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Author Topic: The Crawl - in the Deadly Dark Dungeons of Demonic Dank and Depressing Death  (Read 926 times)

Kyle Aaron

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So, this was an impromptu session in #rpgnet on the magicstar server. A poster walked into the room, and I started saying, "okay, he's here, finally. Of course you meet in an inn and decide to adventure together..."

SO began the grand saga of The Crawl.

[08:19] * JimBob is now known as t3hDM
[08:20] t3hDM Yes you can be a cleric of Thor
[08:20] * TheOmnipotentWang is now known as goingforasmoke
[08:20] * UnicornDL is now known as Frankie-the-Bard
[08:20] t3hDM what a stupid character name
[08:20] t3hDM "goingforasmoke, the lesbianstripperninja" man
[08:20] goingforasmoke shut up newb!
[08:20] * t3hDM rolls on the DM Random Smackdown Table
[08:20] * AWOLJoe is now known as DurinkanClericOfThor
[08:21] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [1d100]: 45>  
[08:21] Frankie-the-Bard "Don't mess with me, I've got connections. Sammy! Dean! Get me another drink and a broad."
[08:21] Frankie-the-Bard "And make her a blonde this time."
[08:21] t3hDM "Rocks fall. goingforasmoke stubs her toe. -1 DEX for 1d6 hours."
[08:21] Frankie-the-Bard "Sucks to be you, darling."
[08:21] goingforasmoke Whatever.
[08:21] goingforasmoke I'm a lesbianstripperninja, I had 50 dex anyways.
[08:21] morn'
[08:22] t3hDM Oddsod what are you calling your Cleric of Thor
[08:22] t3hDM MC Hammer, I guess?
[08:22] DurinkanClericOfThor IIRC, I was playing the Cleric.
[08:22] Frankie-the-Bard "Nobody messes with Frank. That's what I say."
[08:22] t3hDM oh yeah
[08:22] t3hDM I got confused by your calling yourself a cleric
[08:22] DurinkanClericOfThor And he's a Dwarf. Because all Dwarves worship the Norse Pantheon.
[08:23] goingforasmoke anyways, I really am going for a smoke...Back in a bit.
[08:23] t3hDM yeah of course
[08:23] t3hDM everyone knows that, sheesh
[08:23] t3hDM alright so the town mayor asks if you've cleaned out the dungeon yet
[08:23] t3hDM he looks at the bard
[08:23] Frankie-the-Bard "We're on it. I've got my guys calling their guys, you know?"
[08:24] t3hDM "Well it has been outside the town for 122 years, we can't wait too much longer."
[08:24] Frankie-the-Bard "That dungeon won't be a problem by the morning."
[08:24] Frankie-the-Bard "You can wait however long Frank SAYS you wait."
[08:24] t3hDM "Alright but there'll be a late-fulfillment penalty. 5% per day you're late."
[08:25] DurinkanClericOfThor Is there a tavern nearby? I need to worship my god by the drinking of ale.
[08:25] t3hDM you are IN a tavern. Remember you met there and decided to adventure together
[08:25] Frankie-the-Bard "Frank don't pay no fines. I could shove that fine straight up your mucker, of ya know what I mean."
[08:26] t3hDM The town mayor flips Frankie the bird and walks away.
[08:26] Frankie-the-Bard "I got pieces of guys bigger than you in my stool!"
[08:26] t3hDM Oddsod what is Ronnie the Rogue doing
[08:27] Frankie-the-Bard "Ronnie! We could get you made king of this place. Or president, or somethin'."
[08:28] DurinkanClericOfThor Oh, right. I buy a... keg of ale, and dedicate it to Thor. Never know when you need some holy ale.
[08:28] t3hDM Of course
[08:28] t3hDM I think Oddsod is reading comics at the game table again
[08:29] * t3hDM rolls of the DM Random Smackdown Table
[08:29] Frankie-the-Bard Darnit! Odd! What did we say about the adult compcs at the table!
[08:29] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [1d100]: 83>  
[08:29] t3hDM "Player must pay for pizza."
[08:29] Frankie-the-Bard Darnit, he's got nossie out of the sewer again...
[08:30] * DurinkanClericOfThor adds "Keg of Holy Ale" to his character sheet.
[08:30] Frankie-the-Bard (In other news, I WANT a DM random smackdown table...)
[08:30] t3hDM (There's one in Hackmaster)
[08:30] Frankie-the-Bard (Oh, darnit. I haven't read my books yet.)
[08:30] (I'm arguing politics somewhere else.)
[08:31] Frankie-the-Bard "Hey, toots? Ale for me and the boys."
[08:31] t3hDM (Bugger politics. This is more important!)
[08:31] t3hDM a buxom barmaid brings over some big jugs. And some ale, too.
[08:31] Frankie-the-Bard I give her a squeeze where it counts. "Leter, babe."
[08:32] t3hDM roll your 1337 s3duction skillzorz
[08:32] DurinkanClericOfThor "Praise Thor! Thank ye, lass, for the ale!"
[08:32] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard
[1d100]: 12>  
[08:32] (I'm also getting more people to help write RPGs to post on RPGNow.)
[08:33] DurinkanClericOfThor I drink my ale. Not the holy ale, mind you, just the stuff I havn't blessed.
[08:33] DurinkanClericOfThor (If holy water harms undead, what would holy ale harm?)
[08:33] (Y'know, that whole "money" thing.)
[08:33] t3hDM She seems pretty unimpressed by your seduction attempt, Frankie. You have the feeling you're not the first customer to grab fleshy bits of her.
[08:33] Frankie-the-Bard "No matter, you ain't my type anyway."
[08:33] t3hDM Holy ale would harm non-drinkers
[08:34] t3hDM Luckily, none of the skeletons in the dungeon are drinkers.
[08:34] t3hDM Rocks fall, and Oddsod's rogue dies.
[08:34] t3hDM We need a new rogue
[08:34] Frankie-the-Bard "Darn rock and roll. These kids today..."
