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Author Topic: Superman is gay.  (Read 9618 times)

Lurkndog

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #60 on: November 18, 2021, 10:06:16 AM »
I think the worst or at least the most obvious example is what passes as banter in modern comics. It's not banter in the traditional sense of clever repartee. It's just one character being a complete ass to another character, by thoroughly insulting and demeaning them. And this isn't shit thrown at a hated enemy, it's usually between characters who are supposed to be friends or at least allies. This shouldn't be mistaken for rough but friendly locker room banter, or some witty inversion, or even an attempt to display a character's complete lack of social skills (they're usually supposed to be cool, in the context of the setting). It's just people being absolutely terrible to their friends for no reason at all, because it's supposed to be edgy or something. It doesn't make me like the characters, it makes me hate them and wish they were dead.

In order for a reactionary or transgressive character to work, they need characters who are normal people to play off of. It's very much like having a straight man in a comedy. Having a normal person with normal expectations puts the outrageous stuff in context, and makes it even more edgy, or funny, or over the top.

If you don't have a straight man, you fall into the trap of characters just trying to one-up each other, and that gets predictable and tedious very quickly.

It's why the original Ghostbusters is hilarious, and Ghostbusters 2016 fell flat. The only really funny thing in the 2016 film was Chris Hemsworth as Kevin the intern, and it's because it's the only time the other characters play the straight man and react to him like normal people would.

It's also what made Han Solo so cool in Star Wars. He had Luke to play off of, or C3PO, or, briefly, Greedo.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2021, 10:14:02 AM by Lurkndog »

DeadVerySoon

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #61 on: January 18, 2022, 04:43:57 PM »
Sad thing is, I like the idea of Superman having a son, and going through the process of passing on the torch. Dunno if the idea will stick, or get retconned. Probably retconned since it looks like they're using the son as a boring, activism mouthpiece instead of imbuing him with actual character.

In the DC comics series, there is a furture superteam named The Legion. Those who auditioned for membership and were turned down form their own group, the Substitutes.  Generally rejected for useless / duplicate / inadequate super powers.  One member is Laurel Kent, daughter of Superman, who only inherits invulnerability,no other powers.

Omega

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #62 on: January 20, 2022, 02:36:20 AM »
A superhero came out of the closet back around 1991. So who is surprised by this now? The SJWs have zero reason to stop.

Alot less ham-handed than now. Compare how they handled Vance Astro and all the hell he went through to todays co-opted characters.

Omega

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #63 on: January 20, 2022, 02:40:59 AM »
In the DC comics series, there is a furture superteam named The Legion. Those who auditioned for membership and were turned down form their own group, the Substitutes.  Generally rejected for useless / duplicate / inadequate super powers.  One member is Laurel Kent, daughter of Superman, who only inherits invulnerability,no other powers.

Legion of Substitute stories tended to be bemusing and on more than one occasion they saved the day with their otherwise useless powers. If you can ever find it, check out the issue where they team up with Superman to deal with Ambush Bug who was Deadpool before Deadpool. Still have that one even.

SHARK

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #64 on: February 07, 2022, 05:42:12 PM »
Greetings!

*Laughing* Suprman clapping cheeks now.

So fucking pathetic.

Yeah, let them burn it all the fuck down.

It's all worthless shit now. Fuck 'em.

Semper Fidelis,

SHARK
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oggsmash

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #65 on: February 07, 2022, 05:53:55 PM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2022, 05:55:37 PM by oggsmash »

Pat
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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #66 on: February 07, 2022, 06:21:35 PM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.
I assume you haven't read Larry Niven's "Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex"?

(Not particularly SFW.)

Ratman_tf

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #67 on: February 07, 2022, 07:10:46 PM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.

This just opens up a can of worms around how exactly Superman's powers work. Does he have super farts and super burps? Is his "invulnerable" skin flexible? Is it more rigid than steel? If it's not flexible, how does he move? If it is flexible, how does it resist damage? Does he have super explosive diahrehha? Is he immune to earth viruses and bacteria? Does his biology need beneficial bacteria? Does Superman have to eat or drink? How much physical nourishment does he need? Is he completely solar powered, and if so, how does he build more tissue?

etc, etc, etc...


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Pat
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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #68 on: February 07, 2022, 07:28:03 PM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.

