Oh God, where to start...
It's *almost* as bad as the D&D movie, and it rips off every single movie you can imagine.
Lord of the Rings? Check.
Star Wars? Check.
Dragonheart? Check.
Breakfast at Tiffany's? Well, not really, but I'm sure they tried.
There's the blatant politically correct message, represented by the black leader of hordes of very, very white and nordic rebels. I repeat: he's the single black character you'll see in this Tolkienesque setting. Oh, there's his daughter too, but I'm willing to bet that she'll hook up with the traitor's son. It's. So. Bloody. Obvious.
You also have to wonder what the hell is John Malkovich smoking. Dude, is your drug habit that expensive? At least Jeremy Irons is marginally better than in D&D, probably because he's replaying his Kingdom of Heaven character. Sienna Guillory is cute, but this is an example of when you mix one bottle of shit with another one of good whisky: you end up with two bottles of shit.
Speaking of characters, I couldn't stop laughing when Murtaugh appears. It screams "Hey, my first character died! What do you think about this one?" to anyone who has played RPGs.
Ed Speelers should be shot. His character, Eragon, is the worst Mary Sue I've seen in years. If this was a gaming group, there'd be riots and dead people because of the GM's pet character.
And the dragon. Oh dear... It's such an awful attempt at cuteness that YOU WANT TO TEAR YOUR EYES OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS. The less is said about Rachel Weisz' voice acting, the better.
Oh, and what kind of bakery has fortune-tellers? And what about Jeremy Irons being as fast in his horse as a freaking flying dragon? Don't tell me you didn't ask that to yourself when you see him at the dungeon...
As a matter of fact, if you haven't seen it yet, don't bother with it.
Movie Grade: D
Sanity Loss: C
Hawtness Index: C
Badass Factor: D
FX: B-