I find it nigh impossible to watch anime because it is full of casual sexual harassment, physical abuse, sexualized humiliation, panty shots of underage girls, and plenty other disgusting fetish material.
As a person who hates all the same sorts of things you hate I think your overblowing it. This is sort of like saying "Tom and Jerry is a sick animal abuse fantasy" or "Superman Teaches kids to solve all their problems with their fists".
But yes I hate all the shit your talking about, not even somuchso because Im disgusted by it, more...Sad and boring.
I don't think Loli likers are Pedos (Because they barely resemble children) but are more....depraved on ideas of a mix of lust+desire for being a parent.
Its also really really boring. These are 30+ year old gags being paraded around as if they are fresh every, fucking, time. Gags about the gags (The hight of innovation within this) are also like 25 years old.
I found the funniest gag about this sort of thing in Patlabor where the guy accidentally catches a downshirt shot of a girl, blushes!....And then looks away awkwardly but continues talking normally to her like a goddam adult. And thats 30+ years old. Patlabor is actually a fantastic show where it takes the mature route despite having a ctuesy exterior in every possible gag opportunity.
But yeah the fetish crap is also fucking shit. And the fetishes compound on themselves. I agree the made in the abyss grossed me out (outside of once again being pretty boring).
And as for honest about their kinks? The worst part is their not. Their like a GM making stories about magical realms. Just make some goddam hentais and jerk off in peace in the XXX section away from storylines or even attempts at characterization. Don't wrap your fetish shit in a thin veneer of plot to pretend your doing something else, and the people that wank to this stuff just say its for the porn and stop pretending its any deeper then that. But Japanese society as a whole is deeply, deeply unhealthy. This are going to come to a head there.
As for gayness Im of the opinion that I don't really care if they get represented or not. I don't think gay representation (or representation for any group in general) is a good trait for society. But Im glad you caught on how many of them just use it to piss off their parents when their given media.
Honestly Steven Universe is the only show to have ever offended my sensibilities on a deeply personal level (And its not the gay pandering that did it).