Any time that would be spent on romance in tabletop games would be much better spent on romance outside of tabletop games.

Wow, I'm pleasantly surprised by the amount of replies and all the thought that obviously went into them, even with such an esoteric topic! Thanks guys!
 

Quote from: Opaopajr;831709...part of the fun of romance is its organic, uncontrolled nature...
Grab a 3x5" index card, scribble known details about the NPC (name, looks, 3 adjective personality...) and then separate a section for each tasks/routine, goals, and relationships. On the reverse, save for current news, quests, & secrets. Update accordingly, get in its headspace, and let loose.

The index cards is a great idea, not just for relationships but for any NPC at all. And the organic element of letting the relationship involve... there are so many great ideas for complications, an adventurer always going far away on missions for the crown, being involved in monster slaying, untreated PTSD - that's gonna be tough even for a very understanding partner!

Quote from: flyingmice;831688Take the player's lead on this. Apparently, something about the way you have played the NPC has attracted their character. There is no reason to assume the NPC even knows this, let alone reciprocates, but that is entirely up to you.

That's a good point, and something I'll have to consider. I was going to simply let the characters meet up and instantly fall in mutual love. Doing something more out of it sounds like a good way to flesh out the relationship.

I like the ideas voiced about getting not just the player, but also the other players involved. To really do something to widen the relationship so it becomes interesting for the whole group. Someone mentioned other PCs being wingmen - it's a really intrigue loving group, they could get so much fun out of of that! Player A: "Would you help me catch her attention?" Player B: "Sure, but you'll owe me big time..."

Quote from: The_Shadow;831639I recommend really getting into character, and emoting, with LARP elements. Basically, dry humping while spouting lines from your favorite erotic fan fic.

Sounds briliiant of course, but I specifically wanted to do something different form how I normally GM...

Quote from: EOTB;831717Any time that would be spent on romance in tabletop games would be much better spent on romance outside of tabletop games.

haha that's more or less where I'm at with it.  Frankly, romance is mostly a pita in the RW anyway.  I play games to get away from daily frustrations.    Next thing you know I'm going to be stressing out about getting a valentine gift for some NPC in an rpg!  

I found that doing some or all of the conversation in third person is often helpful for me as it puts some distance between me and the player which can be a lot more comfortable for all concerned.

Sometimes another player has played the romantic interest NPC which can also work well. If the other player is the real world romantic interest of the first player that can avoid some awkwardness since not everyone is cool with roleplaying out romance between a third person while their real life other half is sitting their watching (or critiquing and laughing).

I agree with those who mentioned taking a cue from your player and I agree that including ordinary events that couples might do like gift giving, eating a meal, going to the theatre or opera (depending on time, location, and degree of historical accuracy), attending a dance or masquerade (trying to evade chaperones to get some time alone on a terrace could be a minor subplot to a ball or masquerade scene). Another popular thing in the time period was reciting and/or composing poetry which could be a thing that is done without necessarily having to recite or compose actual poetry. They could go to the market and shop or just walk around and look at the booths. They could also interact with various vendors street performers who may try to get one of the two to be involved in a skit or to buy flowers for the other.

Quote from: Opaopajr;831709I recommend this. Sure we can as GM and player sit down and negotiate the terms of attraction and the goals of relationship. But part of the fun of romance is its organic, uncontrolled nature. It also saves you from a lot of prep work.

Grab a 3x5" index card, scribble known details about the NPC (name, looks, 3 adjective personality...) and then separate a section for each tasks/routine, goals, and relationships. On the reverse, save for current news, quests, & secrets. Update accordingly, get in its headspace, and let loose.

i.e.:

Carlotta Duriel

Brilliant. Stolen for my Honor+Intrigue game.

Quote from: Bren;831740I found that doing some or all of the conversation in third person is often helpful for me as it puts some distance between me and the player which can be a lot more comfortable for all concerned.

  This, via e-mail, were more or less how we handled it in the Star Wars game I played in where it was an issue. (NPC/PC, I was playing the PC, the NPC started things and I ran with it. We kept it mostly off the tabletop.)

Quote from: Armchair Gamer;831760This, via e-mail, were more or less how we handled it in the Star Wars game I played in where it was an issue. (NPC/PC, I was playing the PC, the NPC started things and I ran with it. We kept it mostly off the tabletop.)

