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Author Topic: Spike takes on the news.  (Read 203 times)

Spike

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Spike takes on the news.
« on: September 17, 2008, 02:07:36 PM »
First up: The American Economy and the collapse of all these financial giants.  When they go bust, this is the market working as intended. Short sighted business plans and foolish market strategies creating non-existant wealth SHOULD lead to collapse and even to the wealthy being brought low.

The Fed bailing any of these fuckers out... not working as intended.  

However, none of this is much of a statement about the foundation of our economy. These are a bunch of big, essentially non-essential businesses that, yes, make a lot of rich people richer and, yes, do employ thousands of people.  However, a loss of insurance (for example) will not cause starvation in the streets.  If anything, if everyone lost all the money they'd spent on Insurance, maybe people might wake up to the foolishness of sending someone all that money on the off chance they'll actually give any of it back in case of 'difficulties', rather than just saving it or investing it yourself.  But that's just me.  To date I can say, honestly, that I've spent enough money on car insurance to buy a brand new car.  To date, what I've gotten for my money is two free glass chips repairs and 300 dollars of an 800 dollar repair of my rear bumper after some priviliged kid driving daddies car ripped mine off in a parking lot.

Woot. That was... hurm... ONE insurance payment from when I was 25.

Now, true: AIG is life insurance, not Car insurance, but the principle remains the same, only moreso.  AIG ain't gonna give me a fucking dime when I die. I'll be dead.  Great for my loved ones (or.. you know... an excuse...), but damn, all that money I spend over the years? Yeah, I could have used that to help build a more stable financial situation, pay off my debts and even, you know, buy a burial plot.


Next up:  Galveston. When, exactly, did it becomes the government's business to tell people they could not chose to risk their lives by living in area's lacking public utilities?  I mean, what the fuck does this mean for those hippies living off hte grid in the mountains of california?  When did this change? 100 years ago?  This isn't new, exactly. They forced people off the keys for Gustav. Me? you couldn't pay me to live in hurricane country. Visit? Certainly, but live there? No thanks, I intend to die with my teeth around the throat of my killer, and wind is damn hard to get the ol' chompers around...

But you know... that is where those people live, their homes, even their property.  Its their life to do with as they like, even risk it. Its not like they are living in the shadow of an active volcano. And even if they did....

Yet, no one protests. Well, I mean, there is me, but I'm just a pika, who listens to me?


And: 33 year old high school students...

This woman could become a cheerleader? My how our standards have fallen.  She went back to highschool for some sort of financial reason? What reason? Tell me!!! I want to know how much money I could have been making, motherfuckers!   What fucking money is there in pretending to be 15? I can pass, honest! I'll play football or something!

Seriously... cheerleader? What? Is it one of those 'if you try out we'll put you on the team so no one gets their feelings hurt by being rejected' situations?  

And why is this national news for two days in a row, anyway?

And again: Caylee Anthony is DEAD motherfuckers. Her mother is a bangable party girl with no morals and a spoiled life.   Frankly, Casey ain't that photogenic, but in motion? Yeah. totally hot, but not someone to bring home to mother.


Hope at last:  A nine year old delivers a baby. Sweet mother of Dog, finally someone who does what they need to do when the time comes that it needs doing!  Ok, it'll be another 10 years or so until her generation enters the work place, and we'll probably fuck them up long before then, but...


OJ:  Am I the only one who seems concerned that the charges being leveled sound hugely trumped up as a means of punishing the man for escaping justice 15 years ago?  I mean, I also seem to be the only one who seems concerned about the 'legal loophole' to double jeapordy laws they applied to him.   Don't get me wrong, I don't like him, I do tend to think he did it (or, at BEST is covering for who did...), but I stand by my principles, even when it's unpleasant to do so.  Sometimes that means you have to let a murderous sumbitch get away with it to avoid an utter perversion/corruption of the system.

Yemen: No US casualties, which somehow always makes me want to ask a Marine what they think of the Iranian Embassy guards who did nothing.  Then again, around here I expect to see people complaining that the embassy staff weren't butchered to a man, so...

Palin: Gina Gershon is still hot, but not really convincing (seriously, get that shotgun stock tucked into your shoulder. You've done enough action movies to know better...). Tina Fey was spot on, and Palin's response was tactful, McCain's seems blown out of proportion, but I haven't got all the facts (the one exerpt I've read never mentioned gender or sexism... which makes me wonder 'where's the beef?'.

Merril Lynch: Seriously, you know that brass bull statue is, like, 100 years old or some shit, because at no point in my life could anyone put an anatomically correct bull statue in the heart of an American City without someone (probably a conservative who grew up in farm country and really should know better) getting up in arms about the huge brass balls on that fucker. Seriously, man: I watched a news story on Rocky Mountain Oysters during the Republic National Convention where they couldn't even explain what they actually were, even the euphemisims were too risque for TV or something. Seriously, you are eating bull balls, fucker. Call them what they are or you don't have a god damn story.

And that's the way it is.
For you the day you found a minor error in a Post by Spike and forced him to admit it, it was the greatest day of your internet life.  For me it was... Tuesday.

For the curious: Apparently, in person, I sound exactly like the Youtube Character The Nostalgia Critic.   I have no words.

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