's been on the throne for at least 35 years.

-If Queen Priscilla had a massive crush on your dead twin brother, that may open some doors.

-On the other hand, if she's really more interested in everyone feeling sorry for (and paying attention to) her for having a "dead boyfriend", suggesting that you might be able to bring him back to life is not going to get you far.

-It shouldn't surprise anyone that Queen Priscilla doesn't feel she has to actually embrace any active religious devotion to G.O.D., or strive to become a better person in general, because she already "feels" she's "like totally really spiritual".

-You can try to reason with 9th-dimensional grey blob people at a Bereavement Prom as long as you like, but the second the tricentenarian warrior in power armor blows DJ Jazzy Blob straight to hell, conversation time is over.

-If you put two really really old semi-retired adventurers together, the sexism and the complaining-about-kids-today levels are likely to get pretty high.

-Why would the world's most powerful cleric, and therefore greatest healer, be nearly deaf?  Stubborn refusal to acknowledge reality.

-Arkhome was no jewel of a city when the PCs actually lived there, but after they left it really went to shit.

-is it advisable to leave the rest of your party to go look for your old stuff and your former dealer, when there's an army of thousands of Eco-Ogres and Eye Tyrants about to destroy the city?  Probably not, but it is hilarious.

-Wizard + Eye Tyrant + Spell Duel + Phlogiston Disturbance = Awesome.

-Sometimes you get an Amulet of Extra Life just in time.

-Rings of Invisibility are awesome, but Rings of Invisibility that mean you're being constantly stared at (and heckled by) the ZZasZZ, the Dark Lord of the North, can get annoying really fast.

-In the middle of an apocalyptic Eye Tyrant invasion, the safest place in town to be is Bob Shoggoth's Head Shop.

-If you serve a demon who rebelled against G.O.D., casting Invoke Patron within a sacred altar space of G.O.D. isn't a good idea for anyone.

-For the greatest Cleric who ever lived, using the Wrath of G.O.D. to blast thousands of Eye Tyrants straight to hell is no problem; it's avoiding being backstabbed right through the throat by a Halconlord Assassin that's difficult.

-Duke Halcon's second-in-command, "The Thrush", is a top-notch assassin, but even he can take only so many magic missiles.

-An Eye Tyrant shunted into another plane by a phlogiston disturbance is not a problem you can just forget about indefinitely.

-For the greatest Cleric who ever lived, surviving being stabbed through the throat by the Thrush is no problem; it's avoiding being disintegrated by an Eye Tyrant beam that's difficult.

-G.O.D.'s ways are beyond mortal ken; but at the end of the day, in this kind of world, if you've managed to stop ONE (of countless) world-threatening evils, you have to call it a job well done.

(august 5, 2014)
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« Reply #22 on: August 11, 2015, 04:05:45 AM »
DCC Campaign Update: GOLDEATER! (and the Derpy Horse of Destiny)


In this weeks fun-soaked adventure, the PCs were shocked by the fact that:

-Bolto the Conversation-loving Robot makes an awful barista.

-the airing of 'Matlock' would lead the world's greatest and oldest human adventurer to use a Cracker of Wishing to get them back to his palace on time.

-the defeat of the Eye Tyrants but not the Halconlords (and their guiding daemon Zargon) would end up ruining a far-too-intricate-to-work plan on the part of Sezrekan.

-the Demon Zzaszz was perilously close to capturing the Derpy Horse of Destiny in order to ritually sacrifice it and thus finally be able to transcend the Qlippothic breach to take on material form in the world, and conquer it.

-the Derpy Horse of Destiny was recently spotted somewhere in the Great Furry Plains.

-if the plan to have the Eye Tyrants and Halconlords mutually destroy each other doesn't work, one can always try to enact a plan to get the Halconlords and the Demon Zzaszz destroy each other.

-ancient burial mounds are a dangerous place, if you believe a totally insane Transparent Mutant Druid.

-choosing to put a drug-dealing human together with a drug-smoking elf for the first watch of the night is generally a bad idea.

-if you are sufficiently stoned, a Sequester Alarm just sounds like an annoying buzzing noise in your head.

-the Lumpy-Brown Mutants are vassals of the Gold Mutants of the Grand City of Goldhalcon, which may or may not have anything to do with the Halconlords, it's not clear.

-Goldhalcon is ruled by Goldeater, the criminal mastermind.

-Gold mutants literally eat gold to become more powerful.  Goldeater has apparently eaten a LOT of gold in his long lifespan.

-Goldeater also has a Council of Seven-and-a-Half Wizards, a dangerous bodyguard named Mr.Shin who has a deadly cravat; plus lasers, land-sharks, land-sharks with lasers attached to their heads, a semi-secret Volcano Bunker hideout just outside the city, control over Orbital Death Satellites, a plan to extort "One Million gold pieces!" from the neighbouring kingdoms, and a sensible and progressive municipal gun control policy.

