Given that 2007 will be the year of the arthritic adventurers, with harrison form, sylvester stallone and bruce willis reprising roles from 20+ years ago due to hollywood's accelerating and increasing inability to create new characters or find new stars worth risking the big bucks on, some hollywood insiders have announced a possible new strategy in upcoming years.

"Well", an insider said under cover of anonymity "if movie audiences are going to see guys in their 60's as action heroes this year, we're going to take the next logical step and use dead stars in future productions."

When asked how hollywood planned to do this, the insider replied "We already did it with Marlon Brando in "superman Returns", using old footage shown in a new way combined with old dialogue. In the future, we'll use computer generated images of dead stars along with computer generated voice technology, coupled with the thousands of words they said on tape, to recreate the stars of the past because we sure as hell can't create any new ones worth watching."

The first of the dead stars to be recreated will likely be John Wayne, although there may be problems at first as the duke never used the F word or appeared nude, so the computer generation technicians will have to do some creative work to get the classic star up to modern standards.

Marylin Monroe will be next, in all likliehood.

"Sure," the insider admitted "remaking dead stars seems creepy, but hell, we've been remaking movies and plots for about 30 years now, and this is just a logical extension of Hollywood's gradual atrophication of creativity and unwillingless to do anything that isn't a tested formula.

"Plus it's sure easier than trying to get anything new done!" The insider concluded.




(Note: For the benefit of the thinking impaired, the above post was a satire.)

Quote from: Dominus Nox(Note: For the benefit of the thinking impaired, the above post was a satire.)

Is your whole existence one huge satire,Dominus?

The main problem with viewing this as satire is that it's just not very funny.

And the other problem is that it's already been done, for real, in commercials.

The responses in this thread are, I think, overly harsh due to the OP's reputation. It is satire, it is vaguely amusing, if not exactly original, and for once it lacks the over the top insanity we've come to expect from Nox.

You should be encouraging the poor dear, not driving him back to the crap he usually posts.

Quote from: SpikeYou should be encouraging the poor dear, not driving him back to the crap he usually posts.

You sound like some kind of social working moderator with this quote.Do you really think Dominus needs our support, or is that satire you are espousing?:confused:

Spike as a social worker - now that's funny...

Quote from: James J SkachSpike as a social worker - now that's funny...

Well, you know, if You shoot at someone just to make them dance, it's just uncool to shoot them for dancing, ya know?

I like to wait until they get tired of dancing... THEN shoot them for not dancing.

Sylvester Stallone is reappearing in a two roles HE CREATED and WROTE.  This is not some hollywood exec digging up some washed up actor and throwing him back in a role he's long since forgotten;

This is a guy whsoe best years have past him by, and he wants to go out using the two best things he ever created - Rocky and Rambo.  Take them back from the hollywood sequel trash he allowed them to become, and dust off what made them great.  I want to see Rocky Balboa, just because I want to see what he does with it, one last time.  I'm interested in seeing Rambo, for the same reasons.

I may not be a huge Stallone fan, but I don't begrudge him one last kick at the can, trying to taker his best creations, wipe the slime of hollywood execs off them, and bring them back full circle to where he started them from, and have them remembered not for Rocky V and Rambo III, but as the genius creations they were.

Quote from: James J SkachAnd the other problem is that it's already been done, for real, in commercials.

And in movies.  Superman Returns ressurected the dead Marlon Brando.