X Cards are not something that makes a whole lot of sense to me. But I don't think this theory explains them.

As Omega posted

Quote from: Omega;1060387I think though there is a big difference between someone stating a reasonable "that makes me uncomfortable..." and "I'd rather not have that theme present." with "I demand you remove anything that even slightly offends my delicate sensibilities!" and "Oh gawwwwd! Take it away! Momeeeee! sob-sob!" hysteronics.

Instead of talking with the DM/GM and trying to find a common ground on what they want or don't want to see at the table. Some players refuse to assume their responsabilites. If one is totally against slavery why play in a campaign or even worse not mention at session zero. No it's the DM/GM who is to be a mind reader of course. Over on another forum their are players who apprently cry over a random dog being killed in a module because that player likes dogs. Once, twice three times you will be told to get a pair or ask to leave the campaign. I don't care what your gender is. It's venturing into needing to go see a mental health care specialist and it's not the table job let alone their responsibility to need to put up with it constantly imo.

To give another real world example. I work in customer service and people have to give their apartment numbers when setting up deliveries. Suddenly it seems to way too many it's optional. They call in angry and yelling assuming the person who made the order was going to ask them. All the salesperson needs to do is ask for their address. Why would anyone not give their apartment number. Then they demand compensation ( a bribe ) for their time wasted. Go haead and go to the Better Business Bureau and see how they don't do anything because they screwed up. It's also when they move and think that everyone else like companies and the government will update their personal information. We don't and were not allowed without a person permission.

I despise X-cards because it gives a player a reason not to assume their responsabilities as a player.

Quote from: jhkim;1060305I'm not an advocate for the use of the X-card, but this hypothesis seems stupid to me.

These are make-believe games I play for fun. I know goddamn well that I have to live with things I don't like in real life. In my games, I want all the players to have fun - not teach them life lessons. Like if we're going out to dinner after the game, and I know that David hates Thai food, then I'm going to suggest we go some place that everyone likes - not go out to Thai food and tell David "Toughen up - you've go to learn to live with things you don't like". That's not being working class, that's being an asshole.

I'm not convinced that the X-card is a better approach for everyone to have fun, but I do subscribe to the bigger principle of taking everyone's preferences into account, and trying to make sure everyone has fun.

Right, but when David doesn't like Thai, Beth doesn't like Italian, Jo won't eat Mexican and Anne won't eat seafood you end up always going to generic restaurant B for steak.  And you know what, sometimes I don't want steak because damn it we've gone for steak every time for the last 6 months and I do like Italian and Mexican and seafood and Thai.  So sometimes you have to look David (or Beth or Jo or Anne) in the face and say you are sorry, but tonight we're going for X and I know you don't like that so we'll catch you next time.  That's not being an asshole, that's just being honest.  And if someone has a problem with not getting their way every once and a while and having to not participate, well, boo-fucking-hoo.

It's the same with gaming.  My weekly group is made up of friends who've known each other for at least 12 years now.  Some go back almost 20.  If we excluded everything someone didn't like we'd be playing vanilla D&D all the damn time.  It's because people are willing to bend and shift their tastes that we're still together and not bored in our gaming.  Sure, Anne may not like modern horror games, but she's happy to either find something that will keep her interest within that set-up or let us know she's just going to sit that one out.  We don't need an X-card because we're all adult enough to talk to each other and make our own decisions.

I've never used or needed X cards but I dont play with degenerates either.

These are silly make believe games. We slay dragons and hunt trolls, we play cowboys and Indians, or westerns in space.

If you're fucking playing a game and some landwhale or pear shaped engineer wants to start having sex scenes or other bullshit, I'm not getting an x card but I'm getting up and finding new people to play with.

Only weirdos would run a game where an x card would be needed. But we have a lot of weirdos in this hobby.

Quote from: Alderaan Crumbs;1060374It's in the hands of NPCs.

'Shit writes itself, yo.