[08:35] goingforasmoke I flash my boobs.
[08:35] goingforasmoke newb.
[08:35] Frankie-the-Bard "Hey, babe! Where ya been all my life?"
[08:35] * goingforasmoke is now known as smokietheLSN
[08:35] smokietheLSN scoping hot chicks.
[08:36] Frankie-the-Bard "Oooh, you're one of those? No sweat. One night with the Frank, and you'll be pitching for the home team..."
[08:36] * Joins: DurinsBane
[08:36] * ChanServ sets mode: +o DurinsBane
[08:37] smokietheLSN newb, all men must die.
[08:37] t3hDM Well okay I guess a lesbianstripperninja, a cleric and a bard are enough for a dungeon
[08:37] Frankie-the-Bard "Careful. I can chew you up and spit you to Newark!"
[08:37] t3hDM Outside you hear a sound like thunder and a high-itched whistle
[08:37] t3hDM you look out the window and there's a train going by.
[08:37] Frankie-the-Bard "What the hecks with the itchy whistle?"
[08:38] * Frankie-the-Bard scratches.
[08:38] t3hDM A man in uniform calls out, "train to dungeon, all aboard!"
[08:38] t3hDM The buxom barmaid says, "it will save you a lot of walking."
[08:38] Frankie-the-Bard (Aaaand, we have railroad!)
[08:38] smokietheLSN I change out of my skin tight leather outfit into a skin tight pleather outfit, hop on my motercycle, and ignore the plot.
[08:39] t3hDM Smokie is run over by the train on the way out
[08:39] Frankie-the-Bard "Pardon me boy, is this the Dungeon o' Doom Choo Choo?"
[08:39] t3hDM "Yes it is."
[08:39] DurinkanClericOfThor "Aye, walking with me keg o' the Holy Ale would get mighty tiring."
[08:39] * smokietheLSN is now known as smokiethedeadLSN
[08:39] t3hDM she is stuck under the train, dragged along with it.
[08:39] Frankie-the-Bard "Good. Don't wanna end up in freaking Tulsa again."
[08:39] t3hDM ten minutes later the train stops outside the dungeon.
[08:39] "gurk
[08:40] Frankie-the-Bard "I told Dean I won't play Tulsa."
[08:40] t3hDM There are a bunch of fat Americans with loud hawaiin shirts, cameras, and fat kids with icecream smeared on their faces.
[08:40] t3hDM They are loudly arguing with a tour guide
[08:40] Frankie-the-Bard "Somebody scrape up the broad, there."
[08:40] t3hDM the tour guide is saying it's not possible to tour the dungeon as it's filled with monsters
[08:40] t3hDM They tourists are saying, "we know our rights!"
[08:40] * Frankie-the-Bard throws Twinkies into the crowd as a distraction.
[08:41] t3hDM There's a sign outside the dungeon saying, "Adventurethisway. Dangrus."
[08:41] Frankie-the-Bard "Dangrus. Darn. Had him as an agent in 47."
[08:41] t3hDM the tourists leap at the twinkies like piranhas leaping at a donkey's balls.
[08:42] DurinkanClericOfThor "Forward to adventure and glory! And more gold for ale!"
[08:42] * Frankie-the-Bard leads the pack into the now-open dungeon.
[08:42] t3hDM the dungeon mouth beckons...
[08:42] And eats a fat kid.
[08:42] t3hDM you walk into the dungeon
[08:42] t3hDM smokie, are you checking for traps?
[08:42] Frankie-the-Bard "Sure does have a purty mouth..."
[08:42] * t3hDM laughs
[08:43] Frankie-the-Bard "I like this place's tastes. A few rugs, a craps table, some roulette, we could have this place swinging."
[08:44] t3hDM it's kind of grey and looks a bit like foam roughly cut and painted grey.
[08:44] Frankie-the-Bard "Like I said. Style. Maybe some paint."
[08:44] t3hDM bats swoop out eerily from above
[08:44] t3hDM they flap past going, "neener, neener"
[08:45] Frankie-the-Bard "Shaddup, you flying rats! WE'RE the only Rat Pack around here!"
[08:45] DurinkanClericOfThor Can I use my racial abilities to figure out more about the stones and the corridor?
[08:45] t3hDM roll, Drunken
[08:45] Frankie-the-Bard "So, here are the Stones, where are the Doors? I've got a score to settle with that Morrison fellah."
[08:46] t3hDM I told you no puns!
[08:46] * t3hDM rolls on the DM Random Smackdown Table
[08:46] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [1d100]: 68>  
[08:46] Frankie-the-Bard ::to indescriminate voice in the sky:: "You don't tell Frankie what to do!"
[08:46] t3hDM "Player may eat no more cheetos for remainder of session."
[08:47] * Frankie-the-Bard rolls on the Sinatra Smackdown Table...
[08:47] * t3hDM wonders wtf Smokie is doing
[08:47] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard
[1d100]: 32>  
[08:47] t3hDM Now I remember why it takes ten minutes to cover 120'
[08:47] Frankie-the-Bard "GM's brother now sleeps with the fishes."
[08:48] Frankie-the-Bard "Like I said, nobody messes with the Frank."
[08:48] Frankie-the-Bard "Sammy! Get that torch up here!"
[08:49] Frankie-the-Bard (I'm having fun. This is frightening. I don't HAVE fun.)
[08:49] I'm being dead
[08:50] t3hDM who said you were dead? I just said you were run over
[08:50] Well, it's in the name isn't it?
[08:50] * smokiethedeadLSN is now known as smokethealiveLSN
[08:50] t3hDM stop sulking just because we wouldn't let you roll for your Evade The Plot skillzorz.
[08:50] * Frankie-the-Bard coats the corridor with the former LSN.
[08:50] smokethealiveLSN Anyways, I resurrect.
[08:50] t3hDM do you check for traps, smokie?
[08:51] smokethealiveLSN No, I was dead.
[08:51] smokethealiveLSN Oh, /do/ I?
