Hell with it, i'm gonna give a shot.  Buck pulls his .38 out and, arm outstretched, fires a round towards the ogress's head.

Jeez, man....dice at the house.....somebody hip me to a darned virtual dice roller!

Found one....I have a 71% Missile Attack...2-7 Damage if I hit....I roll..........................Got a 43%....think i hit.

[Sorry, fellas - no internets at work yesterday, then came home to real life.]

Like a retching dog, Quazarn backs away from the "burger", hacking and clawing at his mouth -- as if he could remove the taste.  "AAAAAH!" he blares, "GYEEEAAGH!  Moons of Meepzor, what in the Stink-Pits of Groobloid was THAT?!"  

He stumbles toward the nearest being, clutching at his or her shoulders, and wheezes, "Water!  Please, WATER!"

This action, as it happens, is bound to have disastrous results.

(Haaa! HA!!..man, brilliant shit...."Moons of Meepzor...Stink-Pits of Groobloid"!! HA!)

Quazarn stumbles into an Amazon verminator two tables over, who gasps at his garbage-mouth and shoves him away.  He collides heavily with her table, and watches with fascination as the iron cage resting there clangs to the floor.  He thinks he smells the whiff of doom, but it turns out to be his breath*.  

At the bar the Creature still wrestles with the crazed ogress.  Using her alarmingly strong thighs she wrenches him over a sink behind the bar, grabs a flexible tap and sprays him full in the face with skunked ale.  "Maaarinade," she growls.

Before the ogress can shove the beer tap down the Creature's throat Buck's bullet slams into her shoulder.  Her grip slackens and the Creature clobbers her.  She topples off and into the bar stools in a brawny heap.

Through it all Zarko watches, cool as a chimp in carbonite, rolling his toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other.

[Rolled See the Future on Quazarn's behalf, but his prediction of disaster did not come true.  Alas?  The ogress rolled a Great Feat to oppose Creature's Lesser Feat, hence his hosedown.  Because of Buck's bullet I ruled Creature could still make his melee ATT.

[I rolled damage for Buck & the Creature to keep things moving.  Please feel free to roll your own damage along with a successful attack.]

Based on "her" appearance and incredible strength, the Creature suspects there might be more to this Ogress than meets the eye and give a quick kick to the junk...well assuming there is junk to kick.

Melee Attack roll 99%+5%Hiccup penalty=104% Success!

Damage=11 (plus any junk related special effects)

The Creature learns that the ogre is indeed female.  Also, quite thoroughly deceased.

"Guess it's time to look for a new gig," sighs Pixie.  "You guys just greased Rollo."

Buck surveys the damage around "Rollos" (what's the scene?  People wiggin' out, er what?).  Buck goes over to the Creature, "Good boy....!", pats him on the shoulder..."You okay?".

Buck turns to Pixie, "How about gigging with us?  We could use some brains and brawn. Pay may not be perfecto right this second, but I plan on making some dough in this town pretty quick.  If you ain't interested in tagging along with us, I bet I could get you hired over at "Churchy's" in about five seconds, after this, but then again you seem like you might be a little too bright for any of this slopping hash biz."

"Churchy's?" Zarko asks, innocently. "What, they open that dive again?" He rolls his eyes, then throws Pixie a wink.

Creature shakes the ogress's head a little bit (like Kong shaking the dead T-Rex whose jaw he just snapped).  Satisfied that she is dead, he intones: "Creature no like this place.  Creature no eat here anymore. Where is Bigby Smalls"

Quote from: ttagxamm;241016"Guess it's time to look for a new gig," sighs Pixie.  "You guys just greased Rollo."

[Absolutely freain' BRILLIANT, Mr Max!  I was just told by somone nearby that I was "havin' too much fun" over here, I laughed so hard...]

"Sorry," bleats Quazarn to the Verminatrix.  "I didn't -- "  His face contorts into the kind of look you see in cheap slapstick holos.  "Toss me a Sensor Ring", he mutters, "is that stink coming out of me...?"

Bemused by the, umn, proceedings, Quazarn, The Cool Guy, straightens himself out, shakes out his collar, brushes a speck off of his sleeve and casually (though with an unmistakable look of surprise on his face) leans against a nearby pole.  

He holds up his hand in the Universal "I'm Cool" sign, and nods consentually at Buck and The Creature.

In the aftermath of the puke fest and punch-up the burger shack that used to be Rollo's is quiet.  The Honchos are gathering up their leather trenchcoats to leave, one of them clearly still on the edge of hysterics despite his efforts to look tough.  The dwarfess at the bar coughs up a final butterfly.  Here and there a dry heave or a wretched gasp interrupts the low murmuring of voices.

"Blasted she-goat had it coming...."
"...thought she was a him?..."
"...the hell's an Entropian anyway?"
"...getting so's ya can't eat a burger in this town..."
"...hooked on polymorphine..."
"...the cops?"
"Ppfft. GCPD couldn't find dirt if that there frankenstein were standin' on thur heads"

"Maybe you're right," says Pixie to Buck and Zarko, rubbing the back of her neck.  "Slinging suds and cuds is just a day job anyway.  Sure as hell not going to Churchy's."  She calls out to the Creature, "If you want Bigby you'll need to talk to Darryl's Mom."

Gold and purple butterflies swoop lazily around the room, flashing like neon in the late afternoon sunlight shining through a high window.

[Sorry boys, Critical Failure vs. Poetaster at the end there.  I'll try not to let it happen again ]

"Darryl's mom....Darryl's Mom is hawt" remembering the writing on the bathroom stall.  "Where is Darryl's Mom?" Creature asks Pixie as he makes his way toward the rear exit of the restaurant.

Buck turns to Zarko, "You know much about this Bigby Smalls?  We need to get Creature to this character.  Whaddya think?"

"We're glad to have you aboard Pixie.  Do YOU know anything about either Smalls or Daryl's Mom?  You know what gang, let's get out of here.  I don't think it's a good idea for all of us to be hanging around."