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Anyone else prefer an even mix of male & female players?

Started by S'mon, June 06, 2016, 07:50:02 AM

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JongWK

#90
Quote from: Trond;904688Duh. Recent controversies have shown us that at least one of these must be wrong, since you yourself are either male or female (I presume) :D

I assure you, they are all correct. Here's a selfie I took to prove it.


(Alternatively, I didn't include myself among the players...) :p
"I give the gift of endless imagination."
~~Gary Gygax (1938 - 2008)


Gormenghast


yosemitemike

I want reasonably mature players who show up when they say they are going to show up and who actually want to play the game the rest of us are playing.  I don't care if they are men or women.
"I am certain, however, that nothing has done so much to destroy the juridical safeguards of individual freedom as the striving after this mirage of social justice."― Friedrich Hayek
Another former RPGnet member permanently banned for calling out the staff there on their abdication of their responsibilities as moderators and admins and their abject surrender to the whims of the shrillest and most self-righteous members of the community.

Shemek hiTankolel

Quote from: yosemitemike;904870I want reasonably mature players who show up when they say they are going to show up and who actually want to play the game the rest of us are playing.  I don't care if they are men or women.

My sentiments exactly.

Shemek
Don\'t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Mark Twain

PrometheanVigil

Quote from: Xúc xắc;902156You can tell they are attractive because you can see how many interested potential mates they are attracting. You don't have to be attracted to someone or something to notice how much attention they get from those who are.



I know from experience that it cuts both ways. Being a very attractive guy is nice when you want attention. It makes it easy to get service in restaurants, bars, or hotels because the food service and hospitality industries are heavily staffed by people who are attracted to good looking guys. I never have to wave or shout to get a server's attention when I want something because they're usually waiting for me to make eye contact. Air travel in Asia is really easy because the receptionists are always young women who always seem nice enough to call me over to the business/first class check in counter for help when I'm waiting in the economy class line.

On the other hand, it's hard to have a quiet moment alone as an anonymous customer. When I go to a coffee shop, I like to just sit quietly and read something while i enjoy my coffee and scone. I feel like I'm forced to be rude when waitresses try to chat and flirt with me and I need to brush them off so I can have some alone time.

Overall, it's definitely a net positive, but there are downsides. The downsides are probably a bit more pronounced for attractive women because men are much more aggressive about showing their attraction and a bit more clueless about giving up when their target isn't interested. When women try to make excuses to touch me (feeling my arm or rubbing my shoulders or pressing her chest up against mine "to see how tall" I am, etc.), it's not physically threatening because they're almost always smaller than me. An attractive woman would probably be a bit more freaked out by guys grabbing them.

Amen, brother.

I got a free bottomless drink from Nandos the other day because of both this and the fact that I'm a fair hand at chit-chat. I had forgotten to order one, didn't have a fiver on me (paid on card and they charge like three quid for that crap) but she was cool and just grabbed one for me anyway with a bit of a cheeky smile. She had purple highlights in and like kinda 50's makeup on, one of those alternative rockabilly type. Was cool. Small things like that, totally get this.

I find it also makes it a hellva lot easier when explaining RPGs to non-gamer women, doing "recruiting" for the club, running games (especially with sexual content) or just generally nerding out with people. I think being above-average in looks kinda blurs the danger sense a little bit for people so they're less "frightened" of you are, like, more at ease with you in a weird way. And being 6'6", having a tank build (I AMZ NATURAEL 'EAVY GUNNAR'), and people straight up telling me I can be intimidating at times because of my size and presence, I definitely appreciate the aesthetics assist from my genetics.

You will get guys trying to size you up, though. Like they have some kinda insecurity complex or something. Acting tough or talkin' slick. It annoys me, especially when I'm just walking or doing my thing. Some of em' get real weird, like hold their girlfriends closer and stuff. I'm not gonna steal your woman or something, jeez.

Quote from: JesterRaiin;902165

I saw an emprah one you did plus this one and your avatar: hilarious, hah hah! And of course you had to be called Jester.

Quote from: Crüesader;902241Many folks would be shocked at how many attractive women play these games, or are at least willing to look into them.  I'm not going to sit and say that I've had hot chicks in bikinis all over my gaming table making lustful eyes at me, but the female players I've gamed with are usually a split between 'pretty and cool' and 'not really pretty, maybe a bit older, but like a big-sister cool'.  There's a few 'average' girls I've played with, but IMHO if she likes cool shit and geeks out, she gets +10 bonus points.

