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The Lounge => Media and Inspiration => Topic started by: Zalmoxis on June 06, 2007, 05:26:57 PM

Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Zalmoxis on June 06, 2007, 05:26:57 PM
I loves me some fuckin' bagels. I like to use the plain ones to make tuna melts. I also like to use the cinnamon raisin ones for two reasons: 1. they're delicious with sweet cream cheese, & 2. Muslims have to wait to go to paradise to get their 72 raisins, but I'm not a Muslim, and so I get them in my bagels.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 06, 2007, 06:22:03 PM
The best part about fuckin' bagels is watching my wife lick off the cream cheese.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: David Johansen on June 06, 2007, 06:22:54 PM
mmm...bagels...I'm 37 hours into a 48 hour fast for a medical procedure and damn if a bagel wouldn't make me a happy man.  Raisins or no.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Werekoala on June 06, 2007, 06:40:52 PM
Quote from: James McMurray
The best part about fuckin' bagels is watching my wife lick off the cream cheese.



I agree.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 06, 2007, 06:43:21 PM
You've been watching my wife?
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Werekoala on June 06, 2007, 07:43:54 PM
Quote from: James McMurray
You've been watching my wife?

:mischief:
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 06, 2007, 08:08:31 PM
Can't blame ya. :D
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: arminius on June 06, 2007, 08:25:54 PM
Quote from: David Johansen
mmm...bagels...I'm 37 hours into a 48 hour fast for a medical procedure and damn if a bagel wouldn't make me a happy man.  Raisins or no.

Best wishes on that.

Also, I don't think I could voluntarily fast for 48 hours. Are  you at least allowed to drink punch and the like?
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Zalmoxis on June 06, 2007, 09:26:42 PM
Quote from: James McMurray
The best part about fuckin' bagels is watching my wife lick off the cream cheese.


:pics:
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 06, 2007, 09:49:07 PM
Sorry. My cream cheese won't be going near any bagels for quite some time if I posted those. :)
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Zalmoxis on June 06, 2007, 09:58:22 PM
Quote from: James McMurray
Sorry. My cream cheese won't be going near any bagels for quite some time if I posted those. :)


LOL! I bet. :D
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: David Johansen on June 06, 2007, 11:21:06 PM
Quote from: Elliot Wilen
Best wishes on that.

Also, I don't think I could voluntarily fast for 48 hours. Are  you at least allowed to drink punch and the like?


Clear fluids, broth, and two slices of melba toast yesterday.

Tommorow they'll put a drain snake with a camera and a claw up my ass and another  camera down my throat.  But probably after two or three enemas.

Not exactly a thrill.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James J Skach on June 06, 2007, 11:29:04 PM
Are you my brother-in-law?  poor bastard has to go through the same thing.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 06, 2007, 11:31:29 PM
I most certainly don't envy you. Goo luck man!

For a second there I thought that title under your name was "scatifier."
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: RPGPundit on June 07, 2007, 12:18:44 AM
(http://xbe.xanga.com/7e7c12e151d3482739295/b47938225.jpg)

Ok, seriously, here's where we need a "Go Back to Tangency" sign emoticon. WTF are we making threads like this here?

RPGPundit
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: David Johansen on June 07, 2007, 12:25:41 AM
Quote from: James J Skach
Are you my brother-in-law?  poor bastard has to go through the same thing.


Nope, but it's a pretty common procedure.  They want you to have it done every 3-5 years if anyone in your immediate family has had colon cancer.

And Pundit, that's a damn hilarious picture.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Stumpydave on June 07, 2007, 03:21:57 AM
Aah! It's so cute.  Talking about ickle-wickle bread products.  Asking for piccies of ickle-wickle bread products.  It'll be fucking vibes and keetooms and pie next.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: David Johansen on June 07, 2007, 06:37:34 AM
See here man, I haven't eaten in two days!  I can't eat vibes and even at this point I'm not so sure I'd eat a kitten.  I want that fuckin' bagel!
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 07, 2007, 10:55:39 AM
Quote from: RPGPundit
Ok, seriously, here's where we need a "Go Back to Tangency" sign emoticon. WTF are we making threads like this here?


Why not?
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: RPGPundit on June 07, 2007, 01:13:57 PM
Quote from: James McMurray
Why not?

Because this is the sort of puerile shit you find on Tangency/RPG.net.  I'm not saying its not allowed, I'm just saying its a fucking waste of bandwidth that lessens you all.

Edit: its also time you could be spending talking about RPGs.

RPGPundit
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Koltar on June 07, 2007, 01:35:33 PM
Fine....Lets loop it all around back to RPGs.

 Here's the setting : the player characters are contestants on a reality show to find new Superheroes.  One "Hero" gets his powers from touching video games, another one - she gets her powers boosted every time she eats donuts (or maybe bagels).

 Thing is, right when a winner and runner-up are declared  - a REAL super powered menace shows up .


 Sound familiar ? It should . The first 90% of that was a TV show on Sci-Fi channel last summer.