-Goldeater also has a potentially-copyright-infringing theme song.

-Goldeater is, in spite of all this, the 'good guy' compared to the Demon Zzaszz.

-the Great Furry Plains is apparently populated by tribes of people who like to dress up as animals.

-the Capricorn Village, found on the plains, is a friendly community full of people who like to dress up as goats, rams, sheep, and one gorilla that may actually just be a real gorilla.

-Gold Mutant teamsters, in spite of working for a notoriously murderous criminal mastermind, are still really lazy.

-the Demon Zzaszz has sent not one but two of his Wraith Princes to capture the Derpy Horse of Destiny.

-there's also an elite team of Halconlord Assassins heading to the increasingly crowded Great Furry Plains.

-the Derpy Horse of Destiny is the descendant of the primordial horse king, pure-bred to maintain all of his ancestor's magical power, and thus hopeless inbred. He wanders the last world seeking to bring joy and do good deeds for all living beings and leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

-the Derpy Horse of Destiny, in spite of being protected by the forces of destiny and the ebb and flow of fortune and misfortune, can be captured by sufficiently powerful spell checks.

-astonishingly, a group of lollygagging teamsters taken by surprise are absolutely no match for an equal number of highly trained Halconlord assassins.

-likewise, a team of veteran Gold Mutant soldier-goons are no match for a Wraith Prince.  

-on the other hand, a Wraith Prince is no match for a sufficiently powerful gender-bending magic missile.

-when figuring out what to do with a derpy magic horse, it's a bad idea to totally forget that there was a second Wraith Prince in the vicinity.

-at the end of the day, no matter how lovable and lucky a Derpy Horse of Destiny may be, no amount of derping around can save it from Sezrekan getting what Sezrekan wants.

-unbeknownst to almost anyone, recently deceased Derpy Horses lay eggs.

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(august 21, 2014)
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« Reply #23 on: August 15, 2015, 03:22:24 AM »
DCC Campaign Update


Today, the PCs were forced to confront:

-the inter-dimensional unfathomable terror of having your drug dealer, who happens to be a Shoggoth with a fondness for reggae, send out a distress message in your fever-dreams revealing he's been kidnapped.

-the bizarre consequences of having your very being touched by a thing man was Not Meant to Know, much less get weed from.

-The realization that the first stage of shoggoth-touched madness is having your farts shoot acid.

-The news that Bob Shoggoth has apparently been kidnapped by a long-vanished order of elven ultra-tech knights.

-The curious fact that humans who smoke Shoggoth-weed will become mutants; while elves who smoke Shoggoth-weed suffer from a much weirder fate.

-The urgency of the need to go rescue him, once a tentacle-eyestalk that is not your own begins to emerge from your ass.

-the further greed-motivation that emerges on learning that Bob Shoggoth knows the hidden location of a mint-condition GCM-L Pythian Power Armor complete with Jet Pack and Butt-Rocket accessories.

-The return of the Smug Elves of the Silver Dome, mistakenly attacking the PCs while looking for the Pythian Knights.

-The increasing seriousness of the situation when the tentacle-eyestalk thing in your posterior grows a mouth and starts to sing Tiny Tim songs... and later vomits vanilla ice-cream.

-(the troubling OOC RL development that the mention of 'ice-cream' leads all the players to want to go get some ice cream, in spite of the in-game ice cream coming out of a tentacle-thing lodged in the elf PC's ass).

-The unchanging crapulence of the everyone-hating Purple Mutants of Cordallen.

-The tragic destruction-by-fire of the tentacle-eyestalk tiny-tim-singing ice-cream-spewing mythos-butt-monster, just when the elf was starting to like having it around.

-The somber realization that said destruction was probably for the best, as the tentacle-thing kept getting bigger and more elaborate, and that whole situation was heading towards nowhere good.

-The entry into the humanoid Badlands, en route to Yeti Country.

-The long-awaited thrilling encounter with the Pythian Knight kidnappers of Bob Shoggoth.

-The strong suspicion, upon noticing the presence of fake-elf-ears and patchwork-armors, that the kidnappers are not so much "Pythian Knights" as they are a "Pythian Knight Cosplayer Society".

-The confirmation of said suspicion when they spot that one cosplayer found in every group of cosplayers who REALLY isn't even trying; in this case, having just put a box over his torso with the word "pythian" written on it, and not even written in Elvish.

-The dark decision to kill most of them anyways, except for 'box guy' and "guy armed with a stick he's pretending is a wand of lightning bolt".

-The inevitable inter-player fight over who gets to loot the least-shitty of the pythian armors.

-The rescue of Bob Shoggoth, and unanimous decision to carry on in search of the Pythian Power Armor.

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(september 7, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #24 on: September 24, 2015, 09:44:23 PM »
DCC Campaign Update: Giant Weasels Ripped Their Flesh


In This Adventure, the PCs haphazardly dashed into:

-A group of prisoners of the Pythian Knight Cosplay Society, who had no choice but to join the party as retainers.

