I'll steal an idea from Santiago, if you don't mind.
The Bard. No body cares about his real name, they just think he's crazy, but they leave him alone. The Bard wants to hear your story, if you don't want to tell it, that's fine, he'll tell it to you instead. He collects stories. If your's is interesting he'll add it to his song. If it's really interesting you'll get two stanzas, if it's barely above the norm you might get a line.
The Bard only has one song, but it's said to be a million lines long now, and still growing. Most folks know their favorite bits to it by heart now, and if you want to know who someone is, check the Bard's song, you just might learn something. Some folks fear that the Bard will turn his blind eyes on them, afraid that their secrets will be exposed to the galaxy, or to themselves.
The Queen of Hearts wrote her own stanza once. She has two now, the Bard likes her brass so much he kept her addition, making it official. Of course, her little addition got her killed eventually, but that's just what the Bard said would happen.
If you ask the Bard when the song will end he'll tell you it's over when all the important stories have been heard, when the meaningful tales have all been added. He's been at if for forty years now, at one bar or another, and he shows no sign of stopping.
Ok, so it may not be entirely casablanca, but if you don't like it... don't use it.