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Catapulting Cows Over the City Walls!

Started by SHARK, April 20, 2021, 05:03:12 PM

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Mishihari

#15
April 21, 2021, 11:27:39 AM
Quote from: Zalman on April 21, 2021, 09:33:04 AM
Death and destruction is spread much faster by hurling halflings over the wall.

Kender work even better.  Especially if they survive impact.

VisionStorm

#16
April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 10:05:35 AM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 09:47:56 AM
So...still higher than a Fireball then? I guess my next character is gonna have to be a Siege Engineer with weapon specialization in Bovine Trebuchets.
Better hope your next DM doesn't track ammo. Or encumbrance. Or make sure your character has a Heward's Handy Stockyard.

I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do. I'll put everything into siege engine crafting skills and sell siege engines to local warlords to make money to restock my ammo. My company brand will be a flying cow, embossed on every siege weapon I sell.

Quote from: Mishihari on April 21, 2021, 11:27:39 AM
Quote from: Zalman on April 21, 2021, 09:33:04 AM
Death and destruction is spread much faster by hurling halflings over the wall.

Kender work even better.  Especially if they survive impact.

Why don't we throw in Tinker Gnomes while we're at it?  ;)

GeekyBugle

#17
April 21, 2021, 12:06:40 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 10:05:35 AM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 09:47:56 AM
So...still higher than a Fireball then? I guess my next character is gonna have to be a Siege Engineer with weapon specialization in Bovine Trebuchets.
Better hope your next DM doesn't track ammo. Or encumbrance. Or make sure your character has a Heward's Handy Stockyard.

I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do. I'll put everything into siege engine crafting skills and sell siege engines to local warlords to make money to restock my ammo. My company brand will be a flying cow, embossed on every siege weapon I sell.

Quote from: Mishihari on April 21, 2021, 11:27:39 AM
Quote from: Zalman on April 21, 2021, 09:33:04 AM
Death and destruction is spread much faster by hurling halflings over the wall.

Kender work even better.  Especially if they survive impact.

Why don't we throw in Tinker Gnomes while we're at it?  ;)

Don't know how you could justify this but, if you feed the cows with cow meat (especially the brain) then you can spread mad cow disease in the city residents if they decide to eat the cow meat.
Quote from: Rhedyn

Here is why this forum tends to be so stupid. Many people here think Joe Biden is "The Left", when he is actually Far Right and every US republican is just an idiot.

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."

― George Orwell

DocJones

#18
April 21, 2021, 12:15:52 PM
Quote from: GeekyBugle on April 20, 2021, 08:17:27 PM
Get a few hundred rats and free them in the city.
Feeding the enemy would be counter productive to a siege.

GeekyBugle

#19
April 21, 2021, 12:20:52 PM
Quote from: DocJones on April 21, 2021, 12:15:52 PM
Quote from: GeekyBugle on April 20, 2021, 08:17:27 PM
Get a few hundred rats and free them in the city.
Feeding the enemy would be counter productive to a siege.

Rats eat your grain, and also carry disease. You of course do this at the start of the siege.
Quote from: Rhedyn

Here is why this forum tends to be so stupid. Many people here think Joe Biden is "The Left", when he is actually Far Right and every US republican is just an idiot.

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."

― George Orwell

Pat

#20
April 21, 2021, 12:39:36 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 10:05:35 AM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 09:47:56 AM
So...still higher than a Fireball then? I guess my next character is gonna have to be a Siege Engineer with weapon specialization in Bovine Trebuchets.
Better hope your next DM doesn't track ammo. Or encumbrance. Or make sure your character has a Heward's Handy Stockyard.

I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do. I'll put everything into siege engine crafting skills and sell siege engines to local warlords to make money to restock my ammo. My company brand will be a flying cow, embossed on every siege weapon I sell.
I hope you humanely slaughter the cow projectiles in your haversack. PETA is CR 20, and you can't handle that ECL.

Thornhammer

#21
April 21, 2021, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do.

Are you kidding? If we can't have fully automatic, belt-fed cowtapults, I don't wanna live.

Call it Smashburger.

This Guy

#22
April 21, 2021, 12:48:03 PM
Given that shitting yourself to death is Top-5 Countdown List of reasons people die in both sides of a siege and just like doing pre-modern army things in general do you guys track the casualties for the guys on the outside as well or does that not happen
I don\'t want to play with you.

GeekyBugle

#23
April 21, 2021, 12:50:00 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 12:39:36 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 10:05:35 AM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 09:47:56 AM
So...still higher than a Fireball then? I guess my next character is gonna have to be a Siege Engineer with weapon specialization in Bovine Trebuchets.
Better hope your next DM doesn't track ammo. Or encumbrance. Or make sure your character has a Heward's Handy Stockyard.