-One of those prisoners, who happened to be a purple mutant with a bag of seriously hallucinogenic mushrooms.

-A crazy series of trans-dimensional effects that seemingly wiped out half the party, all because Bob Shoggoth got high on the shrooms.

-The accidental lobotomization of one of the brand new party members, for the same reason as above.

-An emergency retreat back to the Azure Tower, where the incredulous Azure Order mages were forced to confront the possibility of a "good Shoggoth" (not to mention a reggae-loving Rasta-Shoggoth).

-The annoyed conclusion of the Order that while Bob Shoggoth is not evil, he's not really 'good' either, and is definitely still dangerous.

-A second expedition in search of the Mint Condition Pythian Power Armor Suit (with jet-pack and butt-rockets).

-The in-hindsight-unfortunate decision not to invite along the one Shoggoth who knows the exact location of the Half-Sunken Temple where the Power Armor is located.

-The decision to avoid the Humanoid Badlands (and the purple mutant territory) by cutting across the forest toward the Fur Bay.

-The tragic confirmation that two-headed grass-snakes are in fact very poisonous, ruining what could have been a potentially lucrative setup for creating a hallucinogenic-mushroom business.

-The discovery that the "Fur Bay" is not named that way because of fur-trading, nor because it is populated by furries (like the "Great Furry Plains") but because it is a deeply polluted body of mutagenic water that is nearly covered in an fur-like green algae.

-Having to cope with the fact that they live in a world where there's actually a town called "Badbreath".

-Having to further cope with the fact that this town is ruled over by a guy literally named Lord Dread, who rules from Castle Dread.

-The not-entirely-surprising revelation that Lord Dread is in fact a mustache-twirling dressed-all-in-black would-be villain with a stupid plan to united the badland humanoids under his command to take over the entire region.

-The useful but untimely discovery that hallucinogenic mushrooms are lethally toxic to goblins.

-A surprisingly friendly entente with Lord Dread.

-Moving on from Castle Dread to the town of Highbay.

-The not-entirely-surprising confirmation that Highbay is so named not because it is at some kind of position of geographical altitude, but because it is an important mercantile port for the illicit-drug trade.

-Discovering that Highbay is no peaceful dirty-hippie town; though it is full of peaceful dirty hippies, the actual people in command are all very sober, well-armed, and ruthless businessmen.

-The taking of heavy amounts of mushrooms to try to contact Bob Shoggoth, unsuccessfully, while ending up in a compromising situation with a pair of grey mutant courtesans and a blue mutant midget pretending to be an erotic halfling.

-Further explorations of similar levels of psychedelia, leading to waking up in possession of a holo-gaming device of unknown origin, a pirate hat, and a mysterious Bobblehead doll.

-A changed Elf, swearing to cut down on the drugs, and even the surprisingly wise decision not to try something called "assassin's weed".

-The shocking revelation that Bolt-O (the Conversation-Robot) has been commandeered by the city government to serve as an entertainment for the High Council.

-A bureaucratic maze in Highbay City Hall, as threatening as any dungeon; if said dungeon was non-lethal and incredibly annoying.

-The confirmation that serious amounts of cash being thrown at corrupt civil servants will cut right through the mazelike process.

-The by-now-not-surprising-at-all discovery that the "high council" are so named because they're all constantly high.

-The valuable illumination into the real power in charge of the city is the Chief City Officer of the Bureaucracy, who's never touched a drug in his life, aside from ale and rhinocerous blood.

-The tense negotiations with Chief City Officer Swanlee, which lead to Bolt-O being given a free choice as to whether he wishes to continue with the party or accept a civil service job (well-paid, with benefits) in Highbay.

-The disappointment of Bolt-O deciding he can have a life full of more interesting Conversations among the balls-tripping stoners of the High Council than he could continuing with the PCs.

-The departure from Highbay, knowing that they've lost a semi-valuable party member but gained a useful contact in local town government.

-The continued trek toward the Perverted Swamp, interrupted by a horrifying attack from vicious Giant Weasels.

-The death of two more newbie party members, Giant Weasels having ripped their flesh.

-The determination to hold fast and bunker down in the weasel plains, halfway between Highbay and the Perverted Swamp, while the elf spends 48 hours in constant and unwavering occult-theory-work in order to gain a bonus spell.

(september 17, 2014)
LION & DRAGON: Medieval-Authentic OSR Roleplaying is available now! You only THINK you've played 'medieval fantasy' until you play L&D.