- Ed C.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: David Johansen on June 07, 2007, 01:53:29 PM
Well the procedure's done and I have no cancer, which is a good thing, and I'm eating melba toast and cherries and who knows, maybe even a bagel!  Though certainly not a fucking one with "cream cheese"
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Pierce Inverarity on June 07, 2007, 02:12:26 PM
I had that done to me a few months ago. Only the throat part, but still. Genius that I am, I told them to do it without anesthesia. After all, how bad could it be?

Well, turns out the answer is: bad.

Very, very bad.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James J Skach on June 07, 2007, 02:41:12 PM
David, I doubt we see eye-to-eye on much here, but congrats - good news.

Pierce - they want to do that to me cause of the reflux shit I've had for 25 years.  I'm not looking forward to it to the point of avoidance...

Pundy - ahh go fuck yourself.  You lessen yourself by coming in here and telling us we lessen ourselves - you fucking swine.

Damn...I am ranty after lunch.  I need meds...
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Pierce Inverarity on June 07, 2007, 02:45:24 PM
Quote from: James J Skach

Pierce - they want to do that to me cause of the reflux shit I've had for 25 years.  I'm not looking forward to it to the point of avoidance...


I have that! The Prilosec, it does nothing!

They tell me to quit smoking, drinking, eating beef... what's up with that shit?!? Spare me--go invent some medication that works, and stuff.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Pierce Inverarity on June 07, 2007, 02:47:13 PM
PS: 25 years, seriously? They do need to have a look, you know... it's not this dramatic illness, but there can be some long-term issues.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 07, 2007, 03:13:48 PM
Glad to hear you're good!

Anyone want a bagel? I have it on a good authority they'll help you lose weight. Or at least talking about them will lessen you, which sounds like the same thing.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James J Skach on June 07, 2007, 03:18:30 PM
Jimmy...I hear it helps you los weight if you talk about them while running on the treadmill..it's this revolutionary new diet supplement called bageldoiten..

Pierce - yeah, they had me on aciphex...that stuff kicks ass! But having it for 25 years, there's apparently some "concern" among "medical research" blah blah blah cancer....that's about how I hear it :D

I'm scheduled to see the doc again next week...once you get over 40, shit gets scary...

EDIT: Oh yeah - not to be a anti smoker, cause occasionally...anyway...that makes a huge difference.  When I don't smoke it's like night and day, with our without aciphex.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 07, 2007, 03:56:49 PM
Treadmills? Those look too much like a big flat piece of dough to mesh with my bagelocity philosophizing.

I was a long time smoker and quit about ten years back. It had an amazing change on my general conditioning as far as endurance goes. I personally would never go back.

Then again, my dad smokes two packs and a nickel bag a day in Colorado and spends his time hiking cross country and climbing mountains.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: David Johansen on June 07, 2007, 05:50:23 PM
Quote from: James J Skach
David, I doubt we see eye-to-eye on much here, but congrats - good news.

Pierce - they want to do that to me cause of the reflux shit I've had for 25 years.  I'm not looking forward to it to the point of avoidance...


James, I still need to find a bagel, I had a corned beef sandwich and the rest of the melba tost though.  When I had two slices for supper Tuesday night I swore that if I lived I'd eat the whole damn pack.

You shouldn't be too scared of the procedure.  The laxative, yes.  The nursing student that puts in the IV wrong, certainly.  But all I remember of the procedure itself is that for a moment something hurt enough I almost woke up and I can remember it hurting.  I'd guess that's when the clipped the polyp.  Apparently I was gestating a migo.

But the laxative?  Man!  I was shitting pure rain water on day two.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: One Horse Town on June 07, 2007, 06:26:41 PM
To further derail the thread, i got you all beat. Last year, i had a camera inserted into an orifice far smaller than the throat or arse...

And yes, it hurt. :(
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: Black Flag on June 07, 2007, 07:18:41 PM
Try the whole-wheat bagels, folks. 'Cuz by the sounds of it, some of you need to consume more fiber. Me, I take in three or four times the recommended amount per day. And now that we're intimate, anybody want to see a picture of my pussy? She's part Russian blue and part white shorthair.

And I swear, the first person to come on here and ask for "vibes" will get them--the bad kind, that is...
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James McMurray on June 07, 2007, 09:21:55 PM
Whole wheat's for pussies.* Real men spend their later years rotting away slowly from the inside.

*and people that own them.
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James J Skach on June 08, 2007, 12:33:12 PM
Quote from: One Horse Town
To further derail the thread, i got you all beat. Last year, i had a camera inserted into an orifice far smaller than the throat or arse...

And yes, it hurt. :(

I just have two word for you - Kidney Stones. 4. So far.:eek:
Title: Fuckin' Bagels
Post by: James J Skach on June 08, 2007, 12:35:40 PM
Quote from: Black Flag
Try the whole-wheat bagels, folks. 'Cuz by the sounds of it, some of you need to consume more fiber. Me, I take in three or four times the recommended amount per day. And now that we're intimate, anybody want to see a picture of my pussy? She's part Russian blue and part white shorthair.

And I swear, the first person to come on here and ask for "vibes" will get them--the bad kind, that is...

My Dad got me a Russian Blue pussy when I turned 13...said it was time to become a man.




Apparently he thought having a cat would teach me responsibility.

What?