Or if you want to go analog, Bluebooking.

Quote from: Battle Mad Ronin;831638I'm open to suggestions from the player herself, but before talking to her about it I'd love to hear if anyone on this board have experience with rpg-romance play, as a brain storm to help me formulate some concrete suggestions for my player and for my own adventures. What's corny, how do the two get involved in a way that doesn't necessarily happen off-screen and how can the proposed relationship be used in-game?.

There's lots of romance in most of my games, though it depends of course on the group, the players, and what they're comfy with. There have been some great romances with male players playing male PCs in my online games (Tabitha Kallent's love for and consequent redemption of Sir Garrick from a scumbag who had fled his home village after killing his wife in a drunk rage to a decent guy, was genuinely touching), but it does tend to be female players who are most comfy with romance in tabletop play.

I'd say, well, play it out as much as possible, use dice to guide NPC reactions where appropriate. It's perfectly ok to say 'hm, only 1 in 6 chance this gunsmith's daughter might be interested in a lesbian relationship' - but it's also ok to not roll if you have a preference.  I tend to use Charisma/Reaction/Diplomacy/Persuasion type checks a fair bit, until I get a good handle on the NPC and their thinking (Tabitha Kallent on her first meeting with Garrick rolled a natural 100% on the 1e AD&D d% Reaction table, only time I've ever seen that - and I played her accordingly).
Let the NPC's personality develop in play, her background, family, interests too. As you add detail, plots and complications will emerge naturally, and will help define the relationship. IMC Garrick was initially using Tabitha primarily for social advancement (and great sex), but her love for him was so genuine, and her bravery in standing up to her vicious aunt so great (Tabitha's cousin told Garric how her aunt Gertrude had beaten Tabitha severely when she found out Tabitha had been sneaking out to see somebody, but Tabitha had refused to confess or reveal who it was) that she melted his cold heart.

Quote from: jeff37923;831644As amusing as this may be, I'd advise against the above.

If the Player is taking it seriously, then the PC should take it seriously and the NPC will take it seriously. It may be difficult, but do not mock the possibility of romance between an NPC and a PC. When I have done it, I have used a method acting approach and behaved in a manner that the NPC would believably act in this situation.

A good place to start is ask yourself both "What do you as GM want out of this romance?" and "What does the NPC want out of romance in general or this romance in particular?"

Yeah, the main thing for the GM is to get to know the NPC - using dice as appropriate - and look at things from his/her perspective. Then they'll seem real. Don't treat the NPC as a tool for the Player's ego.  Even if an NPC is wildly in love with the PC they may well have a very different perspective. Eg IMC recently the CG male Barbarian PC nearly got himself killed when he abandoned a strategic withdrawal to berserk-charge into the midst of the enemy. He was captured, but managed to escape. His LG female Paladin NPC girlfriend had obeyed his order to withdraw with the rest of the party, but she was furious with him when they met up again later - and his attempts to laugh it off as usual with a kiss didn't work this time. She still loves him but her perspective on him has fundamentally changed, from being the junior partner in the relationship, to being the one who needs to use her better judgement & wisdom to keep him alive. And she's determined she'll never leave him again, no matter what.

Quote from: BedrockBrendan;831649Have an NPC fall in love with the character first if you want to introduce romance but the players haven't initiated anything. My only advice here is be cautious with how you do it because everyone reacts differently. I used to be 100% no romance or love in my games, but I realized I was missing out on a lot of cool developments because I had one or two negative experiences with it.

With male PC/female NPC I usually tell the player if the NPC seems interested in them, but the male PC usually needs to initiate the relationship if they want to get anywhere. Just telling the player "she seems interested in you" is way more information than most of us men are capable of picking up on reliably IRL, so it's already a big head start.

With female PC/male NPC the male character again will usually try to initiate their relationship, though if they're the reserved type they may need some gentle encouragement to come out of their shell. Female PCs are often badass killer types that most men tend to tread warily around...
This seems to work ok with female players. I can't recall offhand many cases with a male player/female PC romancing a male NPC. One male player a couple years back played a bisexual lady Bard of easy virtue who had several relationships, the two most important/serious ones were with other women, but she did also have a mostly-offscreen 'romance' with Prince Konn of the Tigerclaw Barbarians (based on Dolph Lundgren as He-Man in the '80s He-Man movie). That was probably the least method-acty romance I've done though, it was largely played for laughs - "Let me crush you to my manly chest!" sort of stuff.