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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #25 on: October 05, 2015, 04:22:04 AM »
DCC campaign update: Inside The Perverted Swamp


In this week's Action-packed Adventure, the heroic PCs:

-camped out on the coastline and ran into the Pirates of the Furry Bay
-found out that with pirates, women are 'bad luck'
-found out that with pirates, humans are 'bad luck'
-found out that with pirates, elves are 'bad luck'
-found out that with pirates, just about everything is "Bad luck"
-decided to leave the pirates, as they were too ridiculous
-met 'Frenchie', the old grizzled gold mutant prospector; that is, a gold mutant who pans for gold, not a dude who prospects gold mutants.
-contracted Frenchie with the promise of as much gold as he could eat, if he'd guide them into the perverted swamp, past the dangerous and savage nudist mutants, and into the half-sunken temple.
-on entering the swamp, learned that nudist mutants look just like naked humans except for the little black bar with the word 'censored' floating in front of their junk.
-drove off dangerous nudist mutants by making a series of silly animal sounds.
-had a dangerous encounter with a giant swamp crocodile, after eating its eggs for breakfast.
-hightailed it to the Half-sunken Temple, chased by 200 nudist mutants.
-discovered that the temple was the only good place to take refuge from the horde of deadly nudist mutants; that's the good news.  The bad news is that the reason they don't dare enter is that it's supposed to be haunted.
-went in anyways, of course.
-left their horses outside right by the temple arch, knowing the mutants wouldn't dare come so near... that's true, but they did dare to throw a few hundred spears at the horses, killing them all.
-faced a knob-polishing robot.
-discovered that if you destroy a knob-polishing robot's knobs, he gets understandably pissed and goes on a kill-all-humans rampage.
-had a near-fatality from elven friendly-fire.
-saw the same elf then use his mighty power rings against the robot... to almost no effect.
-upon defeating the knob-polishing robot, spent several days in the haunted temple recovering.  
-assisted their recovery on discovering that a piece of loot they'd been carrying with them for ages was actually a mechanical jug that generates curative alcohol.
-proceeded to generate curative alcohol out of water, and then out of urine.  And when the urine ran out, they got really desperate and used their regular alcohol.
-found that curative alcohol certainly cures, but it also sure packs a punch.
-while recovering, had yet another near-fatality due to elven friendly-fire, when said elf went mad trying to contact his daemon patron.
-also witnessed said elf lose his elven ears (or in fact any ears, for that matter) to corruption, which the rest of the party thought was the very least the fucker deserved at that point after nearly killing two of his team-mates.
-found a room full of coins and bones.  They wisely chose not to proceed, especially after discovering a tentacled-wall-clinger.
-proceeded to burn said tentacled-wall-clinger to death.
-discovered a bronze door with an iron handle-claw.
-realized that the magic-user's weird mercurial effect wherein casting "Color Spray" causes the nearest iron object to rust would prove enormously useful to get past the door.
-exercised extreme caution in the tunnel full of shades.
-saw the elf use his mighty power rings against the shades... to enormous effect!
-found a sunken, partially flooded room, and no sign of the Mint Condition Pythian Power Armor Suit (with jet-pack and butt-rockets), that appeared to have been looted long ago.
-saw the group's magic-user fall down a drain trap while exploring said room!
-feared the magic-user's death, but in the underwater drain said magic-user made a lucky choice of where to swim, and found his way not only to breathable air, but to the REAL armor-room, complete with Mint Condition Pythian Power Armor Suit (with jet-pack and butt-rockets).
-while busy trying to catch up to the magic-user, had no idea that said magic-user had also encountered the Ghost of Great Bertha, previous owner of said power armor.  The magic-user wisely chose not to confront Great Bertha in single combat for the armor, particularly since said power armor was clearly designed with female proportions in mind, and the party's very tough female Warrior was on the way.
-made a tactical decision as a party upon arrival, to ignore Great Bertha's demands for single combat, and just slaughtered the ghost en-masse.
-obtained the Pythian power armor, finding it to have superlight maneuverability, jet pack, and high-explosive butt-rockets (though only 4 of the original 12 butt-rockets yet remain).  They also found the seal-attachment that grants defense against energy attacks.
-found a sword as well, which immediately took mental control of the surprisingly weak-willed magic user. But since the sword is a kick-ass Pythian Wizardbane sword with a dozen powers, no one seemed to mind much, not even the magic user.
-felt a little less certain, out-of-character, when they realized the sword is also as much of a dick as any elf (particularly an elf from the last great elven military empire), and wants to restore the world to "Law" (and by "law", it means a situation where elves run everything, and everyone else licks their boots).
-promptly Plane-stepped back home, leaving behind the dead horses and the hundreds of violent nudist mutants. They took Frenchie with them, though.

RPGPundit

(october 4, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #26 on: October 22, 2015, 05:42:10 PM »
DCC Campaign Update: Bad Choices Edition


In this past adventure, the PCs unexpectedly encountered:

-a highly successful Phylactery Spell, only to have the elf who cast it left wondering where to safely put his new-made soul-crystal.

-the first of a series of bad choices, the elf handing over his phylactery to his ultra-powerful ultra-selfish archmage patron.  