This just opens up a can of worms around how exactly Superman's powers work. Does he have super farts and super burps? Is his "invulnerable" skin flexible? Is it more rigid than steel? If it's not flexible, how does he move? If it is flexible, how does it resist damage? Does he have super explosive diahrehha? Is he immune to earth viruses and bacteria? Does his biology need beneficial bacteria? Does Superman have to eat or drink? How much physical nourishment does he need? Is he completely solar powered, and if so, how does he build more tissue?

etc, etc, etc...
My biggest problem with Superman has always been Krypton. They're one of the most advanced spacefaring races in the entire universe, and their members have immense powers everywhere except under their own Sun. How does a trait like that evolve? It doesn't. There's no way you can ever make it make sense.

And if it's not evolved, that means it's engineered. Which kind of makes sense, at first glance, If you're one of the most advanced races that ever lived, why not give yourself powers that vastly exceed those displayed by most gods in myth and legends? But if you do that, why not make it work in your own home system? And even if that was somehow impossible, why not just go live somewhere else?

But they didn't. They decided to stay home on their own home planet. Which again, could conceivably make sense. We could conceive of some religion or philosophy that pushed the masses to stay home. But... mass movements don't work on literally everyone. Because except for ejecta and a captured bottle, 100% of the species was killed in the planetary explosion. That means not a single Kryptonian went off to live somewhere else.

Which requires a staggering degree of conformity. Yet Superman himself is basically the embodiment of the American ideal of independence. Clark Kent isn't a blind follower, so it's clearly not genetic. And Krypton's culture is typically portrayed as a bit hidebound, but it's not some absolutist totalitarian nightmare, which would be the the only way to exert such an absolute degree of control over a race that's psychologically similar to humans.

So I guess... magic? Except he's not magic. He's weak to magic.

There's no way to make any of it make sense even by the incredibly loose standards of comic books. The only way to deal with it is to ignore everything.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2022, 07:32:31 PM by Pat »

BoxCrayonTales

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #69 on: February 08, 2022, 12:30:45 PM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.
Speaking of, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if pinkhair (I'm too lazy to google his name) has a vag down there. Good old homophobia, but make it woke.

But seriously, this is explained somewhere as him actually having contact telekinesis that selectively applies his invulnerability to objects he touches. That's why people don't get sliced apart when he catches them in free fall.

oggsmash

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #70 on: February 08, 2022, 01:00:11 PM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.
Speaking of, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if pinkhair (I'm too lazy to google his name) has a vag down there. Good old homophobia, but make it woke.

But seriously, this is explained somewhere as him actually having contact telekinesis that selectively applies his invulnerability to objects he touches. That's why people don't get sliced apart when he catches them in free fall.

  That is the lamest retcon BS I have ever heard.  Wow, I guess they felt it was just too hard for superman to take into account that if he had to catch someone he would need to make some direction changes to not kill them?  It creates IMO, more holes than it plugs.  But I guess it fixes the catching falling victims or clapping some twinks cheeks.

Pat
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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #71 on: February 08, 2022, 04:16:05 PM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.
Speaking of, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if pinkhair (I'm too lazy to google his name) has a vag down there. Good old homophobia, but make it woke.

But seriously, this is explained somewhere as him actually having contact telekinesis that selectively applies his invulnerability to objects he touches. That's why people don't get sliced apart when he catches them in free fall.

  That is the lamest retcon BS I have ever heard.  Wow, I guess they felt it was just too hard for superman to take into account that if he had to catch someone he would need to make some direction changes to not kill them?  It creates IMO, more holes than it plugs.  But I guess it fixes the catching falling victims or clapping some twinks cheeks.
IIRC, the touch-TK came from the John Byrne reboot of Superman in the 1980s. Though it's less about catching people and more about lifting large objects. Because it doesn't matter how strong you are, if you try to pick up a submarine (as in a recent Superman & Lois episode) with your hands, it means all that weight is being supported by two hand-sized points on the hull. Saying it would snap is probably generous.

But even the cleverest rationalization only works so far. It'll always be more about suspension of disbelief than physics.