Quote from: rgalex;1060431Right, but when David doesn't like Thai, Beth doesn't like Italian, Jo won't eat Mexican and Anne won't eat seafood you end up always going to generic restaurant B for steak.  And you know what, sometimes I don't want steak because damn it we've gone for steak every time for the last 6 months and I do like Italian and Mexican and seafood and Thai.  So sometimes you have to look David (or Beth or Jo or Anne) in the face and say you are sorry, but tonight we're going for X and I know you don't like that so we'll catch you next time.  That's not being an asshole, that's just being honest.  And if someone has a problem with not getting their way every once and a while and having to not participate, well, boo-fucking-hoo.

It's the same with gaming.  My weekly group is made up of friends who've known each other for at least 12 years now.  Some go back almost 20.  If we excluded everything someone didn't like we'd be playing vanilla D&D all the damn time.  It's because people are willing to bend and shift their tastes that we're still together and not bored in our gaming.  Sure, Anne may not like modern horror games, but she's happy to either find something that will keep her interest within that set-up or let us know she's just going to sit that one out.  We don't need an X-card because we're all adult enough to talk to each other and make our own decisions.

You game at most once a week. You can sack up and have steak one night a week so everybody can enjoy a good meal.

Quote from: Lurtch;1060433You game at most once a week. You can sack up and have steak one night a week so everybody can enjoy a good meal.

Sometimes like Rgalex I don't want Steak. So just like I have to sack up and have steak. The others can also sack up and eat something other than Steak. It's a two way street. I no longer hang out with some of my older gaming group. They also wanted to eat at the corner restaurant in their area because it was not too expensive. Which I understand and ate there as well eventually I became tired of the same food and went elsewhere. They were too cheap to eat anywhere else but my life and what I want does not revolve around them only.

No one is saying don't compromise. Some us refuse to compromise all the damn team. Especially when it's one sided. Sometimes people can't get what they want. Shocker I know but I'm not always interested in eating at greasy spoon style burger joints simply because they are cheap. Or Frank is vegan. It's his choice yet I like meat and not going to stop eating it not for one member of the group.

There is a reason why pepperoni and cheese pizza are the most popular. You may like anchovies but we go with the broader way to eat pizza or play silly pretend games so everyone can have fun.

If you want to roleplay sexual nonsense or extreme violence then find a specific group to do that. Or just tell the normal person who doesn't want to watch landwhales and Mr. Manboobs talk about their sexual tastes that the group has changed and unless he wants to be playing with degenerates he might want a new group.

X cards are stupid. And I've never seen them used in the real world and only talked about on forums by people that I dont think actually play games.

The example from moving to horror from a vanilla d&d game is something the group can vote on. If 3/5  players want to play a horror game because its October and sounds fun the 2/3 that dont can sack up and play. These are games and usually the core of every game doesn't change regardless of the setting.

X cards usually always relate to sex or extreme violence.

I like Pepperoni and Cheese pizza like the next gamer. I'm not going to shovel it down my mouth if I'm not in the mood to have it and order something else. It's a group activity yes but I see no need to be the one to compromise all the time. If the rest of the group is unwilling to eat anything else I can respect that. They can also respect that not everyone is going to be in the mood for Pizza. Thankfully I game with normal people who understand that.

Quote from: Lurtch;1060439The example from moving to horror from a vanilla d&d game is something the group can vote on. If 3/5  players want to play a horror game because its October and sounds fun the 2/3 that dont can sack up and play. These are games and usually the core of every game doesn't change regardless of the setting.

Which is how must tables function. Except if you go by what the SJWs think. One is not only supposed to bend over backwards to accommodate the 2/3 that refuse to play. One is not even allowed to tell them to sack up and play. My real example of a player crying over a random npc dog being killed off and crying. Well not only are we supposed to accept it whenever it happens. We are also not allowed to tell that player to stop no matter how disruptive  it is to the game or anyone else. Telling someone to sack up is also considered being privileged it's also smacks of being misogynistic if your male. Bullshit to me yet it seems to be the pablum that SJWs thrive on.