-in the second in a series of bad choices, the other elf faking his way into the Azure Order.

-the order sending its newly-made member off to investigate reports of woodland animals acting in strange and violent ways, driving out the local mutant communities.

-An encounter with a frantic Brown Mutant, the last of his tribe not to have fled or died at the hands of the Crazy Forest Druid's army of woodland mammals, plus one duck.

-After brief initial skepticism, confirmation of the woodland terror when the party is set upon by a highly organized guerrilla assault from vicious Electro-Squirrels, even as the party's horses go out of control... well, their riders' control, at least.

-the frightening possibility of being total-party-killed by a bunch of squirrels.

-the one PC who fled the scene ending up facing a beret-wearing Revolutionary Bear.

-said PC fortunately remembering the old adage about playing dead when confronted with a bear.

-said PC unfortunately committing the third bad choice of the night, choosing to forget the prior adage to try to use Chill Touch, to little effect... other than being beaten unconscious by the guerrilla bear.

-the fortunate survival of the rest of the party, meanwhile, thanks to the timely application of the Pythian Sword's Sonic Blast.

-the group's luck running out when the party suffers a surprise attack from Ninja Badgers.

-in the fourth of a series of bad choices, the elf taking up the Pythian sword from the slain human wizard, the ultra intelligent mind-controlling sword that he already knew despised rogue Daemons and chaos wizards.

-said sword then manipulating the elf, through a freely-taken magical oath (in what constitutes bad choice of the night number 5) to try to go find and kill the elf's patron, a rogue daemon chaos wizard... the very same one that has the elf's soul in a gem.

-a planewalk to said patron's personal domain, in what might almost certainly have been a very fatal bad choice, were it not that the luckiest fumble of all time freed the elf just long enough for his Patron not to have to destroy him utterly.

-the patron granting forgiveness, in the most asshole-ish way possible, through a binding geas on his elf-servant, sending him on what may well be a suicide mission.  

-in relation to the same, the shocking news that the Daemon Mistress of All Dragons, Tiamat, is apparently mortally wounded in her own lair, assaulted by some powerful and terrible entity from the void beyond the limits of the universe.

-the geas mission, to be resolved as soon as possible (which is to say, after the Crazy Druid and his revolutionary army of Anarcho-Syndicalist Woodland Animals are defeated), consisting in destroying whatever attacked Tiamat... and then also destroying Tiamat.

-meanwhile, the other elf, now a prisoner (with a few others) of the Crazy Druid, finding that the Druid is controlling the woodland creatures through a strange and terrible mammal-controlling gem that he has had bio-implanted right into his chest.  

-noting that the duck, however, is not controlled (not being a mammal).  He is out to start a humanoid-animal apocalyptic war for his own sinister purposes.

-in the sixth really bad decision of the night, the prisoner-elf deciding to use his time to make a bond with a totally random patron.

-getting the Lord of All Flesh as said Patron, partly due to his membership in the azure order; which, it should be remembered, was done only as an opportunistic act of fraud.

-the rescue mission conducted by the Azure Order, where perhaps for the first time the PCs see what the Azure wizards are really capable of, with just a dozen of them taking on an entire army of vicious wolf shock troops, badger ninjas, beaver engineers, electro-squirrels, guerilla bears, and, of course, the Evil Duck.

-an epic escape from woodland custody, where salvation comes only when the Azure wizard Leandra (with the help of her sorcery, and her laser sword) takes down the Crazy Druid and shatters his hold over the forest animals.

-the apparently resolution of this week's crisis, with no one still alive having been left without at least some regrets.

-a shocking and terrifying denouement, after everyone thought all the horror was over, of a vicious night assault from the Evil Duck, who had survived his Druid ally's death and came after the PCs in a mission of vengeance.

-the conclusion that Ducks are the total assholes of the animal world.

RPGPundit

(October 22, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #27 on: November 01, 2015, 04:50:36 PM »
DCC Campaign Update: What Happens in The Dragon Mountains...



In this adventure the PCs managed:

-to have both the Azure Order and Sezrekan very interested in discovering what has (perhaps mortally) wounded Tiamat, and left her followers driven mad.

-to spend a couple of hours dicking each other around because the Sezrekan dude doesn't want to tell what he knows to the Azure Order dude, and vice versa.

-to discover that you can get your leather armor dyed in exchange for a reading from the Dwarven Book of Complaints.  As long as it's dyed yellow.  And you probably don't want to know how it's dyed yellow.

-to decide that they will go to Arkhome to seek out Bob Shoggoth and learn more about what has mortally wounded Tiamat, to the satisfaction of almost no one (except the Elf).

-to find Arkhome even more of a shit-hole than the last time they left it.

-to teleport to a level that was supposed to be abandoned (in the old days) but now (in the newer, shittier Arkhome) is the swamp-temple of the Frog Daemon.  

-to get there right in the middle of a ritual of human sacrifice.

