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Author Topic: The bizarrely unexpected problems when a crusty Grognard looks for similar  (Read 4382 times)

Grognard GM

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So, as per my signature, I decided to end my RPG dry spell that started with Covid. So I put together a Tinder profile, err, looking for players/GM profile. I then post it anywhere on the net with players, that both do not have active Commissars checking papers, and no wall to wall pronouns and eye-melting flags. These turn out to be thin on the ground.

Then we have my second barrier, I am not looking to play or run D&D or its clones. Yes, that includes PathFinder.  Yes, that includes OSR. Hey, where did everybody go?
Roleplaying should just change it's name to 5E And The Gang, and be done with it.

So I'm in, I've filtered 99.99% of players, I'm home free, right? Nope, now comes the little interviews/chats. No problem, they've already seen what I am and are not looking for.

So first their are illiterates asking me to run Pathfinder or 5E. Sigh.

Then we have people where everything is going great, when suddenly what I would consider a minor point becomes a deal-breaker.
May not use a certain VTT for every game? They're out.
Don't want to run only the same game for years with no break? Out.
ONE game you're going to run has pregens? Out.
You're in the timezone you already mentioned? Out.

No problem, from the internet I have gathered the nerd-Avengers. A handful of elite men and women with the extraordinary ability to have spare time and not be an utter freak. Excelsior! Now I am truly in Zion, who wants to run or play anything?



Turns out, even with so called gung-ho players, getting something going is like pulling teeth/herding cats. OK, OK, I will run two games per week, just to get things going. Oh, there's actually only specific games you want to play or run. Which are different from the other incredibly specific things the others want to play or run... (sounds of sobbing and the click of a trigger)


So it seems to me that by specifically targeting older players with free time, I have tapped some kind of strange demographic of players that are not open to trying things, even short term. They would rather not play, than try a game they're unsure about. Rather than try a game they like the sound of, but it has pregens...
Or they want to GM, but it's one system, one setting. No multiple choice need apply.

I feel like I am taking crazy pills here. There are more players sitting inactive in the channel than there are playing. In a channel explicitly for gamers who sought me out to play games. If not for a few good-eggs the whole thing would be a wash.

As fellow old warhorses, are you guys this fossilized in your gaming foibles? Are there entire genres you won't play? Do you only ever run the same game system exclusively? This is all very weird, and wrong, and weirdy-wrong to me.
I'm a middle aged guy with a lot of free time, looking for similar, to form a group for regular gaming. You should be chill, non-woke, and have time on your hands.

See below:

https://www.therpgsite.com/news-and-adverts/looking-to-form-a-group-of-people-with-lots-of-spare-time-for-regular-games/

Jam The MF

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People in general, are difficult to get along with; and it's never their fault.  You, are always the problem.  Happy gaming!!!
Let the Dice, Decide the Outcome.  Accept the Results.

Bruwulf

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As fellow old warhorses, are you guys this fossilized in your gaming foibles? Are there entire genres you won't play? Do you only ever run the same game system exclusively? This is all very weird, and wrong, and weirdy-wrong to me.

I... yeah? Some?

I've never enjoyed supers. Not the comics, not most of the movies (I have a soft spot for the Iron Man movies, but that's about it), not the cartoons, and similarly, not the roleplaying games.

I don't like Toon. I also don't do diceless. I don't like Apocalypse World, or any of it's myriad spawn. I have other hangups. I like to think I'm pretty broad in my tastes and willingness to try different systems and game settings, but it's not unlimited, certainly. 

Grognard GM

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As fellow old warhorses, are you guys this fossilized in your gaming foibles? Are there entire genres you won't play? Do you only ever run the same game system exclusively? This is all very weird, and wrong, and weirdy-wrong to me.

I... yeah? Some?

I've never enjoyed supers. Not the comics, not most of the movies (I have a soft spot for the Iron Man movies, but that's about it), not the cartoons, and similarly, not the roleplaying games.

I don't like Toon. I also don't do diceless. I don't like Apocalypse World, or any of it's myriad spawn. I have other hangups. I like to think I'm pretty broad in my tastes and willingness to try different systems and game settings, but it's not unlimited, certainly.

This would be more akin to "I only want to do fantasy, but not High Fantasy."
I'm a middle aged guy with a lot of free time, looking for similar, to form a group for regular gaming. You should be chill, non-woke, and have time on your hands.

See below:

https://www.therpgsite.com/news-and-adverts/looking-to-form-a-group-of-people-with-lots-of-spare-time-for-regular-games/

Bruwulf

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I'm not saying that if my gaming life couldn't be a never-ending rotation of D&D, Warhammer Fantasy, Harnmaster, Call of Cthulhu, and Shadowrun, I wouldn't be sooo happy...

... But then I'd eventually miss Fading Suns, and White Wolf games, and Rifts, and...

Okay, I'm a gamer. My blood is thick with Coke and Doritos, my hands are calloused from rolling dice. I can't limit myself that much.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2023, 12:06:32 AM by Bruwulf »

Steven Mitchell

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As fellow old warhorses, are you guys this fossilized in your gaming foibles? Are there entire genres you won't play? Do you only ever run the same game system exclusively? This is all very weird, and wrong, and weirdy-wrong to me.

