Told you the next version was going to be pure narrative.
Throw away your evil agency-depriving dice and run D&D like a Session-0 agreed-upon LARP.
My PC only dies if agreed upon. Encounters can only challenge PCs but never overwhelm. Pcs can act however they want because Alignment is dead. The gods are beholden to PC behavior.
Anything goes as long as it fits the narrative/storyline.
Welcome to D&D!
Fine, if in some bizarre situation I get stuck having to run one of these beasts (hostage situation?), then I'll make it real easy:
GM: Everyone have their characters ready to go?
Players: Yeah!
GM: Alright, you fight and think your way through numerous obstacles, but persevere. Go you! Here's some gold, magic items, and juicy XP. The whole adventure only took 3 minutes! So now you've got plenty of time to talk amongst yourselves about how wonderful you all are.
GM: Bye!