-to bravely fight off the cultists, and then fight their way all the way up to the boundary line between the warring gangs of the Frog Cultists and the Halconlords.

-to identify themselves to the Halconlord guards as the party of Bill the Elf, one of the brave heroes who a year-and-a-half ago saved Arkhome from the Eye Tyrants.

-to discover they did so only to have the Halconlords remember how two years ago Bill the Elf was one of those who intruded in their secret base, stole their hostages, and ruined their plans to end the gang war and take the whole city.  Also, how a year-and-a-half ago Bill the Elf's party were the ones who killed The Thrush, second-in-command of the Halconlords.

-to have to bravely flee the Halconlords to the relative safety of the Frog Cultist levels.

-to end up in a frantic running fight (one that almost kills half the party) all the way down the cultist levels of the Snail Tower, out into the canyon-bottom level of Arkhome (formerly known as the Barrens, but now known as, they discover, the Cannibal Vine Swamp), and just barely make it to the Cathedral Tower.

-to end up the prisoners of the Snake Witch, whose gang has returned from being almost wiped-out to taking terrible revenge on Queen Booboo and her halflings, retaking the Cathedral and slaughtering every last halfling in Snake Witch territory.

-to find that the Snake Witch, having Tiamat as her patron, has also gone mad.

-to drive Bill the Elf to the point that he couldn't take it any longer, and returned to his former wacky-weed-using ways, to reach Bob Shoggoth.

-to discover, through Bob (or a drug-filled haze resembling Bob), that it is something called the "Egg Beyond" that has entered this world, and struck down Tiamat, and that it threatens to crack open the entire world. That it ate the stars of the universe a million years ago and now hungers to finally devour the Last Sun in this, the one world the Ancient Ones preserved.

-to express a determination to do whatever they can to stop this Egg Beyond, and the end of all life outside the dark eternal Void outside the universe.

-to feel dismay at Bob Shoggoth not liking their chances.

-to contact Sezerkan, only to have the latter decide he's sick of the PC's lollygagging around Arkhome and teleport the whole party to the Dragon Mountains, near (but not too near) the lair of Tiamat, Queen/King of Dragons, now dying.

-to have Bill the Elf continue to keep secrets from the party, much to their confusion.

-to have the other Elf (Rick, sometimes known as Rickandra for purely mercenary reasons) decide in that confusion to contact his new patron, the Lord of All Flesh.

-to realize the depths of slimy perviness of the Lord of All Flesh, as if the name alone was not hint enough.

-to make a really bad deal with the Lord of All Flesh.

-to have the entire party (minus their guide Frenchie the Gold Mutant, the only character who saved his Will roll) black out to discover the next day that they'd had some kind of demented orgy they thankfully have no recollection of.

-to agree that what happens in the Dragon Mountains, stays in the Dragon Mountains.

-to discover that Frenchie is nowhere to be found, having apparently fled in terror and/or disgust.

-to press on toward Tiamat's lair, only to discover a band of 12 dwarves on a quest to slay the dragon and take its treasure to fund the recovery of their lost homeland; led by none other than Prince Bongo, son of Bong (who was slain when he attempted the same quest a generation ago, as was his father before him, and his grandfather and great-grandfather before him).

-to find these dwarves seriously equipped, with their chain mail and traditional Battle Axes, as well as their traditional Monofilament Whips, Missile Launchers, land mines, Magnetic Grenades, and Blaster Rifles.

-to encounter a Mountain Giant in the middle of the night, maddened and mutated by some thing from beyond, powerful enough to barely be scratched by a land mine, and to snap a Red Mutant Caveman-Psychic's leg like it was a twig.

-to fortunately manage to scare off the Mountain Giant with traditional elven magic, and to save the Red Mutant Psychic Caveman with traditional dwarven medibots and nanostims.

-to reach the Great Dragon Mountain, and thus the gateway to Tiamat's Lair, and a confrontation to come with the Egg Beyond.

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(October 29, 2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #28 on: November 05, 2015, 01:08:24 AM »
DCC Campaign: The Ten Blades of the Company of Ten Blades

(note: this relates to some material for the campaign that hasn't actually shown up yet in the campaign, so if you're playing in my DCC campaign and you read this, beware of spoilers!)


The following are all blades which were used by a great band of adventurers who were legendary in the region around Goldhalcon some 500 years ago.  Until they were all slaughtered by the gargantuan dragon Bashaphat, they were legendary for their adventuring, and for all having awesome magic weapons. Today the swords are presumed to be found in the petrified corpse of Bashaphat, somewhere in the area of the Ominous Range.