I had a friend many years ago, who was drop-dead gorgeous.  She and I had a brief thing but we remained friends, and she's one that genuinely meant it.  She went through a spell where all she was meeting was horrible douchebag guys that just wanted to go get drunk and meet at the hips, then ignore her for their buddies or whatever football game was on.  She would meet me for coffee and ask what she was doing wrong, and I kind of had to explain to her that if you're not having fun together with your clothes on, then you've just got a committed fuck-buddy pretending to be in a relationship with you.  So she asked about stuff guys do, she came and did some D20 future with me and some friends, and she actually liked it.  She ended up getting into Pathfinder and became kind of a WTF attraction at the FLGS, and ended up working there part-time.  Now she's married to a 40k geek that I used to play with, and he's actually a successful orthopedic surgeon... so, the moral of the story is that geek stuff makes cool attractive women even MORE cool and attractive.

Oh, and she Cosplays.  And despite how hot she is, she does a lot of superhero girls for sick childrens' events.

I Hit It With My Axe is a great example of that (though none of them are crazy hot -- Skin Diamond's the only one reaching that of Zak's extended group, maybe Satienne too). Funny thing is, attractive people attract other attractive people. My club is about a third made up of aesthetically-pleasing people but then we attract a lot of actors, artist-types, you know how it is.

Quote from: Xisiqomelir;902248Assuming a party of 4+1 DM/GM/ST:

-Just one unattached chick will end up scared off because of creepy unwashed loser syndrome.
-Conversely a female player who is a wife/gf/loveslave of another ({fe}male) player will be totally fine because she's "taken" and that will be respected
-One out lesbian girl will be fine assuming she has no ingrained anti-male hostility
-2f2m is probably ideal assuming the girls can be chatty and gregarious
-3f1m should be fun for broheim

#1 is would be hilarious if it weren't so true.

And bro, do you not lift?

Quote from: TristramEvans;902252Standard of discourse: Raised!

Huzzah!

Quote from: yabaziou;902300Are you as talented as the average RPG guy playing a woman PC ? ^_^

And I am somehow convinced that S'mon only initiated this thread to boast about the foxy woman he happens play RPG with ^_^ (for the record, I do prefer dating beautiful women over playing Tabletop RPG with them ! ^_^).

I find male portrayals of female characters tend to be...  "unsympathetic", to put it politely. I've got one guy in my game so far who's been fine but he's a bit of a rarity in my experience. And then one thing I've found is that women tend to be annoyed when m-f transgender people roleplay women because, like Jenner, they haven't experienced life as as a women and end up taking actions or saying things which are really presumpteous and offensive about how one would be.

Quote from: Ravenswing;902313As opposed to a rules-heavy RPG with large all-male groups that don't know how to play at all?  It's not as if possessing a penis confers some genetic knowledge of RPGs denied to women.

For my part, I don't see that it's mutually exclusive.  With the exception of my very first girlfriend, every woman with whom I've ever been involved (from my two wives to casual flings) have been gamers.

Anyway, in 39 years of this, I've never not had a woman at my table, and ran an all-woman group (that being at Smith College).  With one of them GMing her own homebrew, and three of them going on to become gamewriters, I don't figure they were lacking in technical expertise.

On sheer demographics, my groups have averaged 2/3 m to 1/3 f, although it's been more of an even split the last decade.  My preference is for more women, but it's a mild one.


*Pictured saying with an ashen cigar in one hand and a glass of glenfidditch in the other, with a slightly glazed look and stubble-grizzled face, particularly on subject of multiple wives*


Quote from: S'mon;902316That particular foxy woman may or may not be joining one of my groups, but yeah that was a catalyst. :D For some reason that particular campaign is a babe magnet, I already had two good looking female players in the group but they're more cute nerd girls, rather than Hollywood movie star looks.

Ideally I think I'd be both dating & playing Tabletop RPGs with the same beautiful women, though like I said as GM it can make focusing difficult, on a date it'd mean we always had something to talk about. Been dating again recently after separation, and 'let me tell you about my character' type talk doesn't go down so well with girls who've never heard of D&D...

One of the sexiest things a women can do is tell me their threat range. *wink*

Quote from: Orphan81;902320No, I just prefer having players.

I'm not saying it was aliens was the reason you don't have players.

But it was aliens.

Quote from: Nexus;902375The male player I've gamed with have generally played male or female characters but they may be the exceptions. The stigma attached to cross gender play has gone way down since I started gaming though.

I always end up having at least one transgender player in the group. Feels a little like being the Larry David of transgenders gamers sometimes.

Quote from: Crüesader;902483I hate to say it to you, but this is the entire reason I started a private gaming club.  It sounds like a dickish thing, but if I'm going to host any kind of game at my house I want people to understand that causing drama will get them ejected- by the police, if need be.  All of my gamers have invested into this group, they've financially supported it, and there's a degree of loyalty and support.  Because of this, the biggest 'argument' I've ever seen between them was more laughing and picking at each other than a real 'drama' situation.