Quote from: Ulairi;831656Romance doesn't have to be sexual. If they have a relationship you never have to talk about anything sexual. Just the relationship stuff.

Yeah. There might be a "They go to bed... fade to black" moment, but not necessarily even that.

Quote from: David Johansen;831675I'd usually avoid having the bad guys go after the love interest without player permission.

I think it's a good rule of thumb to avoid targetting such NPCs (and friends, relatives, etc) unless as a naturally emergent product of gameplay. If a PC negligently puts their girlfriend in a dangerous situation then yes she may be fair game, but be careful about it. Don't have her be the one NPC kidnapped by Mr Random Serial Killer unless there is already an established serious possibility that this could happen - if Mr RSK is known to be targetting the PC as a result of prior interaction, say. Even then I would avoid presenting it as a fait accompli. I might establish a range of possibilities and roll to see what happens. IMC the PC might come home to see his blood-covered girlfriend standing victorious over Mr RSK's corpse...

Quote from: EOTB;831717Any time that would be spent on romance in tabletop games would be much better spent on romance outside of tabletop games.

I guess you don't like reading books, watching films or tv (never mind creative writing) either, then!

Edit: Obviously it varies by player. One of my players is a fairly well known author of young adult fiction, and she loves the 'talky stuff', including romance. Other players wouldn't touch it with a 10' pole. Others want it highly abstracted ("OK, the smith is your girlfriend - yes, you can have a discount on that +3 fullblade"). That's ok.

Quote from: S'mon;831864I think it's a good rule of thumb to avoid targetting such NPCs (and friends, relatives, etc) unless as a naturally emergent product of gameplay. If a PC negligently puts their girlfriend in a dangerous situation then yes she may be fair game, but be careful about it. Don't have her be the one NPC kidnapped by Mr Random Serial Killer unless there is already an established serious possibility that this could happen - if Mr RSK is known to be targetting the PC as a result of prior interaction, say. Even then I would avoid presenting it as a fait accompli. I might establish a range of possibilities and roll to see what happens. IMC the PC might come home to see his blood-covered girlfriend standing victorious over Mr RSK's corpse...

This and it has become a trope. Player Character has a romantic interest in an NPC and everyone at the table immediately thinks that it is a set-up for Something Bad To Happen.

If you see a trope coming along, always try to subvert it. Allow a romance to happen and let it just be, a romance. The fact that nothing horrible happens to the PC or NPC will drive the Players nuts because they expect it!

Quote from: Zevious Zoquis;831693Hmmm....for myself, I'm inclined to think that romantic attraction falls into the realm of the GM ftmp.  As a player, I don't feel like I get to say "I fall for that npc."  It doesn't feel like that's the way it works.  I'd be more inclined to say that the GM could determine "you find beguiling and you are strongly attracted to her/him."  Then, it would be up to me to respond to that.  If I didn't want to proceed in a romantic way it might come down to a test of my characters willpower to resist the attraction.  I just feel like "love" is something that happens outside of our control and therefore is more of a nature thing that the GM would manage.  

But then I'm a guy who isn't really looking to roleplay romance anyway and I like PC death to be on the table so what do I know?  In other words, I actually like the suggestion up thread to "use dice to handle everything."  lol...

Telling a PC what his/her opinion is of anything violates the player/DM divide. I simply present what is in the world, sometimes that includes attractive and interesting NPCs. The players are always the ones to make their own decisions about what they think of such characters.

Quote from: Opaopajr;831709Carlotta Duriel
wild, curly-haired brunette with fiery black eyes and commanding alto voice.
personality: passionate, quick-tempered, brooding.


quests: a) find another source of good hardwood, fast!

There may be several male PCs who would be willing to help her out with that quest.

Quote from: EOTB;831717Any time that would be spent on romance in tabletop games would be much better spent on romance outside of tabletop games.

Alas.  I'd been in the middle of quite pleasantly surprised at the level of maturity displayed up until this point, given that the majority of "Romance in RPGs" threads are dominated by the "Ewww, COOTIES!!!" types for whom The Mushy Stuff is a signal to revert to junior high school.  Mind going elsewhere to threadcrap?

Anyway ... not much I could add to the good advice already proffered.