I cannot speak for Anemone or any woman, but my instinct is that if something like
this thread gives a clue.
They speak of a woman gamer, Nina, who happens to be a mod at rpg.net. Anthrobot asks if she's hot. Then we got,
Just for the record: having met Nina in person at GenCon '05, she is entirely worth having the hots for.
The responses were,
I've never found a 'holier than thou' attitude an attractive character trait in a woman, no matter how physically attractive she is. Nina's physical attractiveness is irrelevant to the matter of how she moderates. My asking Balbinus if he "had the hots for her?" was merely a joke.
"Worth having the hots for?" Specify, please. Do you mean "she's attractive, but only in the context of a Babylon 5 fan gathering" or do you mean "I'd stick it between her melons!". How hot are we talking here, Dan Davenport, if that's your real name? And if Dan Davenport is Dan Davenport's real name, are you the real Dan Davenport? Are you a Dan Davenport's Dan Davenport?
and
Yeah, we want a patented Davenport review of how hot Nina is.
"The melons would need some serious tweaking before I'd decide to use them for extended play rather than as a one-shot or some fun at a con"
Nobody asked if she were a good roleplayer or GM; you might think this would be relevant on the
rpgsite, but apparently not. Sure, Anthrobot was "only joking" when he asked if Nina was hot, but joking about whether or not some random woman most of us have never met and never will is hot, that leads to a masculine sort of atmosphere which isn't terribly welcoming to women.
If the talk then goes on to whether this woman is good for titfucking, well then that particular woman almost certainly won't feel welcome here, and probably women in general will feel a bit uncomfortable.
I mean, they don't come to the
rpgsite to talk about titfucking. They don't come to a roleplaying games discussion site to talk about sex, they come here to talk about roleplaying. If they find sex talk, well then they'll be less interested in the roleplaying talk. Of course, most of us men don't come here to talk about sex, either - but we've got a few lonely losers who do.
I've learned a lot from some articles and blogs I read recently, and I talk about them on my LJ
here.
I stand ready to be corrected by Anemone or any other woman, but these are my impressions. If women want to talk about titfucking or how h4wt they are, they can go to (say) literotica.com; this is the
rpgsite.
My instinct is that if you want to make women gamers feel welcome, then you should talk... about games!