We do try to do one game at the FLGS once a month with other people, just to see what's out there and learn the meta and find new guests to invite over.  Every now and then, we do find a loon or a creeper, and we just make a mental note of it.  One of my preferred tactics is to introduce myself to new players, shake hands and ask for names- and I'll write down those names in my notebook, and if they're scummy/weird/obnoxious?  I'll make a note of it so I can avoid them later.

Right now, ours is entirely focused on WH40k, but a couple of the guys have played some D&D to break the pace and we're very likely to start some Dark Heresy.  Not sure what sort of room that is in the local game community, as everyone in the area seems to have a hard-on the size of a polearm for Pathfinder.

I always threaten my players with defenstration. And now my regulars do it to our new players. Excelsior!

The worst thing are the weirdos who are totally oblivious to their behaviour and general presence.

I've done a Only War campaign. Literally had two seperate guys lose their shit when they couldn't play anymore and then when I had to shut it down. Is how much some players have gotten into my game, even moreso because it was Warhammer (and its hard to find a GM who'll let you use Commerce to get a decent, non-req Plaz, let alone know how Commerce would work).

On the flip side, potentially spinning off to do WHRP club in future would ensure domination of the London WHRP scene. Particularly with my acoly-- err, esteemed members promoting it! Only War rules used across the game lines, of course. Can't have no weird contortionist/acrobatics split, you understand.
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Nexus

Quote from: PrometheanVigil;905290I find male portrayals of female characters tend to be...  "unsympathetic", to put it politely. I've got one guy in my game so far who's been fine but he's a bit of a rarity in my experience. And then one thing I've found is that women tend to be annoyed when m-f transgender people roleplay women because, like Jenner, they haven't experienced life as as a women and end up taking actions or saying things which are really presumpteous and offensive about how one would be.

When I started running games online I had female players complaining about how some others female weren't acting like "real" women too either being to "masculine", too "girly", too sexually aggressive or prudish, etc.  But those characters were being played by women (ones I knew in RL). So sometimes I think that reaction is a combination of reality effecting expectation (you see a guy across the table and can't separate him from his character) and, well, people assuming there is some generic "right" way to play a woman or a mold that all women must fit. One that generally resembles them or fits their experiences. Its interesting how much it happens.

I've had fewer women playing men but for those few I've never gotten the same complaints (not acting like a "real man") even when its clear it was a woman playing them.
Remember when Illinois Nazis where a joke in the Blue Brothers movie?

Democracy, meh? (538)

 "The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of whom will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn't even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it."

JesterRaiin

Quote from: PrometheanVigil;905290And of course you had to be called Jester.

Affirmative!

[ATTACH=CONFIG]214[/ATTACH]
"If it\'s not appearing, it\'s not a real message." ~ Brett

Nexus

Aren't we leaving the other 17 (last I checked) genders out of the question? :D
Remember when Illinois Nazis where a joke in the Blue Brothers movie?

Democracy, meh? (538)

 "The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of whom will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn't even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it."

S'mon

Quote from: Nexus;905453Aren't we leaving the other 17 (last I checked) genders out of the question?

Ha ha ha.

Crüesader

To be honest, some of the very few man/lady issues I've had gaming (of any sort) in mixed group is not with female players, but because of female players- by no fault of the lady.  Some guys work a bit too hard to turn the group into something it isn't.  Most women that I've seen come to a group want it to be as fun as they'd heard or seen, and there's a couple of dudes that will try and 'soften' it up or 'language police' the group.  Then they praise everything the woman does, and it makes them uncomfortable.  

If your group is doing dick & fart jokes and having a blast, and a woman wants to be a part of it... don't change.

Nexus

Quote from: Crüesader;905493To be honest, some of the very few man/lady issues I've had gaming (of any sort) in mixed group is not with female players, but because of female players- by no fault of the lady.  Some guys work a bit too hard to turn the group into something it isn't.  Most women that I've seen come to a group want it to be as fun as they'd heard or seen, and there's a couple of dudes that will try and 'soften' it up or 'language police' the group.  Then they praise everything the woman does, and it makes them uncomfortable.  

If your group is doing dick & fart jokes and having a blast, and a woman wants to be a part of it... don't change.

Much of the time the women we play are the source of the more colorful jokes and commentary. :)
Remember when Illinois Nazis where a joke in the Blue Brothers movie?

Democracy, meh? (538)

 "The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of whom will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn't even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it."

Crüesader

Quote from: Nexus;905504Much of the time the women we play are the source of the more colorful jokes and commentary. :)

The one joke I've heard that made me throw up a little in my own mouth was from a woman.

RPGPundit

Quote from: JongWK;904844I assure you, they are all correct. Here's a selfie I took to prove it.


I can verify this.
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