Honestly? I don't think that sort of plan works real well in a world where, y'know, misunderstandings happen.
[...]
But in reality, the moment there is some slight misunderstanding (the classic case being "a soldier sees a snake in the grass, about to bite him, and shoots it") what happens is that everyone escalates from the misunderstanding, and both sides cut into each other with the unquestioning ferocity of people convinced that they bear no responsibility for what is happening.[...]
This idea that conflicts only occur because of misunderstandings is a very nice idea, very comforting to people who dislike conflict.
Unfortunately it's wrong.
Usually conflicts happen because two or more people or groups have different ideas of how things should be done. If the other guy's ideas seem to be winning out at the moment, then you get pissed off and arc up, attack! attack! attack! Sometimes conflicts are
inevitable. Sometimes the only way to resolve the conflict is to fight it out.
Is the guy right this time? I dunno. Insults themselves won't do much.
"Dear Ron Edwards, you are a cock. Love, JimBobOz."
"Dear JimBobOz, you're right! I'll withdraw the GNS essay immediately! Love, Uncle Ronny."
Probably not.
But insults and general hostility can have the positive benefit of driving away the conflicting people from forums, etc. If someone comes to therpgsite just to Spread The Word, he's (it's always a "he" who comes to spread a word, women spend a lot of time in society being shut up, so the missionary spirit is suppressed in them) - he's going to get a hard time.
Part of the way a community - online or otherwise - establishes itself is by excluding people. Rpg.net excludes people who break one of the ten rules, the Forge excludes people who question Uncle Ronny, therpgsite excludes people who use too many long words, a small town excludes criminals, a religious community excludes non-believers, etc. The community defines "us" by saying "we are not
them", "them" being the ones excluded. So insults, etc, from a poster mean that the guy can take part in the exclusion. He gets to be a leader in the community.
Whether this is useful or good, I don't know. But it's the way things happen. For my part, while I am happy to exclude those I dislike, I'm more interested in promoting what I do like. So I devote words and thought to
Why Game Groups Fuck Up, and so on. That usually excludes by implication, but it comes to the same thing. Uncle Ronny would take one look at the front page of that and walk away. And that's good.
The idea that all conflict is caused by misunderstanding leads to the idea that if only everyone keeps talking, eventually everyone will understand each-other and get along famously. It's simply not true. Often we understand someone perfectly well, and that's exactly why we can't stand them. Their ideas are simply offensive or stupid to us.
TonyLB cops the shit for the Forgers because he's constantly defending and apologising for them. "No, wait, I don't think that means what you think it means."