Ghostmaker

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #72 on: February 09, 2022, 09:19:29 AM »
  I never cared for the idea of Superman having any sort of sexual relationship at all, but with a human....I mean even is hair is super strong.  I have to assume, this means his wedding tackle is also going to have some super qualities.  He could likely ram an erection right through a steel door.  How is that going to play out on some lady, or worse some dude engaging in a form of love where poop and blood are not so uncommon, and even if Supes lets you play pitcher instead of catcher....seems you could lose a member pretty easily with any tension?   

    It always seemed like any sort of sexual relationship from Superman, unless you have him dosed with kryptonite, is a good way to get killed in a horrible way.  I think he should stick to super heros with similar qualities, not intrepid female reporters, or now some genderqueer twink.
Speaking of, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if pinkhair (I'm too lazy to google his name) has a vag down there. Good old homophobia, but make it woke.

But seriously, this is explained somewhere as him actually having contact telekinesis that selectively applies his invulnerability to objects he touches. That's why people don't get sliced apart when he catches them in free fall.

  That is the lamest retcon BS I have ever heard.  Wow, I guess they felt it was just too hard for superman to take into account that if he had to catch someone he would need to make some direction changes to not kill them?  It creates IMO, more holes than it plugs.  But I guess it fixes the catching falling victims or clapping some twinks cheeks.
IIRC, the touch-TK came from the John Byrne reboot of Superman in the 1980s. Though it's less about catching people and more about lifting large objects. Because it doesn't matter how strong you are, if you try to pick up a submarine (as in a recent Superman & Lois episode) with your hands, it means all that weight is being supported by two hand-sized points on the hull. Saying it would snap is probably generous.

But even the cleverest rationalization only works so far. It'll always be more about suspension of disbelief than physics.
Suddenly reminded of that cutscene in Xenogears, where Id picks up the sand-ship with his telekinesis and throws it at his opponent. And even with the telekinetic reinforcement it was still bending under its own weight.

rgalex

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #73 on: February 18, 2022, 10:45:04 PM »
If anyone is still looking for some crowdfunded books here is a small batch of various types:

Terror in the Trenches Vol 1 - Black Terror must don his dark mantle once again when vengeful super-nazis bomb his hood.
Jack Irons: The Steel Cowboy - A Reincarnated Immortal wanders through Galactic Armageddon seeking Purpose and Freedom.
Norah's Saga, Season One: Song of the Fossegrim - A high school outcast channels her inner warrior to face the Norse gods standing between her & home.

oggsmash

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Re: Superman is gay.
« Reply #74 on: February 19, 2022, 12:21:28 PM »
I think the worst or at least the most obvious example is what passes as banter in modern comics. It's not banter in the traditional sense of clever repartee. It's just one character being a complete ass to another character, by thoroughly insulting and demeaning them. And this isn't shit thrown at a hated enemy, it's usually between characters who are supposed to be friends or at least allies. This shouldn't be mistaken for rough but friendly locker room banter, or some witty inversion, or even an attempt to display a character's complete lack of social skills (they're usually supposed to be cool, in the context of the setting). It's just people being absolutely terrible to their friends for no reason at all, because it's supposed to be edgy or something. It doesn't make me like the characters, it makes me hate them and wish they were dead.

In order for a reactionary or transgressive character to work, they need characters who are normal people to play off of. It's very much like having a straight man in a comedy. Having a normal person with normal expectations puts the outrageous stuff in context, and makes it even more edgy, or funny, or over the top.

If you don't have a straight man, you fall into the trap of characters just trying to one-up each other, and that gets predictable and tedious very quickly.

It's why the original Ghostbusters is hilarious, and Ghostbusters 2016 fell flat. The only really funny thing in the 2016 film was Chris Hemsworth as Kevin the intern, and it's because it's the only time the other characters play the straight man and react to him like normal people would.

It's also what made Han Solo so cool in Star Wars. He had Luke to play off of, or C3PO, or, briefly, Greedo.

   The problem with that is there is no such thing as normal anymore.  These creeps decided to create a whole blurb of words to describe normal, things like cisgender hetero, heteronormative behavior, cis gender heteronormative propaganda, etc.   I think the people who deviate strongly from the norm, through likely both social pressures and their own image of themselves, feel wrong/dirty/broken.   Their answer to that feeling is breaking the world around them and its language to feel better.   IMO, they need therapy to fix that (feelings about themselves, not chosen lifestyle), and just move on.