1. The Shattered Sword of Alhayad
This is a +2 Longsword (neutral alignment, intelligence 7), which was broken in the battle with Bashaphat.  Even broken it still does 1d6 damage with a +2 bonus to hit and damage; its intellect is dormant while broken. If it were to be repaired somehow, it would awaken the sword's spirit, and the weapon would do an extra +2/+2 versus any non-neutral beings, and an extra d10 damage against outsiders of any kind, be they archons of G.O.D., rebel daemons, or beings from the Void Beyond.  The sword, when awake, will also do 2hp damage per round to the wielder if the wielder is not Neutral.
Unfortunately, the Shattered Sword is cursed to be broken again; any time the sword gets a critical hit, there is a 1/6 chance that the sword will shatter; if it does so, the creature struck must make a DC22 Fortitude save or die instantly as the sword breaks.

2. The Switchblade of Vinnie the Elf
A retractable techno-magical weapon, activated by the use of a switch on the handle, the weapon has three settings: dagger, rapier, or comb.  In dagger form it does 1d4+1 and has the quality of returning to the hand when thrown.  As a rapier, it does 1d6+1 and grants a +1 to the wielder's AC while using it.  As a comb, it will with a single brush give the wielder and impeccable pompadour.

3.  The Oranganium Sword
Made from rare Oranganium, this orange-coloured short sword grants +1 to hit and damage. It also grants any wielder with an Intelligence of 8 or higher the ability to detect the presence of any mutants or goblinoids within 500', and the ability to see invisible creatures within 50'. Use of either power requires light concentration (it does not happen automatically, but as long as the wielder is actively using the power he may still take other actions regularly).

4. The Mother of Blades
Crafted by the finest Pythian Engineers, this weapon contains a molecular-level monofilament in the edge.  It is a long sword with a +1 bonus to hit and to damage but it completely ignores any protection from non-magical armor. Anyone being attacked by the blade will count as having AC 10 plus/minus agility modifier, plus any magical bonuses from spells or defensive items (so for example, an opponent in +3 Plate armor with a 0 agility modifier would count as having AC13).

5. The Crappy Dagger of Ugbo Spleeneater
A crude-looking dagger of primitive halfling construction, this dagger grants +1 to hit and damage. However, any creature struck by the dagger must make a fortitude save vs. DC14 or void their bowels.  The intensity of this sudden expulsion will give the victim of the attack a -1 penalty to attacks, AC, and saving throws for the next 1d10 minutes.  Every subsequent time the victim is struck by the dagger, they will continue to have horrific colon spasms which will given another cumulative -1 penalty.  This dagger also enhances its wielder's sense of smell (granting a +4 bonus to any detection roll based on sense of smell while wielding the dagger).  The dagger is chaotic and has an intelligence of 7, and being of halfling sorcery, it will dominate any wielder of lesser intelligence and fill them with an irresistible desire to eat the flesh of their slain enemies as is halfling tradition.

6. The Not So Wee Bonnie Claymore of Angus Mac Bastard
This two-handed sword grants a +1 to hit and to damage.  In the hands of a chaos-aligned warrior it grants an extra +2 to hit and damage on any attack where the warrior makes a full running charge against his opponent.  This sword also grants the wielder the power to speak and understand the Scot Man language.

7. The Absurdly Over-sized Battle Axe of Borquart Son of Botox
This Dwarf weapon is a two-handed axe of immense size, to the point of being inconvenient.  It can only be effectively used at all by someone who has a strength of 16 or higher, and if they have less than 18 strength they will only be able to use it with a one-step reduction in the action dice rolled to hit (so a d20 attack roll would be reduced to a d16 attack roll); it will also reduce the wielder's initiative die by two steps.  
The Axe does 1d10 base damage, and has a +1 bonus to hit and to damage.  However, in the hands of a worthy dwarf warrior it will be usable for mighty deeds of arms to shatter any non-magical objects of glass, crystal, wood, metal or stone.  In the case of any large object (a wall, for example, or a robot), such mighty blows will do 4d10+4 damage (plus the wielder's strength bonus).  It will even be able to break magical objects of the above materials if the roll on the deed die was a 6 or higher.

8. The Sword of Singular Purpose
This +1 long sword was said to have been forged by the Ancient Ones themselves, to serve a great purpose at a precise moment of immeasurable importance.  It functions in all respects as an ordinary +1 long sword; but the legend holds that one day one shall wield it at that particular moment of destiny and then this sword, and only this sword, will have the power to strike down a great evil.  Of course, some speculate that given that the Ancients have completely vanished and the world has been a complete disaster for ten millennia, it may be possible that the apocalypse-avoiding opportunity for which the sword was forged was in fact unfortunately missed.

9. Grammaslayer
A dagger originally made for a particularly disgusting halfling rogue, this chaotic weapon (int 6) does +1 to hit and damage, but does double its usual damage against anyone over 65 years of age (note that the weapon is quite literal, it doesn't care about species, so it will do double damage to a 66+ year old human, or elf, or dragon, or immortal demon, etc.). It provides 60' infravision to the wielder.  If wielded by someone with less than the sword's own intelligence, the weapon will control the wielder and turn them toward the wanton murder and robbery of the weak and helpless at any viable opportunity (with "viable" not always meaning truly good odds of avoiding discovery, as the dagger itself is not that bright).