[08:51] t3hDM okay, then
[08:51] smokethealiveLSN Sure.
[08:51] t3hDM Drunken falls into a ten foot pit
[08:51] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [1d6]: 6>  
[08:51] t3hDM he takes a big 6 HP of damage
[08:51] Frankie-the-Bard "Yeah. Check for traps, then check for a high-class bar. My martini needs a refill."
[08:51] t3hDM it was just a hole in the ground
[08:52] t3hDM not covered or anythign
[08:52] t3hDM but you need the Detect Traps skill to see a hole in the ground
[08:52] DurinkanClericOfThor I didn't say I was walking anywhere!
[08:52] smokethealiveLSN Actually, I'm dead again.
[08:52] Frankie-the-Bard "Dean! Throw Jerry down there and make him do something useful!:
[08:52] Frankie-the-Bard "
[08:52] * smokethealiveLSN is now known as TheOmnipotentWang
[08:52] I've got to go for a bit.
[08:53] Err... dare I ask WHAT THE DARN IS GOING ON HERE?
[08:53] later.
[08:53] o_o
[08:53] t3hDM you are just too scared of this 1337 dungeon!
[08:53] t3hDM Ithi, we are roleplaying
[08:53] Dungeon? Can I be a grue?! :D
[08:53] Frankie-the-Bard "And if I hear one more whiny sound come out of that guy, I'll ring him like Christmas bells!"
[08:53] t3hDM what are YOU doing?
[08:53] You've stumbled into the twilight zone.
[08:53] t3hDM no you can't be a grue
[08:53] t3hDM but you can be a half-orc if you want
[08:53] * Quits: TheOmnipotentWang (Disintegrated: leaving)
[08:53] Fine. Then I'll go back to idling. -_- All dark dungeons must have grues.
[08:54] t3hDM another wuss
[08:54] t3hDM you could be a Chaotic Stupid Half-Orc who thinks he's a grue
[08:54] Frankie-the-Bard I'll stop all traps by radiating my sheer cool.
[08:54] No, it's not the same. *does the raspberry*
[08:54] t3hDM okay, roll for Sheer Cool
[08:54] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 4>  
[08:54] t3hDM see guys? I told you girls don't roleplay.
[08:55] t3hDM wow, so much for your Sheer Cool
[08:55] Besides... Orcs are _green_.
[08:55] t3hDM you fall into a ten foot pit trap with spikes
[08:55] And I'm not going to have anything to do with them greenies.
[08:55] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [2d6]: 10>  
[08:55] t3hDM you take 10 HP of damage
[08:55] DurinkanClericOfThor I wanna cast a spell.
[08:55] * Ithildin gloats over Frankie's misfortune :P
[08:55] t3hDM Which spell Drunken?
[08:56] Frankie-the-Bard "Sammy! Drunken! Get me outta here!"
[08:56] DurinkanClericOfThor I want to cast... "Weather Control."
[08:56] Ah, so you are wacky-RP'ing?
[08:56] Frankie-the-Bard (IN A DUNGEON?)
[08:56] t3hDM Okay. What ind of weather do you give us
[08:56] t3hDM no Thanaeon this is entirely serious
[08:56] Sure it is.
[08:56] (Frankie, he'll call out rain and drown you in that pit, you know XD )
[08:56] Frankie-the-Bard ::to the voice from nowhere:: "I'll whacky you and your family, putz!"
[08:57] DurinkanClericOfThor Uhh...
[08:57] (Fine. What else could I be except a stupid half-orc, hrm?)
[08:57] *Ambiance* There is the distant sound of monsters' growling laughter
[08:57] t3hDM You could be a gay half-elf. Or perhaps a hungry hobbit.
[08:57] (How about a schizophrenic drow? :P )
[08:58] DurinkanClericOfThor Well, Thor's the god of storms... so... a tornado! At the distand sound of laughing monsters!
[08:58] Who thinks s/he's a gnome?
[08:58] No, a grue. ;)
[08:58] t3hDM no drows!
[08:58] t3hDM a tornado rips through the dungeon
[08:58] (Bah. Fine. Half-elf who thinks she's a grue? :P )
[08:58] t3hDM and pulls Frankie out of the spiked pit
[08:59] Frankie-the-Bard "Hey, I'm bleedin' down here!"
[08:59] t3hDM it puts Frankie at Drunken's feet
[08:59] Frankie-the-Bard "Well, who knew the weather could be a help?"
[08:59] * *Monsters'_Laughter* dies down amidst the roaring of the tornado
[08:59] t3hDM Behind you there appears a gay half-elf in bell bottoms going "grrr, rrr"
[08:59] DurinkanClericOfThor I cast Cure Light Wounds on Frankie. "Ye should be more careful on where ye step, lad."
[08:59] .......
[09:00] (Gay? That's it. I'm outta here. )
[09:00] Frankie-the-Bard "Frank knows where he's stepping. And what the heck's that?"
[09:00] t3hDM (You don't like happy characters?)
[09:00] * DurinsBane grabs his board and surfs the tornado with a "Cowabunga dude!"
[09:00] t3hDM It's a half-elf in bell bottoms going "grrr"
[09:01] * Ithildin is now known as Mitzy-the-Half-Elf
[09:01] Frankie-the-Bard ::me looks up at the odd voice from above:: "I can see that, twinkletoes."
[09:01] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Right. Who messed up my hair, hmm?"
[09:01] t3hDM you remember Mitzy from the train. She must have got stuck with the tourists for a bit.
[09:01] t3hDM What's Mitzy's class?
[09:01] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Ewww... there's a guy bleeding on your shoes, Drunken!"
[09:02] Frankie-the-Bard "Your hair looks perfectly fine, for someone whyo just went through the old Suck Express."
[09:02] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Ahahaha, well - gee, I don't know?)
[09:02] *Apparition_of_big_bad* My, my, aren't you a dysfunctional group?
[09:02] Frankie-the-Bard "No one messes with the Ratkin Pack. GOT IT?"