There's a fairly wide list that I would run in theory, but in practice it narrows pretty darn fast.  I've only got so much time for gaming, I love running in person, I love running longer campaigns, yada, yada, yada.  I'm not opposed to things other than S&S to heroic fantasy.  However, what happens is all the gonzo fantasy, superheroes, online games, historical campaigns, short campaigns, etc. get bumped down to about priority 4 or lower on a list of 10-15.  Which practically speaking means they don't happen right now. 

Working on my own system has cut this down even more, because now I've only got time for the top 2 things instead of top 3, and I honestly would rather work on that system than make priority 3 happen.  Out of the 20 odd players that I get to sometimes come to my 2 groups right now, they feel even more strongly about it.  They are fine playing a different system for a moderately long campaign (e.g. 18-24 months), but they do not want to change systems very often.  I'm the only one of all those people that even care about learning new systems.

My suggestion is find something you can get people to do, focus on that, get it working.  Then when it settles into a good groove, start something completely different, from scratch.  You can invite some of the players from the first group, but don't expect any takers.


Aglondir

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Are there entire genres you won't play?

Games which try to be deliberately funny, or games where you play as kids. I have friends who won't do genre X, and in each instance it's not because of the game, but the people they gamed with. Sadly, this one bad experience has scarred them for life. But I guess it is what it is.

Do you only ever run the same game system exclusively?

We have systems we like and systems we don't. That's sort of vague, so let me narrow it down. Both extremely rules lite and extremely rules heavy are out, for different reasons. We like rules medium games, like Savage Worlds, B/X stuff, D6, Traveller, D20 Modern.

This is all very weird, and wrong, and weirdy-wrong to me.

It's a weird world, and it's getting weirder. I've read some of your other posts, and I can see you're having a hard time. I don't know if my advice will be useful, since I don't game online and don't look for players online. But here it is, anyway. Advertise like this:

* I am 50, looking to GM for a committed group. Prefer older players (30+) or younger players with a mature mindset.
* I'm running a campaign set in Game of Thrones using Runequest (or whatever is your thing.)
* We meet every Saturday from 12 to 6. Bring snacks. 
* Mature players only. No smoking, no drinking, etc.

Don't:

* Mention "no politics" or "no Woke." Just stick to gaming and the things you like. 
* Be open-ended about things. "I am running X" and that's it. Don't even talk about other games.
* Compromise. Don't lower your standards or stray from your vision.

« Last Edit: February 04, 2023, 12:54:56 AM by Aglondir »

Jam The MF

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Why not just advertise what it is that you are looking to run?  Just filter people out, with your pitch.  "I am looking to run game "X", via ruleset "Y",  with true old school sensibilities.  If you can handle that, and that sounds like fun to you; let's try to set something up.

Then any further filtering, can take place in private.
Let the Dice, Decide the Outcome.  Accept the Results.

Grognard GM

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I've read some of your other posts, and I can see you're having a hard time.

I should be clear about this. Putting together players has been a LOT of work, way more than it would be if the hobby wasn't such a mess. I have some frustrations, I sometimes use hyperbole for comedic effect, and this site is about the only place for a guy to have a good moan about something without sparkle trolls parachuting in.

I've got two games starting up next week, and although it's slightly stressful (especially since I'm also learning a VTT to run them on!) it feels good to get something going, and I'm hoping the games will become self-perpetuating, and I'll also get to play.

I'm learning to use Fantasy Grounds, and I'll be slowly porting games to it (although, sadly, most have little to no inherent support,) which may even lure my wife in to playing again (she likes the ROLE part of roleplaying, but not the math.)

TLDR: I'm frustrated but hopeful.  8)
« Last Edit: February 04, 2023, 01:14:17 AM by Grognard GM »
I'm a middle aged guy with a lot of free time, looking for similar, to form a group for regular gaming. You should be chill, non-woke, and have time on your hands.

See below:

https://www.therpgsite.com/news-and-adverts/looking-to-form-a-group-of-people-with-lots-of-spare-time-for-regular-games/

Grognard GM

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Why not just advertise what it is that you are looking to run?  Just filter people out, with your pitch.  "I am looking to run game "X", via ruleset "Y",  with true old school sensibilities.  If you can handle that, and that sounds like fun to you; let's try to set something up.

Then any further filtering, can take place in private.

Look at my sig. I lay everything out, extensively list what I want to run, what I'd prefer to play. I went out of my way for clarity.

People simply don't read.
I'm a middle aged guy with a lot of free time, looking for similar, to form a group for regular gaming. You should be chill, non-woke, and have time on your hands.

See below:

https://www.therpgsite.com/news-and-adverts/looking-to-form-a-group-of-people-with-lots-of-spare-time-for-regular-games/

ForgottenF

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Why not just advertise what it is that you are looking to run?  Just filter people out, with your pitch.  "I am looking to run game "X", via ruleset "Y",  with true old school sensibilities.  If you can handle that, and that sounds like fun to you; let's try to set something up.

Then any further filtering, can take place in private.