10. The Loreblade
Created by the human wizard Phellion at the time that Arkhome was ruled by the Techno-Minotaur, the Loreblade is said to be the most intelligent blade ever forged.  It is Lawful and has an intelligence of 18, and is capable of speech and telepathy.  It functions as a +1 Long Sword, but also has the quality of precision strikes (granting it an addition +3 to hit against any armored opponent).  It also grants +2 to the wielder's armor class.  On a critical hit, the Loreblade will also do 1d6 extra damage against an opponent in addition to any other result. The Loreblade can detect invisible creatures within 50', detect gold within 30', detect sloping passages to 100', read and understand most common languages (only the most obscure would likely to be unfamiliar to the blade), understand most maps at will, and is familiar with a great deal of knowledge of ancient history as well as lore about races and magical items: the sword has a +6 bonus on a d20 roll to know any piece of lore on any of those matters (and any others that the GM feels appropriate); but it should be noted that all of its information is now at least 500 years out of date, and it will know nothing about any recent events or developments from the past five centuries that it has been languishing in the petrified husk of a great wyrm.  
The Loreblade will generally co-operate only with someone of lawful alignment (refusing to use any of its powers for neutral or chaotic beings, for whom the sword will only act as an ordinary +1 long sword), and as it considers itself smarter than just about anyone who ever wields it, will have no compunctions about trying to manipulate or mentally control its wielder to do what the Loreblade thinks is best. The Loreblade's agenda will always be to attempt to rebuild civilization and create an enlightened society of lawful benign-despots (under the sword's direction, of course) that will establish peace and prosperity through power and spread its civilizing influence to the whole of the world, finally ending the long dark age.

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(November 4 ,2014)
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DCC Campaign Log
« Reply #29 on: November 17, 2015, 11:41:24 PM »
DCC Campaign Log: Eat, Pray, Save Vs. Dragon Breath


In this week's adventure, the PCs found:

-that dwarves have a very serious obsession with entering cave complexes from the back entrance.

-that apparently, there's a novel based on an encounter with Tiamat entitled "Eat, Pray, Save vs. Dragon Breath"

-that the lair of the most powerful dragon in the world also features what is quite possibly the largest pile of dragon dung in the world.

-that dwarves are not particularly good at sneaking around in deep caverns.

-that any possibility of entering a cave complex without alerting its inhabitants goes out the window when you have a bakers-dozen of dwarf warriors who insist on bickering at full volume.

-that any remaining scrap of possibility of being undetected by every denizen in the greater cave complex area will go entirely out the window once the dwarves deploy their rocket launcher.

-that not all superintelligent Fungus creatures are hostile.

-that non-hostile superintelligent Fungus creatures do, however, speak with the silliest speech impediment ever.

-that the Egg Beyond has not only broken through the Ancient Ones' barrier-seal containing the last remnant of the universe, but that it has also brought Cosplayers with it.

-that sometimes it's harder to communicate with extra-universal catgirl cosplayers than with superintelligent Fungus Creatures.

-that superintelligent Fungus Creatures are psychic, and thus make excellent translators.

-that Extra-universal Catgirl Cosplayers are ridiculously annoying.

-that if you're clever, you can sometimes avoid having to fight primitive Troglodytes.

-that even if you're clever, you can't always avoid having to slaughter a horde of Tiamat cultists and their Dragonmen allies. But if you're clever in how you go about it, it can be a lot easier than it looks... especially if you have dwarven magnetic grenades.

-that Tiamat is obviously very badly damaged by his/her encounter with the Egg Beyond.

-that nevertheless, it might be a challenge to kill Tiamat when he/she is surrounded by a small army of cultists, dragonmen, wizards and troglodyte shamans.

-that magically sacrificing an extra-universal catgirl cosplayer will win you points with Sezrekan.

-that, on the other hand, not letting your allies know what you're doing is likely to cause a panic that will ruin the element of surprise, or any chance of avoiding a fight with Tiamat's small army.

-that ending on a cliffhanger will leave your players on the edge of their seats for the next session.

RPGPundit

(November 14, 2014)
LION & DRAGON: Medieval-Authentic OSR Roleplaying is available now! You only THINK you've played 'medieval fantasy' until you play L&D.


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The most famous uruguayan gaming blog on the planet!

NEW!
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Dark Albion: The Rose War! The OSR fantasy setting of the history that inspired Shakespeare and Martin alike.
Also available in Variant Cover form!
Also, now with the CULTS OF CHAOS cult-generation sourcebook

ARROWS OF INDRA
Arrows of Indra: The Old-School Epic Indian RPG!
NOW AVAILABLE: AoI in print form

LORDS OF OLYMPUS
The new Diceless RPG of multiversal power, adventure and intrigue, now available.