[09:02] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Ratkin? Ugh, naming politics..."
[09:02] t3hDM (At least we're gaming, Voice From The Sky, unlike certain BNGs)
[09:03] t3hDM (Mitzy you should be a rogue or a thief. We have no-one to check for traps except Frankie just walking into them)
[09:03] DurinkanClericOfThor "I'll be takin' yer dis right our of your function, um, Big Bad! In the name of Thor!"
[09:03] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Fine. Rogue, then. :P )
[09:03] Frankie-the-Bard "Get used to it, toots. No one parts the Pack."
[09:03] t3hDM okay so the party proceeds down the corridor
[09:03] t3hDM you see a distant light ahead
[09:04] t3hDM a flickering torch
[09:04] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "*grumbling* ... oh, you'll pay for this..."
[09:04] * Frankie-the-Bard hums a few bars of "New York, New York".
[09:04] * *Apparition_of_big_bad* vanishes amidst spooky laughter
[09:04] Frankie-the-Bard "Sammy? That you?"
[09:04] It's like Fred Colon invading a dungeon.
[09:04] t3hDM You hear a grunt, a jungle and a sigh
[09:04] t3hDM er a jingle
[09:04] DurinkanClericOfThor A jungle!!!
[09:04] t3hDM then a splosh
[09:04] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Err... guys... Sammy make that kind of noise?"
[09:05] DurinkanClericOfThor Are there trees about?
[09:05] Frankie-the-Bard "Who put Rio down here? Well, it'd be nice to play Rio again."
[09:05] DurinkanClericOfThor I ready my Holy Ale!
[09:05] Frankie-the-Bard "When he's had too much to drink and can't aim? Yeah."
[09:05] t3hDM as you proceed down the corridor you see an orc with his trousers down sitting on a pot with a torch in one hand and a spear in the other.
[09:05] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf I pull out my crossbow and load it with Spazzy Bolt!
[09:06] Frankie-the-Bard I begin to sing my own rendition of "We Will Rock You".
[09:06] t3hDM He looks rather alarmed at your appearance.
[09:06] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Ohh... target practise.."
[09:06] Frankie-the-Bard (Yes, imagine Sinatra belting out Queen.)
[09:06] t3hDM Mitzy goes first because female gamers are h4wt and must always be favoured by the GM
[09:06] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Now, whatever you do... do NOT drop the torch and run"
[09:06] Frankie-the-Bard "Baby, I think the runs is exactly what he IS dropping."
[09:07] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf Okies. Since the Orc might actually be able to speak, I don't want to kill him - yet. :P Let's try and nail his foot to the dungeon floor?
[09:07] t3hDM the orc starts struggling to his feet, with his pants still around his ankles. Luckily his chain shirt is long and hides his ugly orcish danglies.
[09:07] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Okies, what do I roll? :D )
[09:07] t3hDM whatever you like to roll
[09:07] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (And how? :) )
[09:08] * Frankie-the-Bard rills for his song, to see if the orc is intimidated.
[09:08] t3hDM type /roll 3d6 #rpgnet, or 1d10 or 27+4 or whatever
[09:08] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 61>  
[09:08] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Didn't I just tell you not to... oh forget it, let's see how fast you run on one foot."
[09:08] t3hDM the orc looks like he thinks you're going to rock him
[09:08] t3hDM but Mitzy fires first anyway
[09:08] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [1d20]: 2>  
[09:09] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Blast! There goes a good bolt!"
[09:09] Frankie-the-Bard "Yeah, that's right, slushface. We WILL rock you."
[09:09] DurinkanClericOfThor Who goes next?
[09:09] * Frankie-the-Bard cuts the orc's foot off with his dagger.
[09:09] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 87>  
[09:09] t3hDM the bolt goes screaming off into the corridor past him, but ricochets back off a wall and goes in one ear and out the other. The orc falls over, his eyes rolling back into his head, then out onto the floor. Plop, plop.
[09:09] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf grumbles and fumbles for a pointy shortsword
[09:10] Frankie-the-Bard O_O
[09:10] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Err... I didn't mean to sharp-shoot, but... I guess I can't help it" *cough cough*
[09:10] Didn't expect that one.
[09:10] Frankie-the-Bard "Sweetie, you got one heck of an aim."
[09:10] t3hDM Drunken runs over with his dagger, but the pantsless orc is dead already
[09:10] t3hDM good for nothing but dinner
[09:10] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Of course I've got aim! I was born to hold this thing." *grins*
[09:11] Frankie-the-Bard "Unless he's providing some primavera, I'm going to Delmonico's."
[09:11] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Let's see... he got anything in his pockets...?"
[09:11] t3hDM The orc crapper is set in a little alcove. Across the way is a doorway, but the corridor also goes on.
[09:11] DurinkanClericOfThor "Nice shot, lass. Reminds me of the time that me friend Axebeard got pissed drunk and slew a whole company of kobolds without even realizing it."
[09:11] Frankie-the-Bard "Shall we get this gig over with?"
[09:11] t3hDM roll for search Mitzy
[09:11] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf pokes the Orc for any shinies
[09:12] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [1d10]: 5>  
[09:12] Frankie-the-Bard "I remember that. How you kill kobolds by giving them the old golden shower I'll never know."
[09:12] t3hDM you find 6 copper pieces, and a sausage in his pocket but he seems to be attached to it.
[09:12] So he's not just happy to see her?
[09:12] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Hmm... shinies... eh, what's this? Urgh!"
[09:13] DurinkanClericOfThor "Tis Thor's Holy Ale. Many magical properties it has."
[09:13] t3hDM Maybe he was, but not so much now that he's dead
[09:13] DurinkanClericOfThor (Yes, Durinkan's accent is all over the place.)
[09:13] t3hDM through the doorway you hear a feminine orcish voice calling something in orcish
[09:13] Frankie-the-Bard "No time for pleasure. Let's split."
[09:13] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf retreats from the corpse and wipes her hand on Frankie's tunic
[09:14] * Frankie-the-Bard starts to sing a romantic Orcish love ballad, in that crooning way.
