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Author Topic: There are Motherfucking Gnomes on this Motherfucking Pen  (Read 3008 times)

RPGPundit

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There are Motherfucking Gnomes on this Motherfucking Pen
« on: March 27, 2011, 01:27:33 AM »
Gnomes Rule the Corporate World
or "Gnomes On A Pen"

I think I may have mentioned to you guys before that I had long suspected that Jong worked for Mr. Scorpio, from that Simpsons episode. His company, in the free trade zone here in Montevideo, is just too good to be true in terms of pay and benefits, and rarely a week goes by that Jong didn't sing its praises.

Well, now, the Wench has joined the ranks of that company's employees.  But she has been working there not a month, and already she has uncovered the real truth. It is not a kindly old Mr. Scorpio, some bondish supervillain who merely wants to blow up France and conquer the east coast, which is behind the company where Jong and The Wench work, no, its the GNOMES.

My proof? The other day, The Wench innocently offered, when people were talking about how they needed to buy a kettle for the lunchroom, to bring our old electric kettle. We don't use it, and it was no problem for her or us. Her supervisor immediately rewards her team spirit, by offering her this as a prize:



That's right, its a GNOME. A GNOME, ON A MOTHERFUCKING PEN!!

Now we know who's running the show there. And clearly, the Gnomes have nothing more than murder in mind, as usual. Because let me tell you, that gnome hat point is fucking SHARP. When I showed the pen accusingly at Jong, he suffered a major injury, a Gnome Pen Hat-tip Related Stabbing in the Hand.  Fucker deserves it though, working for the Gnomes all these years.

The Wench and I have decided meanwhile, after carefully consulting the scriptures, that she's going to stay on there, in the hopes of rooting out the Gnomes and taking them out from within.

But all of you, be wary; the Gnomes may have secretly infiltrated your corporate structure too! You might think you're working for The Man, when you're really working for THE GNOMES.

RPGPundit

(March 27, 2010)
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Ian Warner

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There are Motherfucking Gnomes on this Motherfucking Pen
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2011, 01:19:13 PM »
Scary!
Directing Editor of Kittiwake Classics

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There are Motherfucking Gnomes on this Motherfucking Pen
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2011, 09:01:44 PM »
Indeed!

RPGPundit
LION & DRAGON: Medieval-Authentic OSR Roleplaying is available now! You only THINK you've played 'medieval fantasy' until you play L&D.


My Blog:  http://therpgpundit.blogspot.com/
The most famous uruguayan gaming blog on the planet!

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Dark Albion: The Rose War! The OSR fantasy setting of the history that inspired Shakespeare and Martin alike.
Also available in Variant Cover form!
Also, now with the CULTS OF CHAOS cult-generation sourcebook

ARROWS OF INDRA
Arrows of Indra: The Old-School Epic Indian RPG!
NOW AVAILABLE: AoI in print form

LORDS OF OLYMPUS
The new Diceless RPG of multiversal power, adventure and intrigue, now available.