I'm watching the first episode, Apache vs. Gladiator. This is a new show for Spike TV. In the series they pit two historical warriors against each other, and examine their methods and weapons scientifically. They then feed the data into a simulation program to determine the victor.  In the first episode, they brought in Chuck Liddell to test some Gladiator weapons. OMG! There's a gladiator weapon that is called the Scissor, which is just devasting. You have to check out this series.

The second episode is Samurai vs. Viking.

I discovered this program by zombie-zapping yesterday. At first I was intrigued but the more I tried to be interested the least it made sense.

I mean how is it any better than the dorks Koltar talks about who are arguing ad nauseam if the millenium falcon is better than the enterprise or some other crazy bat shit ?

Quote from: boulet;295193I discovered this program by zombie-zapping yesterday. At first I was intrigued but the more I tried to be interested the least it made sense.

I mean how is it any better than the dorks Koltar talks about who are arguing ad nauseam if the millenium falcon is better than the enterprise or some other crazy bat shit ?

None whatsover!  However, I like warrior cultures/socieites, history, and what ifs.  So, this show fits the bill for me.  

I caught zombie zapping as well.  It's just part of the plot by Hulu to jellify my brain for later consumption- but I'm cool with that.

So who fucking won?

I'm betting on Samurai next time round.

Quote from: One Horse Town;295207So who fucking won?

I'm betting on Samurai next time round.

The Apache won in the final analysis.

Yeah, I'm really excited about the Samurai vs. Viking show.

A close combat style of combat losing to a guerilla/distance style... that was a very difficult conclusion to get to. It surely deserved an hour of debate and pseudo demonstration.

Does this show have the internet treatment yet?  I don't get that channel until June/July.

Yes, the first episode is on the front page of Spike TV's website for download.

Quote from: Drohem;295225Yes, the first episode is on the front page of Spike TV's website for download.

Awesome!

This sounds like just the thing to fill the cold empty void left by the cancelation of Battle Bots!

Can anyone tell me how the Spartan vs Ninja showdown went?  Seriously... I own some four copies of Thucydies and have a roommate who tries to train hoplites for amtguard (good luck with that....NERD!!!... oh...wait...).

Never mind that the entire fucking Ninja thing is mostly made up and conjecture...

Obviously you all fail miserably at sneaking bootleg tapes of the show a week before it airs, so I had to wait until last night to get the answer to my own question.

First of all: Holy shit this show is terrible! Like... I dunno... Mythbusters if you took all the cool shit out of it, then the people and replaced them with lame dime store rip off copies or something.  It was PAINFUL to watch, with a few exceptional moments that tried to make up for the rest of the suck.

Second of all: where are the facts? I mean, it was always going to be thin on the ground, what with Ninja being something... whats that word again... MADE UP, but wow!    First, the dude 'pimping' the Spartan's can't measure for shit.   When 'gel' clearly covers half of a twenty inch blade (their measurements) he says 'three to four inches', when his javalin penetrates to the wood with its four inch steel tip he says 'two inches'.  Clearly he's senile.  Speaking of the Javalin: Laughable moment: WHen the 'ninja' dude tosses some shuriken into a target every ooh's and Ahhs' about the penetration and how it means busted ribs and punctured spleens.. when a three foot shaft of the javalin buries itself into the gelatin target up to and past the mounting bracket before bouncing partly out (clearly visible in the slowmotion camera) they dismiss it as 'non-fatal'. Seriously?  This is rigorous scientific testing?   Like... let me see: They have the "well made' Ninjato slice into their torso and then the spartan dude stabs his sword so deep that he bends the tip on the steel spine of hte dummy so they move to a pig carcass cutting test?  Dude: Of course the cutting weapon will win a cutting test, but if you MUST at least provide a new carcass so the spartan dude isn't trying to cut half a carcass further down?  Seriously... pig carcasses (carcassii! I'm now pluralizing all 'S' words with I..fuck you.) can't be THAT much more expensive than your gelatin bodies.

Despite all that, despite what seemed to be insane bias towards the made up motherfucker (and dude, I love Japanese shit....) the Spartan actually won! Which pretty much led to the only really enjoyable part of the show (other than the one dude beating the shit out of their sensor dummy with the shield!), which was the five minute death match at the end to 'illustrate' their 'results'.    When the ninja trips the spartan with the chain of his Kusarigama I laughed as the spartan grabbed the chain and yanked the ninja closer! Especially when the ninja then CUT THE FUCKING CHAIN... not a rope mind you, a chain... with the Kama!

Quote from: Spike;297672Can anyone tell me how the Spartan vs Ninja showdown went? Seriously... I own some four copies of Thucydies and have a roommate who tries to train hoplites for amtguard (good luck with that....NERD!!!... oh...wait...).

Never mind that the entire fucking Ninja thing is mostly made up and conjecture...

In the 1,000 times that their computer ran the Spartan vs. Ninja simulation - the Spartan won 65% of the time.

The Ninja could definitely seriously put the hurt on the Spartan - but the Spartan got the actual kill more often.

So, Spartan very much bloodied but still winds up being the winner.

Today, SPIKE channel 2 or 3 of them back to back. It was interesting to see just how evenly matched the Viking vs. Samurai was. The Samurai won out but it was pretty close.


- Ed C.

Quote from: Koltar;298782Today, SPIKE channel 2 or 3 of them back to back. It was interesting to see just how evenly matched the Viking vs. Samurai was. The Samurai won out but it was pretty close.


- Ed C.

See... I'd ALMOST be interested in seeing that, but the unfortunate comparison to the much better Mythbusters, the questionable science and the idiotic 'teams' format (since, you know, there are no vikings or samurai or pirates or what have you to actually MAKE UP THESE TEAMS) sort of ruin the fun for me, and I don't need 50 minutes of pain for 5 minutes of payoff at the end.

I've got gaming for that

It's mindless entertainment that I enjoy out of the myriad of mindless entertainment offered up to us on the legion of channels.