[09:14] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Uh-oh. Boys... we might get company. Know any languages? You know, Orcish?"
[09:14] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 77>  
[09:14] t3hDM the Bard knows 1d7 languages
[09:14] t3hDM roll to see how many he has, then choose them
[09:14] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d7]: 1>  
[09:14] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Oh for the love of... eww, that sounds sappy, you singalong."
[09:14] t3hDM okay so Frankie has to sign in Common
[09:14] t3hDM he doesn't even know his Alignment Language
[09:15] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Oh gawd XD )
[09:15] DurinkanClericOfThor (Wow, even the dice are cooperating with this)
[09:15] Frankie-the-Bard "The Frank demands a reroll."
[09:15] t3hDM (it's beuatiful, isn't it Durinkan)
[09:15] t3hDM you can get a reroll by giving the GM your last slice of pizza
[09:16] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf sneaks to the other side of the doorway and presses her back against the wall by it
[09:16] Frankie-the-Bard ::up to the voice:: "I'll give you a close up view of a horse's head..."
[09:16] Frankie-the-Bard "In the morning..."
[09:16] t3hDM make your Sneaky Sexy Stealth roll, Mitzy
[09:16] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Not a severed one, I hope?"
[09:16] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [2d20]: 17>  
[09:16] Frankie-the-Bard "No, attatched to the Mayor of New York. Whaddya think?"
[09:17] t3hDM Mitzy steps on Frankie's toe along the way and he squeals like a little girl
[09:17] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Ssshhhh! You dolt, it's only a toe!"
[09:17] Frankie-the-Bard "Oooh, baby likes to make Frankie squeeeal!"
[09:17] t3hDM you are now all pressed against the side of the doorway.
[09:17] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "*muttering* I'd like to make you shut up first..."
[09:17] t3hDM a female orcish head pops out through the doorway
[09:18] t3hDM roll for surprise!
[09:18] Frankie-the-Bard "Hey, baby!"
[09:18] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [1d100]: 29>  
[09:18] DurinkanClericOfThor Um, what dice do I roll for suprise?
[09:18] t3hDM you are surprised
[09:18] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Wa-ugh!"
[09:18] * Joins: natalie^drest
[09:18] * ChanServ sets mode: +v natalie^drest
[09:18] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 81>  
[09:19] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "I have a crossbow! And I'm not afraid to load it!"
[09:19] t3hDM the orc's eyes widen in shock, and you hear an orcish name called, the head pops back in. You hear the sounds of hurried dressing
[09:19] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf fumbles frantically for a bolt
[09:19] t3hDM jungle clank
[09:19] Frankie-the-Bard "EVERYBODY knows Frankie."
[09:19] t3hDM and jingling, too
[09:19] DurinkanClericOfThor I ready my Holy Ale of Thor!
[09:19] t3hDM She's not undead
[09:19] Frankie-the-Bard "The heck, I still hear Rio."
[09:19] t3hDM but of course if she is a teetotaller
[09:20] Frankie-the-Bard ::looks up:: "She will be.
[09:20] Frankie-the-Bard "
[09:20] t3hDM are you going to wait for ehr to come out, or will you go in?
[09:20] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf *stomps on Frankie's toes* "Now you can hear yourself squeal again!"
[09:20] t3hDM roll for stomping, Mitzy
[09:20] Frankie-the-Bard "Baby, I don't like it rough."
[09:21] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [1d20]: 10>  
[09:21] * Frankie-the-Bard sings "Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime" to her to calm her down.
[09:21] t3hDM Mitzy broke one of her nails. Took her ages to paint them, too.
[09:21] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 60>  
[09:21] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Grrrr! Look what you made me do, you idiot?"
[09:21] t3hDM Frankie sings adequately in Common
[09:22] t3hDM okay so ou are all waiting for the orcwife to come out
[09:22] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Right. Now, where's that orc broad gone?"
[09:22] t3hDM there's a clanking as 240lbs of orc wife in plate mail comes stomping out with her battleaxe
[09:22] Frankie-the-Bard ::shouting in the door:: "Hey, toots! Come out here so we can get a look at your ugly mug!"
[09:22] DurinkanClericOfThor I use the Holy Ale!
[09:22] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf backs away slowly, blinking
[09:22] t3hDM you can just see her evil eyes through the slit
[09:22] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf I fire the crossbow!
[09:23] Frankie-the-Bard I fire my charm.
[09:23] t3hDM roll for Keg Throwing, Durinkan
[09:23] t3hDM normally Mitzy would go first but she is at -1 to Initiative due to a broken nail
[09:23] DurinkanClericOfThor Or, wait...
[09:24] DurinkanClericOfThor Do I use these other funny dice for Keg Throwing?
[09:24] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Yeah. Don't want it to get even worse - could lose all my nails!)
[09:24] t3hDM use whichever dice you like.
[09:24] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Oh c'mon, toss it already! Hurry!"
[09:25] DurinkanClericOfThor Then I'll roll three of these!
[09:25] Frankie-the-Bard "Choose your dice or I send you over to Chessex and have you made into a special edition."
[09:25] t3hDM while he is slowly hefting the keg, Mitzy gets to shoot.
[09:25] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [3d20]: 24>  
[09:25] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Have a bolt for lunch!"
[09:26] t3hDM you hit, roll for damage. 2d7+1d5
[09:26] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Yikes. All that?)
[09:27] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [2d7+1d5]: 7>  
[09:27] t3hDM you could miss, if you prefer
[09:27] t3hDM a bolt screams across the two yard interval and into the Orc Wife's forehead. She staggers, but seems to only be made angry by it.
[09:27] t3hDM is Durinkan ready to heave the keg yet?
[09:27] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Uh-oh... boys... I need some back-up here..."
[09:27] DurinkanClericOfThor I rolled a 16 to splash her with the ale!
[09:27] Frankie-the-Bard "If you liked that, have a taste of my cannoli!" I turn on the charm.