I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do. I'll put everything into siege engine crafting skills and sell siege engines to local warlords to make money to restock my ammo. My company brand will be a flying cow, embossed on every siege weapon I sell.
I hope you humanely slaughter the cow projectiles in your haversack. PETA is CR 20, and you can't handle that ECL.

It all depends, if you want stealth death from above by cowtapult then yes.

On the other hand, if you want your enemies to run  in terror, then you launch the cows alive, let their moooos be the last thing your enemies will ever hear.
Quote from: Rhedyn

Here is why this forum tends to be so stupid. Many people here think Joe Biden is "The Left", when he is actually Far Right and every US republican is just an idiot.

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."

― George Orwell

Pat

#24
April 21, 2021, 12:56:14 PM
Quote from: GeekyBugle on April 21, 2021, 12:50:00 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 12:39:36 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 10:05:35 AM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 09:47:56 AM
So...still higher than a Fireball then? I guess my next character is gonna have to be a Siege Engineer with weapon specialization in Bovine Trebuchets.
Better hope your next DM doesn't track ammo. Or encumbrance. Or make sure your character has a Heward's Handy Stockyard.

I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do. I'll put everything into siege engine crafting skills and sell siege engines to local warlords to make money to restock my ammo. My company brand will be a flying cow, embossed on every siege weapon I sell.
I hope you humanely slaughter the cow projectiles in your haversack. PETA is CR 20, and you can't handle that ECL.

It all depends, if you want stealth death from above by cowtapult then yes.

On the other hand, if you want your enemies to run  in terror, then you launch the cows alive, let their moooos be the last thing your enemies will ever hear.
Isn't "It's Raining Moos" a song by the Cowweather Girls?

RandyB

#25
April 21, 2021, 01:02:01 PM
Three words:

"Cows With Guns".

Greentongue

#26
April 21, 2021, 01:17:26 PM
Two Words:

"Bollywood Cows"

VisionStorm

#27
April 21, 2021, 01:42:52 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 12:39:36 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 10:05:35 AM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 09:47:56 AM
So...still higher than a Fireball then? I guess my next character is gonna have to be a Siege Engineer with weapon specialization in Bovine Trebuchets.
Better hope your next DM doesn't track ammo. Or encumbrance. Or make sure your character has a Heward's Handy Stockyard.

I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do. I'll put everything into siege engine crafting skills and sell siege engines to local warlords to make money to restock my ammo. My company brand will be a flying cow, embossed on every siege weapon I sell.
I hope you humanely slaughter the cow projectiles in your haversack. PETA is CR 20, and you can't handle that ECL.

They will be humanely slaughtered.


On impact.

I'll feed them a bunch of drugged hay, so they'll be high as a kite, before they fly high as a kite.

Probably easier to load them that way. Struggle less.


Quote from: Thornhammer on April 21, 2021, 12:40:14 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do.

Are you kidding? If we can't have fully automatic, belt-fed cowtapults, I don't wanna live.

Call it Smashburger.

We'll have to get some dwarven engineers to work on that. I imagine it'll involve using siege towers to load up the cows, on top of each other, then release some mechanism that feeds them into the engine.

GeekyBugle

#28
April 21, 2021, 02:07:46 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 12:56:14 PM
Quote from: GeekyBugle on April 21, 2021, 12:50:00 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 12:39:36 PM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 12:02:25 PM
Quote from: Pat on April 21, 2021, 10:05:35 AM
Quote from: VisionStorm on April 21, 2021, 09:47:56 AM
So...still higher than a Fireball then? I guess my next character is gonna have to be a Siege Engineer with weapon specialization in Bovine Trebuchets.
Better hope your next DM doesn't track ammo. Or encumbrance. Or make sure your character has a Heward's Handy Stockyard.

I can live with that. Just a handful of cow projectiles per session will do. I'll put everything into siege engine crafting skills and sell siege engines to local warlords to make money to restock my ammo. My company brand will be a flying cow, embossed on every siege weapon I sell.
I hope you humanely slaughter the cow projectiles in your haversack. PETA is CR 20, and you can't handle that ECL.

It all depends, if you want stealth death from above by cowtapult then yes.

On the other hand, if you want your enemies to run  in terror, then you launch the cows alive, let their moooos be the last thing your enemies will ever hear.
Isn't "It's Raining Moos" a song by the Cowweather Girls?

If it isn't it should be.
Quote from: Rhedyn

Here is why this forum tends to be so stupid. Many people here think Joe Biden is "The Left", when he is actually Far Right and every US republican is just an idiot.

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."

― George Orwell

GeekyBugle

#29
April 21, 2021, 02:34:42 PM
Maybe we can side step the building of a huge catapult? Why not use magic?

Quote from: Rhedyn

Here is why this forum tends to be so stupid. Many people here think Joe Biden is "The Left", when he is actually Far Right and every US republican is just an idiot.

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."

― George Orwell
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