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Author Topic: Marvel goes Full SJW and creates two characters called Snowflake and Safespace  (Read 4468 times)

Ghostmaker

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The best part is how tragically stupid the concepts are.

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A Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather's "experimental internet gas." Now he can see augmented reality and real-time maps, and can instantly Google any fact. Does this make him effectively a genius? He sure acts like it does.

This is probably the best of the lot; someone perpetually connected to the Internet (aside from, y'know, having to sift through mountains of pr0n) would be a pretty formidable character. What the hell is 'experimental Internet gas'? I thought we already had this discussion with the Internet being/not being a series of tubes?

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Psychic Twins. "All twins are psychic, but we're psychic-er." Snowflake, a cryokinetic, can materialize snowflake-shaped shuriken projectiles for throwing. Safespace can materialize pink forcefields, but he can't inhabit them himself, the reflex only works if he's protecting others. They're hyper aware of modern culture and optics, and they see their Super Heroics as "a post-ironic meditation on using violence to combat bullying." They're probably streaming this.

Aside from being monumentally dated in their motivations, these two are basically a dime-store Invisible Woman and Iceman, with 10 percent of those heroes' abilities (and probably 10 percent of their charisma as well).

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A teen "living vampire" exposed to Michael Morbius's blood as a child in a rogue, but life-saving medical procedure. He still ages like a regular kid, but has all the abilities of Morbius. He's also obsessed with all the music and attitude of a "classic" long-past decades like the '90s, and the '00s. "The world is a vampire…and so am I."

Found the Vampire: The Masquerade fanboy. Also, I thought Morbius destroyed all his research and was hellbent on reversing his condition. Why the hell would he inflict it on a teenager? Jesus I need a drink.

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A regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing. Her "magic backpack" is actually a pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, from which she can pull out useful or random objects--it's not always under her control. She claims to get her power from god, but "not the god you're thinking of."

Worst visual design ever. Hint to artists and writers: Big Bertha worked as a character because it was played for laughs and she WAS actually competent (if not outstanding). The irony is that the magic backpack isn't a terrible idea -- but I get the suspicion it'll be used as deus ex machina as needed.

Ratman_tf

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I fully endorse the woke crew at Marvel making their own characters instead of bending existing ones into a woke mold.
I can't wait to see them punch The Patriarchy(TM) in the face because he told a little girl she couldn't play baseball with the boys.
The notion of an exclusionary and hostile RPG community is a fever dream of zealots who view all social dynamics through a narrow keyhole of structural oppression.
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rgalex

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Doesn't matter now.  Diamond, THE distributor for comics, is down for the foreseeable future due to the virus.  No new comics will be hitting the shelves. They are urging comic shops that are still open to push the sale of their current graphic novel stock and they should be able to keep perennials available.

tenbones

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Is anyone really surprised? I'm not.

Bear witness to the rightful end of this industry.

Clear room for the new.

Omega

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Quote from: tenbones;1124905
Is anyone really surprised? I'm not.

Bear witness to the rightful end of this industry.

Clear room for the new.

Problem is the new will quickly get infiltrated and co-opted. Assuming they werent SJWs to begin with. This disease of the mind spreads faster, more virulent and more insidious than any natural germ ever could.

Its one of the crazyest things ever. Like out of some sort of sci-fi story really. One day Joe was fine. The next he was infected and part of the cult.

BoxCrayonTales

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Quote from: Omega;1124879
Probably more out there. Its a popular recurring concept.

And somehow still better done than this modern junk.
Thanks for letting me know.

I suspect the novelty is because it takes well known monsters and flips their role in the story.

Quote from: Ghostmaker;1124893
Found the Vampire: The Masquerade fanboy.
That game is actually far more niche than people think it is. The video game adaptation from 2004 is actually far more well-known than all the tabletop games combined.

Most people get their dose of vampire lore from romance novels, b-movies, comic books, and TV shows. B-Negative is pretty much every male vampire love interest rolled into one. Punk rocker aesthetic, rebellious teenager attitude, woefully out of touch with modern culture, his outfit emphasis his crotch like David Bowie in Labyrinth (despite him being underage), and droves of psychotic teenage girls would probably try to harass him like they did Robert Pattinson.

Lurkndog

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Quote
A Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather's "experimental internet gas." Now he can see augmented reality and real-time maps, and can instantly Google any fact. Does this make him effectively a genius? He sure acts like it does.


Sounds like a knockoff of Freakazoid!.
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candlejack

Ratman_tf

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Quote from: lurkndog;1124935
sounds like a knockoff of freakazoid!.
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candlejack

chimpanzee!
The notion of an exclusionary and hostile RPG community is a fever dream of zealots who view all social dynamics through a narrow keyhole of structural oppression.
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BoxCrayonTales

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Quote from: Lurkndog;1124935
Sounds like a knockoff of Freakazoid!.

Or a Ben 10 watch gijinka.

Omega

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Meanwhile Marvel and DC and probably a few others seem hellbent on augering themselves into the dirt with ever more stupid product no one wants. While Disney is doing their best to outdo them.

CRKrueger

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Quote from: BoxCrayonTales;1124837
Even on tumblr fan-artists are redesigning Trailblazer so that she's either athletic or rubenesque.

Children of the Atom is painfully uncreative. The characters are blatant clones of their mentors without anything to set them apart. The nightcrawler clone, for example, has a mechanical tail to better duplicate Nightcrawler.

For comparison, my most uncreative idea for a comic book superhero team was to make a superhero/boyband team out of horror movie villains. An intentionally silly boyband of monsters-turned-superheroes with names like Kid Dracula, The Wolf-Boy, and Frank N. Stine.


That would sell better than this trash.
Even the the "cutting edge" storygamers for all their talk of narrative, plot, and drama are fucking obsessed with the god damned rules they use. - Estar

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Warder

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No no you got it wrong, Snowflake and Safespace are the Storm twins but with added Incest! Now that will make the poeple happy, gotta rake in that Game of Thrones crowd to comics. Now all they need is a small person brother them dont care about cause hes not super but still a part of the Patriarchy. Wait, he might be the Patriachy(TM)!

Hawkwing7423

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Quote from: Omega;1124699
They read like applications for the West Coast Avengers. You know, the group with Dinah Soar, Big Bertha, Doorman, and that cancer of the marvelverse, Squirrel Girl.


Slight thread necro but I'm playing the Marvel tablet game and they added Squirrel Girl. I'm like "that is a thing??" Ludicrous.
I guess I have to go read up on the story of this absurd character.

Omega

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Quote from: Hawkwing7423;1141733
Slight thread necro but I'm playing the Marvel tablet game and they added Squirrel Girl. I'm like "that is a thing??" Ludicrous.
I guess I have to go read up on the story of this absurd character.

Squirrel Girl is marvels attempt at creating a more marketable version of Deadpool. By doing with Squirrel Girl what they did with Deadpool. Hype it to death. Then start tunnelling towards Hell. DC's done the same with Ambush Bug and Lobo.

GeekyBugle

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Aaaaaaaaaaand looks like Safe Space and Snowflake will still sully the comic book stores' shelves.
“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.”

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