I released the PM knowing it would make a bunch of people angry. Since this thread focused on what I did for the last few pages, I'll come here to let people tell me directly, if they care, their opinion. And then it can go back to its intended purpose. I'm not going to get into a running debate on the subject, but I'll take whatever public beating people want to dish out while they know I can see it.
Going back over their conversations it's quite clear EOTB is a prick.
Deserved.
I really hate to be in the position of taking EOTB's side*, his passive-aggressive trolling of Frank was pretty bad, especially the signature where he chopped up Frank's words to make out Frank was calling his 1983 Red Box D&D a kids' game. But that cannot justify what Frank did..
Also mostly deserved. I would asterisk one portion as described below.
Look, when I said this entire incident caused some reflection on my part, I meant it. I don't excuse myself; I don't excuse my counterpart in this affair. I've wasted a lot of time on RPG forums debating people about RPGs. And it's all pretty pointless, really. For all that people decry echo chambers, I'm now of the opinion that echo chambers are probably the only productive way to discuss them.
RPGs are emotional things to us, given how we interact with them. The number of people who both use them frequently and are dispassionate enough to discuss them even-handedly is so small as to be irrelevant. When Frank gave his opinion about people who play RPGs a certain way I took great offense because it was essentially an opinion about me, or people I considered friends, and an attempt to dissuade people from playing as I play. Just as how from the opposite side of the spectrum, when Voros saw opinions said, where he wasn't, about RPGs played a certain way, or people he considered friends, he took great offense and has since posted quite a bit about it. Quite possibly because he considered it an opinion essentially about him.
Not to pick on Voros except as a handy example, but neither he nor I are really capable about changing our minds. We're invested. Let's not pretend that the favor of the most vocal detractors on this thread is possible to obtain under any circumstances. It wasn't possible before this week, and it won't be possible next week. This is why I say that debating RPGs, I think, is essentially a negative outcome. Even if there are some with whom it would be productive, the collateral damage with those with whom it is not isn't worth the activity - which brings no value in and of itself, really. Better to identify people you're in tune with and work the creative synergy, in this specific hobby.
For myself, after Frank implied a willingness to meet with me and asked me to specifically identify myself for that purpose, and I agreed to, and then he turned around immediately afterwards and sent the first unexpected message to me - I was not really capable of changing my mind anymore. There is no unreleased info in this chain. I want to emphasize: the only non-public communication from me to Frank was telling him I was willing to meet with him at his request.
The sig thing was petulant of me. After getting back the response I did after saying I was willing to meet and hash it out, I was pissed.
So no, no dancing with anyone on RPGs anymore, I don't think. It's a colossal waste of time. Nobody's going to change their minds about anything. Serve your fellow enthusiasts with creative output and let the haters hang.
But again - not sorry about releasing the PM. I thought DF was very complementary to Frank, even in its message of explanation, and in return Frank was letting them burn in public opinion. He apparently discussed the situation with Tenkar - I don't know what was said, or how accurate it was, or anything else. But nothing released out of that conversation was along the lines of "mistakes were made", and like DF held him in no ill will, he didn't likewise.
Frank's saying he forgives everyone and is moving on. I'm doing likewise. But if anyone wants to tell me off for the incident, they can do it here. Or in another thread given this one's purpose. I didn't hit the post button expecting to take zero heat or fallout.