[09:27] t3hDM we need to see the roll!
[09:28] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Oi, no cheatz0ring, Durinkan!)
[09:28] Frankie-the-Bard (Oh, this had better be posted as an "Actualy Game" thread.)
[09:28] DurinkanClericOfThor It't right there! (16 lines or so up)
[09:28] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Or I'll flash at the DM on a snack break to have you disqualified! ;) )
[09:29] t3hDM no, you have to add the #rpgnet for us to see it
[09:29] t3hDM like /roll 1d6 you'
[09:29] t3hDM you'll see but no-one else
[09:29] DurinkanClericOfThor Oh.
[09:29] t3hDM you need /roll 1d6 #rpgnet
[09:29] -RPGServ:#rpgnet-  
[09:29] t3hDM (if you send me the log, Frankie, I'll clean it up and post it)
[09:29] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Would you hurry with that thing, you cleric?!"
[09:30] Frankie-the-Bard "Frankie don't log nothing but what he releases into the crapper!"
[09:30] t3hDM you heft the heavy keg and it rumbles across the room and knocks into her legs
[09:30] DurinkanClericOfThor (That explains why the other rolls weren't noticed)
[09:30] It does, indeed.
[09:30] t3hDM roll 2d11-1d4 damage, minimum 6 for it to break open
[09:30] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Ohh... creative, bowling!"
[09:30] Frankie-the-Bard (You're playing your character perfectly!)
[09:31] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (You=which of us? :) )
[09:31] Frankie-the-Bard (ALL of you!)
[09:31] t3hDM Durinkan
[09:31] -RPGServ:#rpgnet-  
[09:31] * *Apparition_of_big_bad* monitors the fight scene with vague interest
[09:31] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Here's to hoping she'll topple over..."
[09:31] t3hDM it goes "thump" against her leg but doesn't break open
[09:31] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Right! That does it!"
[09:31] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [2d89+6]: 20>  
[09:31] Frankie-the-Bard "Oh, for... now, for a taste of my cannoli!"
[09:32] t3hDM she nimbly steps aside and it doesn't knock her over
[09:32] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 39>  
[09:32] DurinkanClericOfThor I draw my dwarven hammer.
[09:32] t3hDM Frankie flings a cannoli at the Orc Wife. It goes splat on her mighty steel-clad bosom.
[09:32] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf scurries behind Frankie to reload her crossbow
[09:32] Frankie-the-Bard "Oh, you don't like me so much? Guess good taste doesn;t translate."
[09:32] t3hDM She says in accented Common, "MY TURN"
[09:33] *Background_information* dwarves' cultural weapons are a) roaring fires b) malt beer c) the ripe meat of a bull
[09:33] t3hDM she hefts her mighty axe with a growl
[09:33] t3hDM she attacks a random PC
[09:33] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Leg it! Leg it!"
[09:33] DurinkanClericOfThor Ah. Then I draw my dwarven mug.
[09:33] Frankie-the-Bard "I don't see no trees around here, do you?"
[09:33] t3hDM on a 1 it'll be Mitzy, on a 2-99 it'll be Durinkan and on a 100 it'll be Frankie
[09:33] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "I see nothing but that lumbering thing!"
[09:34] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [1d100]: 69>  
[09:34] t3hDM she swings at Durinkan
[09:34] Frankie-the-Bard (DUDE!)
[09:34] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (PHEWH!)
[09:34] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [4d12]: 36>  
[09:34] t3hDM she hits!
[09:34] Frankie-the-Bard (It's the number of luuurcvge.)
[09:34] True dat.
[09:34] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- t3hDM [2d5+1d4+3d6-1d12]: 12>  
[09:35] t3hDM Durinkan takes 12 HP of damage
[09:35] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Uh-oh... Frankie... keep her busy, sing her a song or something!"
[09:35] t3hDM it's Mitzy's turn again
[09:35] * *Angel_choir* starts singing
[09:35] * Frankie-the-Bard heals Durinkan with the soothing sounds of "Sexual Healing" as only he can sing it.
[09:35] t3hDM okay roll for Sexual Healing
[09:36] * *Angel_choir* apruptly stop singing
[09:36] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 22>  
[09:36] t3hDM a combat round is two minutes that's long enough for Sexual Healing, at least from Frankie
[09:36] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf steadies her aim and fires for the orc's eyes
[09:36] t3hDM okay Durinkan is Sexually Healed
[09:36] t3hDM Mitzy roll
[09:36] DurinkanClericOfThor I'm going to pray for Divine Intervention.
[09:36] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Mitzy-the-Half-Elf [3d10]: 24>  
[09:37] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "See it coming, huh? Huh?!"
[09:37] t3hDM yes I assumed that while being Sexually Healed he was saying 'oh god"
[09:37] Frankie-the-Bard ::me looks up at the heavens and glares:: "You don't heal this fella, I'll make sure half your followers don't have hands to wipe themselves!"
[09:37] t3hDM Mitzy's bolt flies across the corridor and into the Orc Wife's right eye. She says, "ow" and falls over.
[09:37] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "She's down! Finish her of, Thor'ssake!"
[09:37] t3hDM she is flopping around on the floor like a beached tin-clad whale
[09:37] Frankie-the-Bard "Good sht. Now, point that up at that choir for effect."
[09:38] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf boggles at the half-naked groupies and shrieks
[09:38] * *Angel_choir* blanches and vanishes post-haste
[09:38] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "What the ten hells are you doing while I'm trying to save our skins?!"
[09:38] Frankie-the-Bard "Hey, where's the healin'?"
[09:39] DurinkanClericOfThor I'll finish her off with my dwarvenmug.
[09:39] -RPGServ:#rpgnet-  
[09:39] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Get her! Get her quick!"
[09:39] t3hDM you remove her helm and pound her ugly orcish face into a bloody pulp.
[09:39] Frankie-the-Bard "Ahh. Marinara."
[09:39] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "*retching* ... and I thought she looked ugly before.."
[09:40] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "On the bright side... this will do good for my diet..."