Quote from: Omega;1060387I think though there is a big difference between someone stating a reasonable "that makes me uncomfortable..." and "I'd rather not have that theme present." with "I demand you remove anything that even slightly offends my delicate sensibilities!" and "Oh gawwwwd! Take it away! Momeeeee! sob-sob!" hysteronics.

I have on many occasions told a player "I'd rather not have that theme present." or been told much the same and we worked around that. I have had a rare few sessions where a subject got introduced out of the blue and it put me off playing. Usually I have a talk with the player about it after and explain why.

This sounds to me like the opposite of the OP. The OP specifically had the example of someone expressing discomfort, and that the reaction should be to ridicule them and presumably ignore the request - hypothesizing that they are an overprotected middle-class child.

I haven't used the X-card in games that I run, but I've played in many games (probably over a dozen) at conventions that use an X-card. They weren't full of any sobbing or histrionics. In fact, the X-card was never used that I saw. It was just a reassurance, it seems. (I have seen histrionics at games that bugged me, but they weren't ones with an X-card.)

I'm not advocating for the X-card here, but I don't agree with the logic of the OP. In the bigger picture, I favor your approach where if a player expresses discomfort then working around that, as opposed to mocking them and theorizing about their psychological issues.

Quote from: Lurtch;1060433You game at most once a week. You can sack up and have steak one night a week so everybody can enjoy a good meal.

Go to Applebee's or such. They have eveything. Or bring your own food. Or order from different places. Who the fuck are some people hanging out with that such trivialities are a problem?!

I draw the line at bacon, though. Hate bacon? You're out!

Quote from: Alderaan Crumbs;1060454Go to Applebee's or such. They have eveything. Or bring your own food. Or order from different places. Who the fuck are some people hanging out with that such trivialities are a problem?!

Do not under estimate the notorious cheapness of some gamers. I had a player who would eat expired food to save money. "That cheese has mold no problem remove the mold it's still good". They will spend 40-60$ or more on rpgs and such. Applebee's or the non-American equivalent they suddenly were always "broke" and Applebee's "expensive".

Quote from: Lurtch;1060432I've never used or needed X cards but I don't play with degenerates either.

Lurtch you nailed it from my perspective.  

However, if I am at a convention the time is limited and not inviting the player to next session isn't really much of an approach.  If (and this has never happened and I have sat down with some real weirdos) someone is being over-the-top offensive, I'm not afraid to say something like "Do you mind laying off describing your cannibalistic necropilia fetish in such great detail each time?  I think after the 10th meal/episode we get it, your character is a flat out freak."  And if the individual does not desist, then anyone and everyone is free to walk.  Of course, if the judge/gm/dm tells the player to lay off, then that's the table rule and the player needs to decide if a mere nod to his culinary/sexual deviancy is sufficient.

I think x cards are an RPG manifestation of Safe Space culture.

I am in favour of games abiding by community standards of decency and having appropriate age ratings, defaulting to something like pg-13 or UK 12 or 15 I guess. I think extreme material is different from having a special snowflake player.

I sympathise with my player who found the gore in Hook Mountain Massacre icky. I don't expect to X card sinking ships because of my personal issues there and I don't think it would be fair on anyone else at the table to bring it up.

Quote from: Lurtch;1060432I've never used or needed X cards but I dont play with degenerates either.

These are silly make believe games. We slay dragons and hunt trolls, we play cowboys and Indians, or westerns in space.

If you're fucking playing a game and some landwhale or pear shaped engineer wants to start having sex scenes or other bullshit, I'm not getting an x card but I'm getting up and finding new people to play with.

Only weirdos would run a game where an x card would be needed. But we have a lot of weirdos in this hobby.

^^This sums it up for me.

I wouldn't want to have someone at my game table who was so psychologically fragile that they insisted on using X-cards.

Quote from: sureshot;1060458Do not under estimate the notorious cheapness of some gamers. I had a player who would eat expired food to save money. "That cheese has mold no problem remove the mold it's still good". They will spend 40-60$ or more on rpgs and such. Applebee's or the non-American equivalent they suddenly were always "broke" and Applebee's "expensive".

Yeah, I have met people like that...