Andrew, you're a sad sack of shit. While you're here wasting your time bragging about what a cheap, lazy bastard you are, you could be crafting a finely-honed love poem guaranteed to get your girlfriend to bang you Thursday night. But here you are, being an asocial dipshit. Meanwhile, your girlfriend is watching reruns of "The Biggest Loser" (and, no, I don't mean you), wondering if she's going to have to kick your lame ass to the curb in two nights' time.
Asshole.
!i!