[09:40] Frankie-the-Bard "Someone get me mozzerela sticks from the Sands."
[09:40] * Quits: Damiar_the_Wolf (Ping timeout)
[09:40] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf searches the corpse for shinies
[09:40] DurinkanClericOfThor "Ah, the fine craftsmanship of the Dwarven Alemug. Is there nothing it can't do?"
[09:40] Frankie-the-Bard "Where the heck did that ping come from?"
[09:40] t3hDM Mitzy, searching her remains you find 6 CP and a picture of her children.
[09:41] DurinkanClericOfThor I pick my Holy Ale Keg back up.
[09:41] * Frankie-the-Bard sends the picture to his "friends" They'll take care of that.
[09:41] t3hDM of course she is lying in the doorway and there is a room beyond
[09:41] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Uh... bad news is... they've been breeding. Good news - the kids look like their dad!"
[09:41] t3hDM and the corridor continues along
[09:41] Frankie-the-Bard "They'll be playing "Ring around the Rosie" in a dirt pool."
[09:42] t3hDM also, no-one searched the orc's big pot.
[09:42] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf readies her crossbow in case she'll need it
[09:42] Frankie-the-Bard ::to the big voice:: "YOU search his crapper!"
[09:42] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Are you nuts? :P )
[09:42] t3hDM the one with the pantsless orc corpse with the suasage by it.
[09:42] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Would a half-elf stick her hand into Orc turd? NO. )
[09:43] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Uhm... say, fellows... did you check if he did have the runs?"
[09:43] t3hDM (Half-Elf Tubgirl, maybe)
[09:43] Thank you for that mental image..!
[09:43] t3hDM my pleasure, Thanaeon
[09:43] * Thanaeon shivers
[09:43] Frankie-the-Bard (Yesss, yessss. Thank you indeed. ^___^)
[09:43] t3hDM so where are you going what are yoi doing
[09:43] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (GOOD GAWD! *vomits*)
[09:43] * Frankie-the-Bard goes back to the crapper.
[09:44] Frankie-the-Bard (Juuust kidding!)
[09:44] t3hDM (you didn't google, did you? Crazy woman)
[09:44] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf keeps a good distance to the crapper and the corpses
[09:44] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (I had the link sent to me back some four years ago... I really did throw up, then. )
[09:44] Frankie-the-Bard "Aw, heck. I've had worse smelling stuff open for me in Vegas."
[09:44] (For others - if you don't know Tubgirl, really, don't search for it! This is serious! I didn't have any reaction to goatse, but Tubgirl still makes me shiver!)
[09:45] DurinkanClericOfThor (I think there needs to be a law against posting it on other people's LiveJournals. At least, I THINK it was Tubgirl.)
[09:45] t3hDM so, what are you doing?
[09:45] Frankie-the-Bard I take a look in."
[09:45] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Uhm. Where now?"
[09:46] t3hDM you peer through the doorway, Frankie, and see an orcish bedroom beyond
[09:46] Frankie-the-Bard "hOLD ON, i'M SEARCHING THIS TURD'S TURDS."
[09:46] t3hDM oh, you're looking through THAT opening...
[09:46] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "How... eloquent, bardie-boy..."
[09:46] t3hDM you see the glint of GOLD in the poo
[09:46] Frankie-the-Bard (Oh, dear. I didn't mean in THERE."
[09:46] Frankie-the-Bard )
[09:47] Frankie-the-Bard "Jackpot..."
[09:47] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "I'm sure there's something in these caves who didn't hear you yet..."
[09:47] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf frets over her loss of a nail
[09:47] Frankie-the-Bard "AND< BY THE WAY< EVERY MONSTER IN THIS DUNGEON CAN GET A FREE BUFFET AT THE DUNES RIGHT NOW! ON ME!"
[09:47] t3hDM If you stay in one place long enough, the DM has to roll for random encounters. It says so here on page 3,124
[09:48] * Frankie-the-Bard knocks over the crapper.
[09:48] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Oh, come on, let's get moving. Frankie... don't touch me with that hand, thank you."
[09:48] DurinkanClericOfThor I think I have "Remove Turd" memorized. Might make the gold vanish as well.
[09:48] DurinkanClericOfThor Though.
[09:48] t3hDM a large umberhulk slathering and muttering something about Red Lobster goes shambling past you all outside to find the tourists.
[09:48] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Nonono, not the gold! Not the gold!"
[09:49] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "What the..?"
[09:49] Frankie-the-Bard "My kind of fellas. Slimy and owing me favors."
[09:49] t3hDM He's gone. The gold is in the poo, Mitzy.
[09:49] DurinkanClericOfThor I'm a dwarf, I know that making the gold vanish would be bad.
[09:49] Frankie-the-Bard I charm the poo off the gold.
[09:49] t3hDM you want shit to stck to you, Frankie
[09:49] -RPGServ:#rpgnet- Frankie-the-Bard [1d100]: 94>  
[09:49] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Well, if you think I'll dig my painted nails into THAT, you're in for a big surprise."
[09:50] t3hDM the poo clings to the gold stubbornly
[09:50] t3hDM you notice the poo is steaming and squirming. It's.... ALIVE.
[09:50] DurinkanClericOfThor I know I'd have to have SOMETHING that can remove poo from gold...
[09:50] t3hDM You see little tentacles
[09:50] Frankie-the-Bard "If you know what's good for ya, you'd hand that over."
[09:50] Frankie-the-Bard "One crap from me, and it's bye bye, little pooling."
[09:50] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Uh-oh... I have a bad feeling about this..."
[09:50] t3hDM well Durkian you are fairly sure that Undead Poo is unholy.
[09:51] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Use some of your wonder ale on it!"
[09:51] Okay, gotta run. Byeya!
[09:51] t3hDM assuming you can bring yourself to pour ale down the toilet
[09:51] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (See ya, THana XD )
[09:51] * Frankie-the-Bard craps in the pot. "Crappy-chu, I choose YOU!"
