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Author Topic: Gnomemurdered 1e: Sourcebook 1  (Read 943 times)


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Gnomemurdered 1e: Sourcebook 1
« on: December 30, 2009, 11:44:47 AM »
(note, the material from this edition of the game has now been replaced with material in Gnomemurdered 2e; use old rules at your own risk!)

Gnomemurdered: Sourcebook 1

Ok, here's where we get to the problem with rules-lite games. People have claimed that my incrediby successful rules-lightest-game Gnomemurdered is somehow "Unplayable". Despite the fact that it may have by now been played by MILLIONS, some fuckers seriously want to to suggest that its somehow not viable for long-term play.

I would suggest that they're simply not playing it right. So what you're reading right now is Gnomemurdered: Sourcebook 1, meant to expand on the understanding of the game, without making the rules any less light-ier. Think of this as the GM's guide.

Addressing the Question of Failure Rates

The chief complication that Gnomemurdered GMs run into is the matter of how if any action rolled for has a 50% chance that your PC will be murdered by Gnomes, this makes for a very unstable campaign, supposedly.

Well, the answer is very simple: Don't make them roll for just ANYTHING. In most actions, just assume success. If its something a reasonable version of the character they have chosen ought to be able to succeed at, then they succeed. There's no reason to have the character make a roll, if he's a surgeon, to see if a standard or even a tough operation is successful. The surgeon should only have to roll if its an extremely risky or experimental surgery, or there is some other factor creating an intense situation of risk where there might be a chance of failure.

In other words, its in moments of crisis that the gnomes strike.

On the Subject of Gnome Murder

Some small-minded philistines have said "Your game makes no fucking sense! Why do gnomes just show up and kill you?".

My first answer to that would be, "Sir, clearly you don't know gnomes very well".

Let me remind these philistines that Gnomemurdered has been an incredibly successful game for just under a week now, and has possibly maybe been played by MILLIONS of people.

Beyond that, I think my section above on "failure rates" clarifies any doubts about why Gnomes would show up.  Obviously its not that Gnomes would just show up during a mundane action, that's why in the Gnomemurdered RPG; one of the most realistic RPGs ever made, success is automatic for mundane actions. The Gnomes attack when you are in a crisis situation, when you are trying to strive for excellence, because they despise anything that is not mediocre, and feast on the pleasure of striking someone down just at their moment of glory.

Appendix I: The Gnomes Have Arrived Rule

The one and only really glaring omission from the original Gnomemurdered RPG is the question of what happens once the Gnomes arrive.  Obviously, the game should proceed as normal for the setting being used, until such time as a player character takes an action that the GM judges requires a roll.  If the Player succeeds the roll, things continue on as normal.

But once a Player Fails a roll, and is murdered by Gnomes, from that point on, the Gnomes are there. You can't just ignore them!
The adventure should continue, as originally intended, but with the addition of a group of murderous gnomes lurking around. These gnomes should have their own agenda, though it might not be clear what side they're on, they may not necessarily be on the side of the adventure's antagonist, and may be just as willing to kill him in the service of their Dark Gnome Gods as they are the PCs. Then again, the villain of the adventure may have made some kind of a deal with the Gnomes in exchange for his miserable life. Its wide open!

Once the Gnomes are present in the adventure, the other (surviving) PCs will have to try to deal with the Gnomes. Here are some rules with regard to that:
1. The Gnomes should have their own particular agenda in the adventure. Maybe they're working with the villain, maybe they're as much a thorn in his side as everyone else's. Maybe they want the artifact everyone's trying to get. Maybe their goal is to steal garments. Perhaps they're trying to take over a local bakery concern. The point is that the GM must play the Gnomes realistically.
2. No matter what, the Gnomes will NOT be on the side of the PCs, though its possible for some dastardly PC to make a deal with them or for the players to try to negotiate or make a temporary truce with the Gnomes. This does not affect the basic mechanic of the system. If a PC fails a roll after a deal has been made, it simply means that the Gnomes have chosen that moment to go back on their word. Remember, gnomes have no honor.
3. The PCs may wish to fight the Gnomes. This is fine, and there may be some advantages that they can use if they have some kind of Gnome lore. Remember that gnomes are attracted to gold, will fight even among themselves, and explode if thrown from a sufficient height.  You as GM must keep this in mind, but the players and their characters may or may not know any of this at first, depending on the setting.
In any case, when entering into actual physical combat with the Gnomes, it is ALWAYS a situation that demands a roll. You cannot fight a Gnome fairly in hand-to-hand combat without the inherent risk of being murdered by Gnomes.

Appendix II: Character Creation Addendum

It shouldn't even bear mentioning, but obviously player characters can NOT play Gnomes.

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