Look at my sig. I lay everything out, extensively list what I want to run, what I'd prefer to play. I went out of my way for clarity.

People simply don't read.

If I can presume to try and read Jam's mind, the usual procedure in the VTT world is to do your posts with a specific campaign pitch. i.e., "I'm running X kind of Campaign with Y system, at Z time, and I need XX number of players." I think he just meant you might get more frequent/reliable applicants that way, rather than with a general game-group listing. You might have better luck advertising specific campaigns first, and then using that to build a player group.

That's kind of what I did, without meaning to. When I started on VTT I didn't have time to GM, so I just went looking through Roll20 for games to join. Currently I have two games I play in (with a third possibly starting soon) and one which I run. In my game, all but one of the players are people I invited over from games I was playing in.  Between my player games, I've got a network of about 12-15 people that I can invite into future games already knowing they're solid players.

The thing about game selection is that certain games are biased towards certain player groups. What I mean by that is that I suspect a lot of grognard types only play OSR games, not because they aren't willing to try other systems, but because they know that they're more likely to get the kind of players they want in those games. Personally, I'm willing to try almost any system (other than PBTA, which I have tried and did not care for), but I'm much more willing if I know some of the people involved. I'm pretty reluctant to apply to join games in the more popular systems (5e, Pathfinder, CoC, even Savage Worlds to an extent), because I know that I have a high probability of winding up in a group with players that are likely to annoy me.

I do think you're probably pretty badly restricting yourself demographically, too. I saw in your other post you specified Gen X or older Milennials with a lot of free time. My sense of VTT players is that a lot of them take to the internet precisely because they have a restrictive schedule, which would make it hard for them to do home games, and Gen X and older millennials (which I take to mean around 35-55 years old) are right in the time of life when they're likely to have the least free time.

Speaking for myself again, I took to online gaming precisely because I had an (at the time) newborn baby and a more than full-time job, and could only play after the kid went to bed on weeknights.

I wish you all the best with it, though, as someone who was in a somewhat similar position not that long ago. Frankly, if you've got two games on the go, that's pretty good in itself. Online gaming seems to have slowed down in the last year or so. When I started it in early 2021, I was pretty spoiled for choice, but I've been hunting for another game to join for the last few months and only just found one a few days ago.

Abraxus

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Welcome to gamers where many once they find a favoured rpg for better or worse stick with it. Nor are they required to expand their interests either. If it’s news to some on the hobby then they really don’t know how people act in general.

Most in my area is mostly 5E or Pathfinder. With a scattered COC and White wolf games. Unless one goes online one is not going to find those who want to play the rpg they want to run. I wanted to run a modified 1E D& D and have no takers though find a group to list with on RollD20.

Ultimately one can ask though not demand and respect other gamer’s choices. One way yo lol any interest in your campaign and deservedly do is to insult other players rpg choices. While asking to be punched in the face.

Grognard GM

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Ultimately one can ask though not demand and respect other gamer’s choices. One way yo lol any interest in your campaign and deservedly do is to insult other players rpg choices. While asking to be punched in the face.

Did you use 'you' to mean me specifically? I'm sorry but this was unclear do to all of your typos.
I'm a middle aged guy with a lot of free time, looking for similar, to form a group for regular gaming. You should be chill, non-woke, and have time on your hands.

See below:

https://www.therpgsite.com/news-and-adverts/looking-to-form-a-group-of-people-with-lots-of-spare-time-for-regular-games/

Aglondir

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Look at my sig. I lay everything out, extensively list what I want to run, what I'd prefer to play. I went out of my way for clarity.

People simply don't read.
Oops, my bad. I didn't see it until you pointed it out... (edit) I guess I never notice the signature section.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2023, 07:24:21 PM by Aglondir »

Spinachcat

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On the topic of RPG openness, I'd play less than 50% of what's published. I'm open to new stuff, OSR stuff, homebrew stuff, playtest stuff and old stuff, but I've got little tolerance for "crunchy rules" so since I mostly GM, I tend toward rules light-ish. Even though I spent years playing Champions and Car Wars, I doubt I've got the mental interest for something that involved anymore.

As for Grognard GM's life situation, that's very rough taking care of your disabled wife. Hopefully an improvement is on the horizon. Best wishes on navigating this challenge.

As for Grognard GM's RPG recruitment, I agree with others who mentioned the issue of too much leeway for players. There's something powerful about giving people LESS options. AKA, "Grognard GM running Dark Heresy on Tuesday 11am EST and Friday 2pm EST for 4 hours per session, seeking players can attend one or both sessions on a regular basis."

Then, if you get 2 people who can only do Wednesday at 4pm but really want to play Dark Heresy, then you consider changing the announcement and point out that you already have 2 players ready to go.

I can't speak for online VTT gamers, but older real life gamers mostly just want to have fun during their few hours of free time. Maybe its because I game with deplorable monsters constantly threatening democracy, but any "fast paced easy fantasy RPG" would be fine to scratch their D&D itch. "We're doing Dark Sun via True 20? Whatever. Do I roll high? Can I play an elf barbarian? You'll put everything I ever need to know about the campaign on one piece of paper in large print? Kewl. Let's dice."