[09:51] DurinkanClericOfThor I USE THE HOLY ALE! By poring a tiny bit into my mug and then splashing it in the pot.
[09:51] Frankie-the-Bard "Poo... FIGHT!"
[09:51] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf But he'd be doing that to retrieve gold :D
[09:52] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Frankie! This is not the time - you should've gone before you crawled in here!"
[09:52] t3hDM Durikan, roll your Lust For Gold vs your Love of Ale.
[09:52] Frankie-the-Bard "Hey, it takes crap to fight crap."
[09:52] -RPGServ:#rpgnet-  
[09:53] -RPGServ:#rpgnet-  
[09:53] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "What a charmer you are, Frankie... too bad you chose locks over brains..."
[09:53] t3hDM your Lust for Gold wins
[09:53] Frankie-the-Bard "My locks make the babes flock."
[09:53] t3hDM you our the ale into the craper and it bubbles and screams in pain
[09:53] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "And your lack of a brain makes them vanish?"
[09:53] t3hDM there's a flash of perfumed smoke and the crap has gone replaced with lovely potpurri, with gold in it.
[09:54] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf snickers and then widens her eyes, making cooing little sounds
[09:54] Frankie-the-Bard "I've got more brains than you've got relatives, by this time tomorrow. All I have to do is send ONE messenget to Vito..."
[09:54] t3hDM also, there's a lace doilie on the seat
[09:54] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Pot-o-gold... come to mommie, lovely golden baby... I can carry you.."
[09:54] t3hDM okay so Mitzy carries the ex-craper now filled with potpurri and gold
[09:54] Frankie-the-Bard "So, what the frack is this thing?"
[09:54] Frankie-the-Bard ::looks to the voice in the shy::
[09:55] t3hDM there is still the orcish bedroom over that way, and down the corridor to explore.
[09:55] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf squeals happily and cuddles the fragrant goldpot
[09:55] DurinkanClericOfThor "Nay! That ale was Thor's, and mine! I need at least my fare share of it!"
[09:55] Frankie-the-Bard "Well, with my familiarity with bedrooms...
[09:55] * Frankie-the-Bard goes for the door
[09:55] t3hDM Franie goes into the orcish bedroom and finds a lot of cracker crumbs in the bed.
[09:56] DurinkanClericOfThor "Which by my count, is the entire pot. Ye can keep the potporri if ye want, lass."
[09:56] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Shh! You'll upset it! It needs to be carried safely out of this place, and your ale-throwing isn't going to help, dwarfie-dear."
[09:56] t3hDM under the bed, some rubber suits.
[09:56] t3hDM and a gimp mask
[09:56] * Frankie-the-Bard gathers the suits.
[09:56] Frankie-the-Bard (AND the mask)
[09:56] t3hDM they're not your size, Frankie
[09:56] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Hah! I demand my legal reward for any Adventuring (TM)!"
[09:56] Frankie-the-Bard "I know some people in Vegas who'd owe me some nice favors for this."
[09:57] * Frankie-the-Bard hands over the suits. "There ya go, sweet thing."
[09:57] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Btw... what the heck was a doilie, again? :P )
[09:57] t3hDM (one of those lace things old people put under vases, teapots and so on)
[09:57] Frankie-the-Bard (And why didn't you shoot it?"
[09:57] Frankie-the-Bard )
[09:57] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Don't get those anywhere near this darling baby!" *backs away from the suits and mask*
[09:58] Frankie-the-Bard "Well, this is your split."
[09:58] t3hDM now there is just down the corridor to explore
[09:58] DurinkanClericOfThor I'd love to stay and fight the poncy half-elf for the gold, but I've got work tomorrow. Can we call it a night and get XP?
[09:58] * Frankie-the-Bard boldly continues on.
[09:58] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf "Hrmph. We'll see, singalong, we'll see."
[09:58] t3hDM you come to two doors
[09:58] DurinkanClericOfThor (And I seriously do need to go to bed.)
[09:58] t3hDM a sign above them in several languages says
[09:58] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Hah, the cleric deserts us? :) )
[09:58] Frankie-the-Bard (He's not the only one.)
[09:59] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf (Hehehe, I was just getting warmed-up. :P )
[09:59] Frankie-the-Bard (Good niiight!)
[09:59] * Quits: Frankie-the-Bard (Disintegrated: )
[09:59] t3hDM "Dual Doors of Gygax. Through one door, Instant Flaming Painful Death. Through the other door, One Million GP. Choose."
[09:59] t3hDM okay we leave it there
[09:59] Mitzy-the-Half-Elf Yay XD Death at the door. Whoever goes first does NOT carry the gold. ;)
[09:59] * Mitzy-the-Half-Elf is now known as Ithildin
[10:00] * DurinkanClericOfThor is now known as AWOLJoe
[10:00] t3hDM ph4t l3wt won: For Mitzie, 12 CP, and one pot of gold and potpurri. For Frankie, one Orc foot, and an Orcish rubber gimp suit. For Durikan, nada. Durikan gets 1,108 xp for slaying the Orc Wife, and Frankie gets 500 xp for his songs.Mitzy gets 1,108 xp for slaying the orc on the crapper and a special 10,000 xp bonus for being the chick.
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Mystery Man

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I give the title of this thread a 9.5.

Quote from: JimBobOz
.....and an Orcish rubber gimp suit.


Is that magical Orcish rubber gimp suit?
 

Kyle Aaron

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Quote from: Mystery Man
Is that magical Orcish rubber gimp suit?

t3hDM The party has no wizard with Detect Magic. So you'll have to put it on and see.
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Conflict, the adventure game of modern warfare
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blakkie

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Quote from: JimBobOz
t3hDM The party has no wizard with Detect Magic. So you'll have to put it on and see.

See, this is why I don't come here. First post I check and it is this? :confused:

P.S. How do you tell if it is magical by wearing it? Gimp suits always make me feel magical......
"Because honestly? I have no idea what you do. None." - Pierce Inverarity